Planning and Gearing Up

Way back in July I came downstairs from settling the younger two boys in bed, and found Eldest on the kitchen floor, surrounded by felt pens and crouched over a 6-page calendar that he was making (to the end of 2013), copying dates off our kitchen calendar.  He looked up at me and asked "When does the summer holiday finish?"  I was tempted to get all deep and philosophical, waxing lyrical about our entire lives being a holiday, not needing to put a "Start-of-Term" date in writing, but I knew that he - like his Mum - really appreciates planning ahead, as long as it's not too rigid... and it was his calendar, his idea after all!  So after a few minutes dithering I finally suggested the first week of September, with the option to review when we got there.  And onto his calendar it went.

Well, here we are (or will be on Monday).  And the timing is pretty perfect.  The boys and I are all gearing up, feeling ready to get back into the flow.  They've chosen their subjects for their next lapbooks (Eldest: food chains; Middle: dinosaurs; Youngest: sharks), and I've drawn up a little plan, with their help.  I love planning, and spent most of our first year of Home Ed fighting my natural desire to order and construct mini-curricula etc, out of a well-meaning but slightly misguided desire to give my boys all the 'freedom' they needed.  Then I found the blog posts mentioned in This is our Home Ed Style, and felt freed myself to incorporate a little structure.

So here is our plan...

You'll notice it's very sparse: just two or three ideas per day, which allows lots of space for the boys to follow more of their own interests for the rest of the day.  It is not a timetable as there are no times when things have to be done (other than the clubs) - it just helps us to have a broad outline to get us focused each day.  If the boys (or I) have an idea that they want to try in the near future, they can write it on a post-it and stick it to the planner, then we will make it happen at the next opportunity!  The subjects with smileys are the only parent-required ones (everything else is optional but stuff I know the boys like doing) - and I thought that seeing as they are "work", they can carry a little reward.  For a long time the boys have wanted some kind of box of goodies to swap their 'merits' for, like they had in school, and although I resisted, seeing it as a form of bribery that I believe has no place in fostering a love of learning, we have compromised on just the bare minimum.  So for every smiley subject that is completed, the boys get to stick a smiley sticker onto their colour-coded post-it (top of planner), and at the end of the week they can swap their smileys for some sweets/ wii-time/ whatever they choose to have in the smiley box.  I'm not 100% happy with it still, but we'll give it a go and see.

So there we have it: our sort-of-plan for the term.  We're all enthusiastic and ready to go... I'll let you know how we get on!

PS If anyone's interested, for our planner we used one of those magic whiteboard sheets that adheres to a surface by way of static - no adhesive needed... love it!

PPS To clarify, for anyone who really wants to know, on Tuesday afternoons a friend and I swap some of our children so she can take her son and Eldest to Science club, while I have her youngest here with my other two for fun with Science.  Oh, and Nature club is on alternating Wednesdays, so on the other ones we visit friends!

Finding Our Way

It's been a really good weekend - I feel like I'm starting to make sense of things.  As I mentioned at the end of Friday's post, Structure v Autonomy, a friend pointed me in the direction of a really helpful blog about what the author, Melissa Wiley, calls "Tidal Homeschooling", where home education flows in seasons, at times led by the mother/ educator on projects that she leads them all on, and at other times led by the children's freedom to explore and mull over things that appeal to them.  The post may have been a few years old, but I read it at exactly the right time for me!  In the post there is a link to all of the Tidal Homeschooling posts that followed the original, and they were also really helpful.  One in particular caused a lovely penny-dropping moment.  It was while reading her post Tidal Homeschooling, Part 3.  I recommend reading the whole post as I found it all so beneficial - but the bit that impacted me the most was a quote that obviously similarly impacted her...

“The adults in the child’s life,” writes the Headmistress, referencing Charlotte Mason,

"have the ‘power of appeal and inspiration,’ and the responsibility to act ‘the part of guide, philosopher and friend’ to these young people with wonderful minds but no knowledge to speak of.
“Or… we can just abandon them to their uninformed judgment about what’s important and what isn’t, leave them to their own devices, and allow them to believe that their own judgment about what is and is not important to know is just as well informed and solid an opinion as Mortimer Adler’s, Thomas Jefferson’s, Peter’s, Paul’s, or…. yours. Leaving children to pick up what scraps of knowledge they think to ask about, willy nilly, is not doing them any favors. It isn’t respectful of their situation as newcomers to the world or to the adults they will grow up to be. And if we don’t do our job as the adults in their lives when they are small, the adults they grow up to be will have a malnourished background upon which to build.’ "
 

Reading that was like coming home!  It was like somebody had put their finger right on the area that had been niggling away at me since we started exploring Home Education and trying to find a balance that works for us. Once I read the above quote, and the subsequent comments made by the blogger, about the importance of guiding your children (in an autonomous setting that usually involves strewing interesting books, TV documentaries, day trips, experiences etc across their paths, that they would most likely otherwise not have noticed - and seeing what they choose to pick up and run with), I realised that at times I had fallen into the trap of thinking that autonomous education is about just leaving the children to it (it's not) - and it was at those times that I started craving more structure as it's the only way I am familiar with of leading.   

So clearly, for me now it is not so much about structure v autonomy as it is about parent-led v child-led.  And I have given us permission to be a delightful mixture of both.  Tidal learners in fact (thank you, Melissa Wiley) - at times led by Mummy's (and Daddy's) ideas of what they might enjoy or what would be good for them to be exposed to, with all the enthusiasm and fun we can infuse into whatever it is - and at times led by their own choices and decisions on what they would like to learn more about - with plenty of time just to mull over and play.

*Big sigh of relief*  I feel like my head is back where it needs to be!  Such a relief! Thank you for still reading and being patient while I sorted my thoughts out!

So anyway,  having given myself permission to be more pro-active in their learning (I know, it's embarrassing the silly muddles I can get myself in), I had one-on-one chats with the older boys on Saturday (I have no qualms about Youngest currently), to find out what they think about what we're doing.  It turns out one of the things they miss from school is "Merit Box": a box of small toys and treats that they would 'buy' with the merits they had earned for good work or behaviour during the week.  Much as I don't like a system that invariably falls into unhealthy comparisons (the "good" children always getting more merits than the "naughty" ones), I don't want to deny them something they enjoy - so we have started a small treasure box with the left over party favours from Middle's birthday (chocolate coins, glowsticks etc) - and now we just need to agree on what basis they get the treasure...

Also, I showed Eldest some lapbooks that friends had been kind enough to post online for me to see.  Well, he couldn't wait to start making one - about ocean life, unsurprisingly - but he wants it to be a big one, with chapters - so I taped a few square files together to give him ten pages to fill.  He has already designed and printed the cover, printed some photos and written the 'chapter' on endangered fish. When I say chapter, it was a sentence or two with photos under flaps, but it's his, and he's enthusiastic about it (and he's learning while researching) - so I'm happy!

Whe I asked Middle what he wanted to learn about his smile vanished and shoulders slumped.  "Oh poo" I thought - "he really is still deschooling".  I hastily changed the 'schoolish' terminology of "learning" and reassured him I meant was there anything he was interested in finding out about.  He thought seriously for a moment and then his face brightened a bit and he said, "we-ell, I could do about growing!" (still thinking in terms of having to perform).  I asked if he'd like to get some frogspawn later on and watch it grow into frogs, and he got much happier and started describing a "circle with arrows" (lifecycle) picture that he wanted to draw... and hopped down and ran off to draw just that.  When I showed him the lapbooks online his response was not so enthusiastic as Eldest (Middle seeing it as work to be done), but when I provided him with a folder today to stick his drawings in, he was very keen.  I just need to remember that with him it's all about momentum: just get him interested and the rest follows; if you present a task up front he finds it off-putting, regardless of how much he would actually enjoy it in practice.

So hopefully I'll have some lap-book photos to share in my next post - but for now, I just feel a lot happier that my head is settled and my boys are enthusiastic learners once more - we're still mooching round the woods, (see A Little Wobble from last week) but not feeling so direction-less any more... we're meandering wth purposeful enjoyment once again!

Tidying Up (but not too much)

Just a quick one today...
My laptop charger cable died a sudden death yesterday evening without me noticing until my laptop was out of power :(  I am grateful to have our ancient old PC in the study/ learning room - but the boys are usually on it, & it's pretty slow, poor old thing!  Anyway, I'm hoping my new charger cable will arrive soon - I feel lost without my laptop (probably a sign that I rely on it way too much)!

Today we're having another lovely lazy Monday - just to uphold the stories about HE kids doing school in their pyjamas ;)  Youngest and I made some brownies first thing (sorry, no laptop = no new photos), and then the boys took it in turns on the computer, either on MathsWhizz or Reading Eggs.  The rest of this morning has been spent mainly having a good clear-out of their bedrooms, that now look MUCH better!  They also helped with sorting washing, making lunch & general tidying (I think we even have a bit more space to put some books away in now), and once Middle and Youngest's bedroom was tidy, they had a lovely time turning their now-visible carpet into a safari park with all the toy animals we had found :)  Youngest also made some sticker pictures, and Eldest and I checked eBay where he is currently trying to sell off some of his much-loved lego in order to buy an even more loved Star Wars Wii game.  It's a great lesson for him in Maths, not to forget beginners' level finances, marketing, business studies etc.  I was a bit sad when he told me the other day he's 'grown out of' Lego Atlantis (he used to be passionate about it) - but I have to accept that he's growing up, and I was really glad that he was open to the idea of selling some off to raise his own funds, rather than expecting to have everything he wants handed to him. He used to want to hold on to everything, but our house just isn't big enough, and one thing I have learned from moving house as often as we have, is that you can't afford to hold on to stuff that you aren't reasonably going to use again.  Being a frequent mover has made me a bit of a ruthless anti-hoarder.  I definitely aspire to the William Morris quote,

 "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautfiul"

Of course, having three gorgeous small mess-creators (not to overlook contributions from the adults in the house), I'm resigned to the fact that my house is never going to look anything like a show-home - at least, not until they've all flown the nest - but who wants to look forward to that?  Definitely not me!!!  A friend posted this lovely saying on Facebook the other day, that sums up my attitude pretty well:

"My home is filled with toys & has fingerprints on EVERYTHING & is NEVER quiet.  My hair is usually a mess and I'm always tired, but there is always LOVE & LAUGHTER HERE.  In twenty years time my children won't remember the house or my hair but they will remember the time we spent together & THE LOVE THEY FELT."                                                (from the 'I LOVE BEING A MOM' Facebook page)

So, that said, I'm not going to spend any more time on our faithful but slow old computer, I'll just say that seeing as the weather has taken a turn for the worse again (sigh), we're going to snuggle up for a 'cinema' afternoon, where the curtains are closed to make the room cosy and dark, and we eat popcorn & watch a DVD (Happy Feet 2).  I do love Mondays :)

Coercion versus Encouragement

I have many teacher friends, and to a person I have to say that they are dedicated, hard-working, professional, lovely people.  I have no axe to grind with teachers - I think they are doing an already difficult job in an increasingly close-to-impossible system.  The system however - well, that's a different matter.  It will be obvious to anyone who has read my blog posts that I consider the boys and I to be well rid of the 'system'  So, if I say negative stuff about school nowadays, I am absolutely not putting down the teachers involved, particuarly those who I personally know.
That said, (you knew this was coming, right?) I've been thinking... from an HE point of view, the modern education system uses what seems like a kind of lazy way to train children.  Bear with me: remember I said all the teachers I know are hard-working etc etc - and I believe that.  However, a conversation I had yesterday brought me along a certain train of thought (it's quite lengthy as I've been trying to dredge up some sort of coherence amongst all the thoughts spinning around in my head - but hold on and hopefully we'll get there in the end)...

You see, education and life in general are basically one-and-the-same.  You can't put your child's education in one box, and 'how we bring them up' in another box.  It's all the same.  The more I learn about how my children differ from each other, the more I realise that it impacts everything, not just how I take responsibility for providing each of them with an education.  Just as most parents can see the physical differences between their children, so most of us can tell the differences between what they like or dislike (eg one is dark and enjoys science; one has blue eyes and enjoys art; one has a mischievous grin and enjoys computers - etc).  That much I would consider to be fairly basic knowledge.  However, since we started out on our Home Ed journey, I have had the luxury of time to spend getting to know them on another level - ie what makes them tick; what motivates them; how do they learn.  This is NOT easy!  We've been doing this for three months now, and I feel like I'm just beginning to scratch the surface.  This is why I think deschooling is invaluable - it gives time to get to know your child again more deeply.  It's an intense (and totally rewarding) learning curve - but every time I get a new little revelation about one of the boys, it impacts everything: how we relate, how I can best inspire him, how I can help him etc.

For example, take Eldest.  Having been at school for the longest, there were many things I felt I needed to rediscover about him.  In the last three months I have realised more clearly that he is one who likes to share his experiences - he really values connection.  This impacts everything about the way we relate: if I need to deal with bad behaviour, he needs to know that I'm still on his side (so we often hug while chatting as he finds it much easier to accept what I'm saying, even when it's a correction); if he's struggling with a concept he's learning and sees me as the one with superior knowledge, it puts him off and he gives up, not even asking me - but if I draw alongside him and we learn together, he is really encouraged to persevere.  However, Middle is different.  He is Mr Focus.  Whatever he is focusing on has his entire attention.  If I need to deal with bad behaviour, I have to interrupt his pattern first - to get his attention.  I can hug him and chat as much as I like, but if I haven't helped him to switch off from whatever he's locked on to, he simply won't hear me.  Once I've helped him to switch focus (eye contact helps a lot), there is usually little else that needs addressing.  If I can get his focus on any one thing, he'll generally stick with that - whether academic learning or behaviourally.

So - there is no 'one system for all' mindset: there are as many variations in ways to train children as there are children, it would seem. And this is hard work. Even with just three children to educate, learning what makes them tick, what they like or dislike, favourite subjects, how to motivate them etc - this is all really time-intensive. Multiply that by the amount of children in an average-sized school class, and it instantly becomes untenable - and that's even before you add in all the lesson plans, evaluation forms, SATS preparation & other endless administrative demands.  So there has to be a 'one-size-fits-all' system in place to allow teachers to focus on their class's education.  Practically they just can't make allowances for individual personalities.  Even in my last school, where there was a real emphasis on treating children as individuals academically (using workbooks and one-to-one tutorials where needed to allow them to progress at their own pace), when it came to character training, they were all expected to confirm to the school system.  And basically, most school systems come down to the same system of coercion (behave as we dictate or be penalised with demerits/ time-outs etc) and bribery (if you behave well by our standards you will be rewarded with merits/ stars/ smiles).  There just isn't the time or space to allow for a child who had a sleepless night or has just hit a developmental slump, let alone someone whose personality doesn't fit easily into the acceptable-school-behaviour box.  Even SENCOs have a limited amount of leeway regarding their students' behaviour.  And this is what I consider 'lazy' (by Home Ed standards): imposing one basic system on a group of widely-differing personalities.  Forgiveable in school?  Yes: it's pretty much impossible to treat children in the class as individuals in the same way that I am learning to at home.  In class you can't have a system of demerits for the handful of children who respond to it, plus a different system for a few more etc etc.

But now we are at home?  Well, much as an easy start to the day with a lay-in and pancakes for breakfast may sound lazy to those who have to do the sergeant major bit every morning to get everyone out of the house on time, home education is not for those who like the easy option.  I feel it would be lazy of me to resort to coercing compliance out of the boys - kind of taking the easy way out by dictating obedience rather than being involved with them and encouraging them as individuals on a daily basis.  It takes dedication, hard work and patience to stay connected with them... but boy, is it ever worth it!  There may be times when I need them to respond to a short sharp "no", but generally we're in the process of renewing our minds - turning our backs on the old 'lazy' system of coercion and bribery - and instead putting the focus on encouragement.  How can I encourage my boys to overcome weaknesses, whether academic or character-wise?  Do I penalise, threaten or bribe?  Well I can, if I want to train them to conform.  But I don't - I want them to grow.  That's not to say that Hubby and I will neglect their social training either: they will be taught how to eat with cutlery, to share their possessions, to be kind etc - because all of those values are really important to us.  But when they hit difficulties as they grow, the way I behave will have a big impact - and I want to be one who has taken the time to find out how each one of them is best encouraged, whether by goal-setting, or by learning alongside, or any number of other ways that I haven't yet discovered.

Easy?  Not at all - it'll take a lifetime. I've got to say though: what a ride!

Motivating individuals

Well after our week of 'doing nothing' last week, we had a very busy weekend, travelling across the country to visit family, & back again.  We had three very tired boys this morning, and a houseful of tidying up to attack.  (Would somebody please explain to me how it is that being away from a house leaves you with more mess to tidy?)
So anyway, we had a very easy day today!  DS1 started the day watching Deadly 60 on TV (his all-time favourite programme), which his brothers were also happy to watch - and Mummy started on the washing.  Then there was a fair bit of trampoline bouncing... making the most of this weather as we're still a bit suspicious that it's going to start pouring down again as soon as we relax. This was followed by more playing with the big box from last week (today it morphed from a coffin into beds and then a train), and some arty time, and DS1 did a bit of a Maths workbook - nothing too arduous!
I decided not to go straight back to the Star Chart this week, as I wanted to talk to the boys and see if they had any ideas for how we could introduce a bit of 'structure' (not that I called it that, I just asked them how we were going to decide what we wanted to do every day).  DS3 was the first to contribute, gleefully shouting out "PAINTING!", and nodding emphatically when I asked him if that meant he wanted to paint every day!  Ah, the enthusiasm of a 3-year-old ;)  DS1 got right into the spirit of things, coming up with all sorts of elaborate schemes involving things like my writing sums on bits of paper and then him pulling some out of a hat to complete.  He loves making up games, so that appealed to him, although I think I may have to modify the suggestion to involve less work on my part ;)  He also liked the idea of writing down a list of things that we could do, and then rolling dice to decide which to do at any given time.  DS2 on the other hand had distinct reservations about agreeing to any scheme where he doesn't get to choose what to do for himself .  He is still very suspicious of doing anything that looks like work or that he doesn't want to do, and needs to feel in control of his choices.
So, unsurprisingly there is no single system that appeals to them all!  I have to say, DS3 is pretty easy - he has no qualms about making decisions, so I just have to have a short list of options up my sleeve for him (mostly Reading Eggs, art & craft, educational games, & doing anything with Mummy) - he'll tackle most things if presented to him in an enthusiastic way.  DS1 & 2 are very different, though, and whereas I think DS1 will be OK with any structure that allows him enough freedom to pursue his own interests (he even wrote down a list of things he liked, in case I forgot!), I think DS2 is going to need me to keep things varied and fun - not forgetting he is still clearly in the process of dechooling.  The biggest thing I think we need to tackle is breaking the mindset that we have to treat the boys all the same (I can feel the family star chart being rendered useless even as I type).  In school there was one system that every child had to fit into - some it suited, some it didn't - DS2 it definitely didn't!  The problem is, even though DS1 is quite happy to do 'school-type work', I think he would rebel altogether if he thought DS2 was getting away without doing any at all.  However, as long as I don't present it to DS2 as 'work', but something fun to have a go at with no expectations, I would think he'll be happy to have a go.  Regular readers will know he's been my biggest concern since we started this journey - it's so hard to see such a bright little boy lose all interest in learning, and at such a young age too! I just have to keep reminding myself that it's still early days, and hope that he will get there as long as I take the pressure right off him: it may feel like we're not making much progress - but at least we've halted the downward spiral.  Hopefully once he's stabilised & is feeling secure again, he'll find his groove :)  He really reminds me of the famous quote by Henry Thoreau:

"If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away. "

Anyway,  DS2 had a really good day on Maths-Whizz today - he was really motivated to get enough points to spend in the 'store' on games and personalising his room etc.  He is familiar with that concept from playing Mario on the Wii and accumulating enough points to unlock extra gadgets etc, so for once I'm grateful for the time spent on the Wii, as he can be quite unsure about traditional incentive charts - if he's not in the right mood he can see them as an opportunity to fail :(  Happily, Maths-Whizz incentives obviously fall into the same category as those on Mario Wii games - so he spent a long time playing and in the end I actually had to ask him to stop to let one of his brothers have a turn!
DS1 did really like the Star Chart though - he generally has more confidence to be able to tackle a challenge if there is something he REALLY wants at the end of it.  I don't want him to expect a reward for every single thing he does - he needs to know that sometimes doing something good is its own reward - but as he is motivated by incentives like star charts, I don't want to rule them out altogether either. 
So, this Mummy is doing more thinking: and instead of thinking "how do we as a family do HE?", I'm switching to "how do I encourage DS1 in HE?" - and ditto for DS2, and again for DS3.  It's certainly not an easy life, but my incentives are seeing each of my boys grow - and that is a reward that's worth no end of investment!

PS In case you're wondering, DS3 did get to do his painting today - we had a lovely time getting messy together while his brothers were occupied elsewhere - happy days! :)

Unschooling Day

Well, we abandoned our star chart today.  I was feeling rough anyway when I woke up, and DS2 & 3 were in a snuggly TV-watching mode, so I guessed from the outset that structured work probably wouldn't be a good direction to follow today (and there's no way I'm going to turn down some snuggling & cuddling...!)  Also I felt that yesterday we had pushed the star chart into 'work' zone, so decided to have a non-star-chart day today to try & cancel that out.  DS1 logged on to the computer (GridClub) and found a game that asked him 3 'living things' questions, and then ran to ask me if that counted as a 'science' star - which confirmed to me the need to give it a rest: if we had stuck with the star chart, he would have moved on to the next subject, done as little as possible to get each star, and finished as quickly as he could - whereas when I said we weren't doing the star chart today, he said 'cool', and ran back to the computer where he spent the next hour absorbing facts about the solar system, building a virtual railway from London to Bristol, etc.  This way, without the star chart dictating what he should learn, he probably learned far more than just crossing off tasks on a list in his mind.   Once he'd had enough screen time, he also got in a good amount of lego-time :) I think giving children the time and space to play and explore with different materials is essential to sparking their imagination and creativity (as mentioned in this article which I really like from 'Ross Mountney's Notebook': Learning to play and playing to learn).  Finally this morning he wanted to watch TV, so we found an episode or three of 'Kid Detectives' (currently showing on Pop) that we had recorded.  I find it really helpful to record certain series for DS1's age (10yo), as many programmes for his age can be pretty mind-numbing.  He loves Kid Detectives, where kids explore both 'at home' & 'fantasy' mysteries using forensic & detective skills, and it's stimulating his learning too :)
The choice to be structure-free today was also driven by my over-all priority for DS2, which is still to give him whatever space he needs to deschool, as considered in "to deschool or not".  He generally enjoys the star chart, and doing 'learning stuff', but he is definitely the first to get discouraged and give up.  I am trying to be sensitive to that as his desire to learn - and his confidence in his own ability to learn - is very low at the moment, so his enjoyment of whatever we're doing is paramount: I want him to remember how much fun it is to find things out.  So, a non-star-chart day with no prescribed learning has also done him good.  As DS1 was on the computer, the TV was available for DS2 & 3 to watch CBeebies, and all the lovely gentle educational programmes on there.  Some of them (but not all) are admittedly a bit young for DS2 - but it encourages him in the things he knows, and then the programmes more suited to his level gently lead him on from there.  Of course, it wasn't all TV for DS2 & 3 - they did get fed up at one point and wandered off to make up a game with some discarded bubble-wrap they had found, made some bugs out of rocks, stickers and card, then played with lego, recorded messages on the tape recorder etc - and unsurprisingly, once DS1 had left the computer, DS2 jumped on and had a play making sandwiches etc (with DS3 "helping").
This afternoon we went out for a run-around and play with some friends after they had finished school.  DS1 in particular is missing seeing his friends from school, so I'm trying to make sure he gets regular playdates... and of course I'm hoping we'll all make friends with some other home edders too - we're looking forward to meeting some more new friends in a HE group getting together for 'soft play' next week!
So anyway, today was a successful day of no 'educational' structure at all.  It's tempting to use that as an argument against using formalised incentives, but actually to me it's just another proof that we're still learning and adapting.  Some days (as in Mon-Weds this week) the star chart, work books etc work really well for us - other days it's just about being flexible and recognising when the boys (or I) are just not in the mood - and then we embrace other forms of learning.  We really do have the best of both worlds!  Maybe in a year's time we'll have given up on the star chart, maybe we'll use it all the time - or maybe we'll still be fluctuating, using a variety of methods and tools depending on the mood and circumstances on any given day.  I wouldn't like to even try to say where we'll be - but I'm hoping I'll be better aware of my boys' needs and abilities, and what works for us... and most of all, I'm just really looking forward to the journey :)

Structure - not all bad...

It was an early start for us this morning as we needed to get my car to the garage.  With the boys squashed in the back of Daddy's car (he drove my car with the dodgy brakes & we followed so we could bring him back), we had an impromptu Music non-lesson: we put Classic FM on the car radio, and for each tune that we listened to, we all clapped along to the beat (including DS3 who has a very natural sense of rhythm), then we identified the instruments that we could hear playing, and we described the music - was it happy, sad, relaxed, scary?  Finally, we closed our eyes and descibed pictures in our imagination while the music was playing.  There were some lovely descriptions shared, including horses running (and flying), a river turning into a waterfall, a big purple bird in its nest, camping with Daddy - and then DS1 & 2 joined together for the final piece of music, with DS1 imagining Road Runner and DS2 imagining Wil E Coyote: they came up with a kind of tag-team running commentary which was really sweet :)
Once we were home, the boys were all keen to get the rest of their stars again (that's 3 days in a row... it's working really well as an incentive this week)... 
DS1 did two (!!!) pages of Maths, then found his Handwriting workbook and copied out the cursive letters.  His handwriting isn't bad, but the style of cursive he had learned at school was highly looped and I wasn't at all keen on it, so I gave him the option of practicing a simpler style if he wanted to - and he jumped at the chance.  It was slightly boring for him, but he tends to fluctuate between choosing the easiest workbook or the most interesting workbook - and today was definitely an 'easiest' day ;)  He also had fun creating his own board game - something he quite often does (he loves creating and he loves people having to follow his rules ;) )
DS3 had a lovely time with his Reading Eggs again - especially enjoying the extra game where he got to match up the sound to the animal - and once he finished on the computer, he had a VERY happy time doing baking with Mummy... I haven't seen that much mess created in such a short time, but boy, did we have fun!!!  (And the melting choc muffins from our Children's Book of Baking Cakes were scrummy!)

DS2 decided he wanted another go at Reading Eggs himself, so I set him up with a new trial.  I'm still not convinced they diagnosed him at the right level - it seems a bit easy for him still, but I guess it's important that he enjoys it and it builds his confidence.  We'll carry on with the trial and see if it holds his interest - as with his brothers, if it's on the computer he thinks he's playing, so we may well stick with it, not least to build his familiarity with technology, which is increasingly important in this day and age.  Later he also had fun helping me cook tea, chopping veg etc - it is always nice having an enthusiastic 'assistant'... it may take longer in the long run, but as long as I allow extra time, it makes it more fun, and let's face it, it's a really important life skill!
So all in all, that's three fairly 'academic' days so far this week - but really happy ones!  Having read an entry on 'How do I home educate', from my favourite blog, An Ordinary Life, I was encouraged that having a bit of planning and structure does not have to be a bad thing.  Much of the Home Ed philosophy that I have come across so far has leaned far more towards the unstructured, autonomous type of 'unschooling'.  I expected myself to be too stressed to be able to do that (funnily enough, I haven't been at all stressed), and I've been done my best to avoid rigid structure, preferring to give my children space to relax & rediscover their innate love of learning.  However, as the author of the blog above helped me to see, it is possible to have lovely, relaxed & creative time together, while also having some idea of watching their progress.  I don't want to get all inflexible on the boys - I love that they can choose what they want to learn... but it's not completely autonomous.  They seem OK with the expectation that they will do something that looks like schoolwork, and we all love the times when we've been playing and they get a star on their chart when they didn't realise they were learning :)  I can still see the appeal of unschooling - not having to label what they've done, or divide it into subjects - just letting them learn through play.  At the moment though, a little bit of structure is working well for us, so we're happy to work (and play) with that :)

Thinking outside the Box (or chart)

We've had a much needed lazy day at home today - we had tea late yesterday after our day out, and  Mummy ended up having to go out before they went to bed, to have a go at Zumba (for those who read my entry the other day on "support systems" - it was my chance to have some Mummy-only-time), so of course, the boys were all excited to have Daddy putting them to bed, and what with one thing and another, they ended up going to bed very late. (DS2 was the only one asleep when I got back from Zumba at 9pm)  So - lazy day needed today!
Yesterday we had a new book arrive while we were out that caused much excitement: Backyard Science (to build on the enthusiasm generated by the TV Programme of the same name, as mentioned in "Playing, creating and relaxing")  DS1 was very keen to get stuck in to creating a weather station that he could report back from, and got straight to work on the computer, first creating a Weather Report chart (to fill in once we have the equipment up and running)...

Meanwhile, DS2 & 3 were playing happily in their rooms, building some lovely creations with their Kid Knex  (they even thought about how to display it so Mummy could take a photo)...

All of this I was really happy with, not least because none of it had been instigated by me - their own interests are already coming to the fore - yay!  However, it kind of rendered useless the star chart created last week: I had no spaces allowed for Science, IT, D&T etc - all of which are valuable and important subjects.  They do generally enjoy the chart, and it's proved so far to be a good way to get them thinking of anything other than TV, Wii or nintendo dsi which seem to be their default desired activities after breakfast.  But what do I do with it now?  Maybe I could just have 5 generic 'learning' boxes (I still want 5 for household stuff in case they have a 'non-academic' kind of day - I want them to know that practical jobs such as those around the house are also really valuable).  And for the 'learning' boxes, they could maybe have a longer list of things to choose from...?  The problem is, I'm now struggling with segregating subjects in that way - I was initially hoping that they would get a bit of Maths & English done most days, hence having them on the star chart - but the truth is, you can't separate the subjects like that - eg DS1 got some Maths & English in while doing his Science project (drawing up a chart, spelling & comprehending the new words, he'll be learning to use a protractor for making the wind machine, etc etc).   And as for the whole idea of presenting it all as 'work' to be crossed off a list anyway - is that really what I want to communicate?  I've made no decision yet - these are just questions going round my mind while we explore Home Education as it best works for us...
Anyway today, contrary to expectations, turned out to be a non star chart day - for DS1 at least: he was concerned that we was running out of time to get his other stars, so I reassured him that as he was doing a big project, he didn't have to do the star chart.  DS 2 & 3 got bored of KidKnex after a while, and carried on getting their stars - so perhaps for now we'll keep it in reserve for days when any of their inspiration is low.  After all, it has been very helpful so far, but watching DS1 find something he's interested in and then equipping him to explore that interest as far as he can take it (to the point where he just forgets about games consoles) - well, to me, that's everything I hoped Home Ed would be :)

Variety is the spice of education... I think

We had a slow start to today (still recovering from Saturday) - which is FINE because we CAN! Yay!  Imagine if they were still in school & I'd had to revert to Sergeant Major to get them up, ready, and out to school... *shudder* (excuse me for the 'HE Mummy' gloating moment).
Anyway, once they got going, they really went for it, as we'd arranged for friends to come round in the afternoon and they wanted to be able to play on the Wii with them.  I know incentives & rewards aren't everybody's cup of tea, but the boys have really locked onto the star chart, so we're running with that for as long as it works and they see it as a positive thing :)  The only problem is, DS2 seems to get discouraged if his brothers get stars quicker than him, so he does need encouraging to stay with it, but if it gets too negative for him we'll try something different - nothing's set in stone :)
I'm still exploring ways to inspire them & have definitely found that if we do the same thing every day they get VERY quickly bored (not only the same subject, but even the same resource within the subject).  Just because they enjoyed something one day, I am quickly discovering it really doesn't mean they'll want to do it again the next day.  Whereas one day they might love their workbooks, the next day they might want to do something computer based or more hands-on creative.  Ah well, it keeps me on my toes I guess.  And I know it's ideally more about following their lead, but they're not used to thinking that way yet, so I just keep offering suggestions, & seeing what they go for.  I'm sure they'll be suggesting their own ideas very soon! 
DS1 enjoyed using his dsi to take photos of us, then manipulate the photos into weird and wonderful pieces of art :)  He also got stuck in to one of his library books: Eyewitness Guide to the Ocean (his favourite ever subject).
DS2 wanted to do some drawing, so we got out our much-loved and often-used How To Draw series of books, by Dan Green - absolutely the most accessible drawing books we've found when it comes to the boys being able to easily follow instructions and produce something that looks like the given picture.  It may not be high art, but it really builds their confidence :)  DS2 also enjoyed doing some of his Animal Mazes, as it feels like playing, but is really good for fine motor control, and as such, boosts his handwriting - and he really enjoyed reading a book to me too (it's usually me who reads to him at bedtime; he loved the novelty of it being the other way around)
DS3 - again - started a workbook and just kept going until he had finished, he loved it so much :)  This time it was a 'getting ready to read'-type workbook that we've had since DS1 was little, so it's now out of print & I can't post a link - but anyway, DS3 loved it :)
The Maths Whizz accounts don't go live until next week, but the boys enjoyed the sample lessons so much, I asked them if they'd like to do a bit more today which they were all excited about.  DS1 did 3 lessons at his level (Key Stage 4, for those who are interested), one of which DS2 really liked the look of, so he also did that when it was his turn (despite his being technically KS1) - and got them all right :) DS3 was determined to have a go too, so I sat with him and we went through the Reception games (aimed at age 5).  He's three but hungry to learn & good with numbers - once I showed him what to do he loved it :)
So, five stars each on their chart, but the learning didn't stop there... we've also stumbled on a lovely nature project... Nottingham Trent University have some Peregrine Falcons nesting on their roof, and in partnership with the Nottinghamshire Wildlife Trust, have got a live webcam showing the parents and hatchlings, which is on all day.  We are already loving the Peregrine nest, and I can foresee plenty of learning opportunities as we watch :)   Also following the nature theme (we are definitely wildlife fans), we have been enjoying "Our Planet" (thankyou CBeebies!), with DS2 particularly fascinated by the dung beetles.  Yay for nature projects - Mummy's favourite :)

Unschooling experiment

OK, It can't really be called a valid experiment, as exponents of proper unschooling would say that you have to unschool over a more extended period of time before you see anything that could be called 'results'.  However, I was curious to see how the boys would react to unschooling, and as they had all woken up yesterday morning with a request for a 'pyjama day', by the time I had written yesterday's blog entry (while they were all happily playing), I thought to myself, 'why not?'
So yesterday we did our version of unschooling (apologies to those who understand this concept far better than I & who can see my rookie mistakes all too easily)
Basically, I gave them no direction all day, just to see what they would do (although I did ask them to turn the Wii off when I could see they'd had enough)
Admittedly, there was a fair bit of watching the TV (as expected), but I was pleased to see that at one point they got bored of it and wandered off to play their own games - DS1 then spending a considerable amount of time building an impressive lego construction, and DS2 & 3 having a whale of a time with dressing up & role play etc.  (I still maintain that one of the best sounds in the world to a mother's ears is the sound of her children laughing and playing sweetly together).  After lunch they asked to play Wii, and DS1 said 'oh no, we need to get our stars first' (referring to yesterday's star chart reward)  DS2 was immediately discouraged by this, so we talked about it and said we didn't have to do the star chart every day, and even if we did, the goal didn't have to be the same every day (parental quandary: am I confusing them by shifting the goalposts, or - as is my hope - keeping it fun and interesting by adding variety?)
Anyway, we talked about it together, and agreed that playing on the Wii was fine, but today (as some of them wanted to earn stars) we would have an easier goal: 3 stars and they could have chocolate for pudding (they have a huge stash of left-over easter eggs still)
DS1 immediately worked as fast as possible and chose the easiest goals, to get his stars - interestingly he decided he wanted to get them all before he played on the Wii;  DS3 carried on with what he was doing, and just happened to get his stars as part of his normal day (he wanted to do some more dot-to-dot, he wanted to help Mummy put the washing on etc, without registering that in doing so he was earning stars);  DS2 turned his attitude completely around and actually got more stars than the rest of them - once he started earning them he got a bit addicted to the achievement of putting stars on his chart:)
So I'm not sure whether that was an unschooling day or not, as they wanted to follow the star chart, and set some 'goals'... it might count, as it was all of their own volition, with minimum intervention from me (I actually got some housework done - I like unschooling! ;) ), but then again it might not count as they coud be said to be still acting out of the old mindset of working for incentives & rewards.  Guess what?  "I don't know!" ;)  I do know that we had a lovely day though, so I'm happy with that - maybe I'll stop thinking about it so much, and just stick to the plan of relaxing & having fun while we learn :)  Not that thinking about it is a bad thing - I find it fascinating; I just don't want to constrict myself by following any one method. We're still novices - I'm enjoying experimenting & learning about how my children learn - isn't that the whole point? :)

Our Star Chart

The forecast today was for rain, rain and more rain - so we did hustle a little this morning at breakfast (though happily Sergeant Major was barely in evidence). The rain was forecast to arrive at around 9ish, so we had a breakfast race to see if we could all beat the rain. We won (finished at 8.30am) and headed to the little park up the road for a run around in the fresh air, as it might be our only chance today ;) An hour later, and DS1 & 3 wanted to come home (DS2 was still enjoying playing tag with Mummy, but was happy to concede) We got back just in time & the boys drank some hot chocolate & watched a little TV while I drew up the new star chart...

(we've had ours for a while, but if you're interested, you can get them from Amazon)
I'm not sure how I feel about having goals, incentives etc for doing work - it feels a little too 'schoolish' - but neither do I want them to just expect to play Wii/ DS/ watch DVDs all day - so we'll give this a go and see if it works.  As with all home educating, I'm just trying things out to see what works for us :)
The star chart fits all 3 of them, runs for a whole week, and has space for 10 daily goals. I set the target really small: 5 stars and they got to play Mario Party (the current Wii favourite), which was easily achieveable for today.  I was hoping that as they all had the same reward, they would encourage each other to get all their stars so that they could play together.  In practice they all finished near each other anyway, but DS1, who has his own room, did help his younger brothers who share a room to finish tidying theirs :)
As we progress I may set the goal higher - say a weekly goal of 30 stars.  I have deliberately set the goals so half of them are 'academic' subjects, and half are more practical, household-based - I expect them to learn to help around the home too (I want my future daughters-in-law to bless me ;) ).  This way if the boys want to do school-type work they can (they choose what they do & how much of it for each subject), and if they don't feel like doing "schoolwork", they can avoid it by helping me... win-win ;)  In practice I was surprised that DS2 chose mostly academic work (which included painting art, that we all joined in with).  DS1 chose whatever was quickest - some academic & some practical.  DS3 was happy to be advised by DS1 ;)

our paintings

I don't expect to run this system every day - it would get boring, & I want plenty of opportunities for either trips out or for them to just spend all day on one subject if they choose to, without feeling penalised ny not getting lots of stars.  I have more questions than answers, but it worked well today, so we'll keep it as a resource thats available to us, and see how it progresses...