There's a verse in the Bible that says "As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." I have felt like that lately regarding the so-called autonomy v structure debate. I say so-called because as said often before, I do not believe that the two are mutually exclusive - but anyhow... Despite my conviction of the best approach for us, I have still been periodically vacillating, pondering, dithering and just plain running round in circles on the subject in my head, which is totally foolish because deep down I know what works for us and there is no need to go wobbling off on tangents, wondering if it would be better to do it another way. The debate in my head is as messy and does me as much benefit as a dog returning to its vomit. As I said in The good, the bad and the funny, it is one of the few drawbacks of being part of an active online community. I love that Home Ed'ors are an opinionated lot: we need to be, to go against the flow of mainstream education. But sometimes the opinions are expressed with as much subtlety as a steam-roller, and that is not good when despite being opinionated, we can also feel vulnerable, stuck out there on a pioneering limb (sorry for the shocking mixing of metaphors there - just shows how messy my head gets over this issue).
A good friend has told me that she has felt real pressure from the 'structured' branch of HE - that she with her autonomous style feels judged for being lazy and not taking her children's education seriously. I was amazed by this revelation. I have only ever felt pressure from the 'Autonomous' branch that if you have any structure at all, you risk ruining your child's freedom and love of learning and are effectively little better than a dictator/ imprisoner. Of course, both perceived judgements are probably much more to do with our own insecurities than any actual person's opinion - otherwise an opinion wouldn't bother either of us.
Anyway, you get the picture: me on the one hand confident that I know what is best for me and mine, but on the other hand trying to swat away irritating and persistent niggles of "but what if you should be more ....., or less ....." (those dratted 'shoulds' again!). This could be one reason why I have been struggling to blog regularly lately... I've been pestered by 'shoulds'. They may be tiny, but in enough volume the buzz they create in your head can make it very difficult to think lucidly.
So when I came across a couple of blog posts recently, it was like a deep breath of fresh air - or to continue the theme, like a giant pair of pink fluffy earmuffs, blocking out the buzzing.
First was a post from a blog that I read often - it's one of my favourites that I relate well to and am always inspired by: An Ordinary Life. One bit in particular resonated with me, when one of the girls concerned made some new friends and was telling them about her home education, saying,
"I told them how I do an hour or two learning at the table and then spend the rest of the day playing, either outside, watching the telly or whatever I want (which includes arts, crafts and so many other things). I told them that science is mostly experiments."I LOVED that summary - it sounded just like HE used to look here when everything was flowing nicely. (This year has had a few interruptions and we haven't fully got back into the flow since)
The second blog post was from The Organized Unschooler - oh, how I love this lady already. She - like me - is drawn to the ideals of unschooling. BUT she - like me - has a pathological need to organise. AND - oh joy - she has married them both when it comes to Home Education. I love it. It is OK for me to be making plans, drawing up curricula, having ideas and suggestions and dreams when it comes to what my boys learn. And it is OK for them to not necessarily be interested, and have ideas of their own. I probably require a little more of the children than this lovely blogger, but that's OK - I'm not trying to copy the Organized Unschooler, just be inspired by her!
Both of those blog posts combined to reboost my confidence. As said in my previous post, I do not have to align with any one style of Home Ed (apart from maybe the 'making it up as I go along' one). So if you out there are in the middle, needing a confidence boost - or just interested in how one family does it, this is our style (which we have resumed this week, bolstered by the encouragement of some very fabulous home educating bloggers out there):
We have some parent-led aspects: I do ask the boys to do about 30 minutes (less for Youngest) of Maths Whizz or Reading Eggs every morning Monday - Thursday (though this morning they asked to do workbooks instead... fine by me!). Fridays we play a board game in place of the online curricula. Most mornings we have a Bible story and chat - I forgot this morning, but they soon reminded me! And then the rest of the mornings are a mixture of Mummy's ideas and their own - but all depending on their level of interest. If they have a lapbook (topic work) on the go I like them to do some work on it a couple of times a week - but some weeks they do none, some weeks they complete an entire book, depending on their enthusiasm. I like to get an art project, some baking, science experiment etc in at least once a week (note: I like to - it's not written in stone. It depends on their interest and whatever else is going on that week). If they want to watch TV in the mornings, we try to make it learning programmes - likewise computer games. My aim is always to leave the afternoons free for plenty of exploration, playing, visiting friends etc.
So there it is! I don't think you can put a label on that, but that's us: that's how we do it - for now at least. I daresay I will revisit the old chestnuts of structure, autonomy, confusion, shoulds etc more often than is helpful - but I guess that comes with the territory of being a parent trying to make sure they're doing the best for their children. For now I feel like I just needed to get it down on "paper". I hope it helps you to read it - it certainly helped me to write it!
Showing posts with label autonomy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autonomy. Show all posts
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
Monday, 1 July 2013
The Good, the Bad, and the Funny
Back after another absence... this time because we have just been away for a week, camping at a really lovely site in Weymouth, where a great time was had by all! I'm feeling quite refreshed (which was much needed) although the washing machine hasn't rested since we got back on Saturday.
I was wondering what to blog about - and if indeed I feel the need to keep going. I don't feel so much of a "home ed novice" any more. Not that I'm an expert in any sense of the word, but I do feel I have a bit more confidence on what we're doing now & a bit less of a need to write down all my thought processes.
Still, my attention has been grabbed by a few things this week, that I felt the need to comment on. Some good, some not so good, and some just amusing. While on holiday I got chatting with a lovely lady, bonding over the fact that she also had three boys. Hers were closer in age (all preschool), and she asked how the age range was for us (6.5 years between Eldest and Youngest). I said that the biggest challenge was home educating, finding things that they would all enjoy, but somehow it works (sneaky me - slipping it into the conversation: I like to spread awareness of home education as a viable way to raise children where possible). Anyway, we had a lovely chat about it - she seemed really interested, and shared a lot of concerns about school as provoked by her sister's current experience teaching in primary school.
So that in itself was lovely - that I got to share with her all the positive things about home education: my children are happier, healthier, somehow managing to learn and grow at an impressive rate, despite our unhurried approach. We are all less stressed, appreciating the chance to stop and 'smell the roses' - or just appreciate whatever detail grabs us at the time. Looking back I do ask myself how I managed to keep up the pace of life that we were living in before. It didn't do any of us any good, with hindsight. The lovely thing about talking to someone new to home education is that you realise afresh just how good Home Ed is. And that's important, because I have to confess that before we went on holiday I was feeling a bit jaded. Not by home education in itself, but tired of one of the few negative aspects of being part of the Home Ed community online.
You see, despite the fact that I am more secure in who we are and what works best for us, there does appear to be this need in some online groups to pigeonhole people. And if you know me, you'll know that I detest labelling people for the sake of it. I can't abide being shoved in a box by people who don't know us, so they feel they can judge whether they approve or dislike our approach. It's my own fault I suppose - I feed it by trying to describe what we do in an attempt to help people - that's kind of what this blog is about, let alone chatting on groups. But anyway we're too structured to be "Autonomous", so I am told, and apparently we're too relaxed to be "Structured". If it weren't for this incessant need by others to define, I couldn't care less. I don't want to be in either gang, as both can be pretty intolerant at times. However. It's not as big a deal as you might think reading this now - it just got a bit wearing at the time. And that is another reason why I have been questioning the need to blog: do I want to keep trying (and failing) to explain ourselves to others when actually I don't think there is a need?
But then I came across this link, the Ten Most Annoying Homeschool Questions Ever Asked. It made me chuckle (just don't take it too seriously, OK?) - and the bit I found the most amusing was in the comments at the end, where someone said that they were asked how their children would learn to stand in line if they didn't go to school! At first I found it such a bizarre thing to focus on, but on reading further it spawned a whole new conversation on the validity of the question - people saying this had been a real issue for them, others saying it was never a problem - and all sorts of different perspectives in between. It was so refreshing, and reminded me again of the joy of Home Education: the variety of individual experiences. There is no one right way to do it, because there is no one type of child. There is absolutely no point getting caught up in a "Autonomous v Structure" battle, because some children and/ or parents need structure while others work better without. Actually as I have said before, I believe it is possible to be autonomous and structured, if structure is what the child chooses - and many do - but that's another can of worms. Some people like the security of a label, and far be it from me to remove that from them. Wanting to belong/ attach yourself to a particular philosophy is fine of course, and I admire those people who have such clear and strong convictions that they can clearly define who they are and what they want. It's just not me. Home Ed wasn't something we had a firm conviction about from day one of parenthood. I was eventually convinced that it was right for us to do, and I knew there had to be a better way than what the boys and I had experienced in school - but the rest is a glorious kind of winging it - soaring like birds on the thermals of self-motivated interest, and at other times coming down to earth to rest and fulfil the more prosaic needs. I am simply committed to doing whatever I believe to be best for the boys at any given time. I don't think you can stick a label on that. It is all just home education, and regardless of style, every parent who does it because they have their children's best interest at heart is doing just great in my books.
I was wondering what to blog about - and if indeed I feel the need to keep going. I don't feel so much of a "home ed novice" any more. Not that I'm an expert in any sense of the word, but I do feel I have a bit more confidence on what we're doing now & a bit less of a need to write down all my thought processes.
Still, my attention has been grabbed by a few things this week, that I felt the need to comment on. Some good, some not so good, and some just amusing. While on holiday I got chatting with a lovely lady, bonding over the fact that she also had three boys. Hers were closer in age (all preschool), and she asked how the age range was for us (6.5 years between Eldest and Youngest). I said that the biggest challenge was home educating, finding things that they would all enjoy, but somehow it works (sneaky me - slipping it into the conversation: I like to spread awareness of home education as a viable way to raise children where possible). Anyway, we had a lovely chat about it - she seemed really interested, and shared a lot of concerns about school as provoked by her sister's current experience teaching in primary school.
So that in itself was lovely - that I got to share with her all the positive things about home education: my children are happier, healthier, somehow managing to learn and grow at an impressive rate, despite our unhurried approach. We are all less stressed, appreciating the chance to stop and 'smell the roses' - or just appreciate whatever detail grabs us at the time. Looking back I do ask myself how I managed to keep up the pace of life that we were living in before. It didn't do any of us any good, with hindsight. The lovely thing about talking to someone new to home education is that you realise afresh just how good Home Ed is. And that's important, because I have to confess that before we went on holiday I was feeling a bit jaded. Not by home education in itself, but tired of one of the few negative aspects of being part of the Home Ed community online.
You see, despite the fact that I am more secure in who we are and what works best for us, there does appear to be this need in some online groups to pigeonhole people. And if you know me, you'll know that I detest labelling people for the sake of it. I can't abide being shoved in a box by people who don't know us, so they feel they can judge whether they approve or dislike our approach. It's my own fault I suppose - I feed it by trying to describe what we do in an attempt to help people - that's kind of what this blog is about, let alone chatting on groups. But anyway we're too structured to be "Autonomous", so I am told, and apparently we're too relaxed to be "Structured". If it weren't for this incessant need by others to define, I couldn't care less. I don't want to be in either gang, as both can be pretty intolerant at times. However. It's not as big a deal as you might think reading this now - it just got a bit wearing at the time. And that is another reason why I have been questioning the need to blog: do I want to keep trying (and failing) to explain ourselves to others when actually I don't think there is a need?
But then I came across this link, the Ten Most Annoying Homeschool Questions Ever Asked. It made me chuckle (just don't take it too seriously, OK?) - and the bit I found the most amusing was in the comments at the end, where someone said that they were asked how their children would learn to stand in line if they didn't go to school! At first I found it such a bizarre thing to focus on, but on reading further it spawned a whole new conversation on the validity of the question - people saying this had been a real issue for them, others saying it was never a problem - and all sorts of different perspectives in between. It was so refreshing, and reminded me again of the joy of Home Education: the variety of individual experiences. There is no one right way to do it, because there is no one type of child. There is absolutely no point getting caught up in a "Autonomous v Structure" battle, because some children and/ or parents need structure while others work better without. Actually as I have said before, I believe it is possible to be autonomous and structured, if structure is what the child chooses - and many do - but that's another can of worms. Some people like the security of a label, and far be it from me to remove that from them. Wanting to belong/ attach yourself to a particular philosophy is fine of course, and I admire those people who have such clear and strong convictions that they can clearly define who they are and what they want. It's just not me. Home Ed wasn't something we had a firm conviction about from day one of parenthood. I was eventually convinced that it was right for us to do, and I knew there had to be a better way than what the boys and I had experienced in school - but the rest is a glorious kind of winging it - soaring like birds on the thermals of self-motivated interest, and at other times coming down to earth to rest and fulfil the more prosaic needs. I am simply committed to doing whatever I believe to be best for the boys at any given time. I don't think you can stick a label on that. It is all just home education, and regardless of style, every parent who does it because they have their children's best interest at heart is doing just great in my books.
Monday, 28 January 2013
Finding Our Way
It's been a really good weekend - I feel like I'm starting to make sense of things. As I mentioned at the end of Friday's post, Structure v Autonomy, a friend pointed me in the direction of a really helpful blog about what the author, Melissa Wiley, calls "Tidal Homeschooling", where home education flows in seasons, at times led by the mother/ educator on projects that she leads them all on, and at other times led by the children's freedom to explore and mull over things that appeal to them. The post may have been a few years old, but I read it at exactly the right time for me! In the post there is a link to all of the Tidal Homeschooling posts that followed the original, and they were also really helpful. One in particular caused a lovely penny-dropping moment. It was while reading her post Tidal Homeschooling, Part 3. I recommend reading the whole post as I found it all so beneficial - but the bit that impacted me the most was a quote that obviously similarly impacted her...
“The adults in the child’s life,” writes the Headmistress, referencing Charlotte Mason,
So clearly, for me now it is not so much about structure v autonomy as it is about parent-led v child-led. And I have given us permission to be a delightful mixture of both. Tidal learners in fact (thank you, Melissa Wiley) - at times led by Mummy's (and Daddy's) ideas of what they might enjoy or what would be good for them to be exposed to, with all the enthusiasm and fun we can infuse into whatever it is - and at times led by their own choices and decisions on what they would like to learn more about - with plenty of time just to mull over and play.
*Big sigh of relief* I feel like my head is back where it needs to be! Such a relief! Thank you for still reading and being patient while I sorted my thoughts out!
So anyway, having given myself permission to be more pro-active in their learning (I know, it's embarrassing the silly muddles I can get myself in), I had one-on-one chats with the older boys on Saturday (I have no qualms about Youngest currently), to find out what they think about what we're doing. It turns out one of the things they miss from school is "Merit Box": a box of small toys and treats that they would 'buy' with the merits they had earned for good work or behaviour during the week. Much as I don't like a system that invariably falls into unhealthy comparisons (the "good" children always getting more merits than the "naughty" ones), I don't want to deny them something they enjoy - so we have started a small treasure box with the left over party favours from Middle's birthday (chocolate coins, glowsticks etc) - and now we just need to agree on what basis they get the treasure...
Also, I showed Eldest some lapbooks that friends had been kind enough to post online for me to see. Well, he couldn't wait to start making one - about ocean life, unsurprisingly - but he wants it to be a big one, with chapters - so I taped a few square files together to give him ten pages to fill. He has already designed and printed the cover, printed some photos and written the 'chapter' on endangered fish. When I say chapter, it was a sentence or two with photos under flaps, but it's his, and he's enthusiastic about it (and he's learning while researching) - so I'm happy!
Whe I asked Middle what he wanted to learn about his smile vanished and shoulders slumped. "Oh poo" I thought - "he really is still deschooling". I hastily changed the 'schoolish' terminology of "learning" and reassured him I meant was there anything he was interested in finding out about. He thought seriously for a moment and then his face brightened a bit and he said, "we-ell, I could do about growing!" (still thinking in terms of having to perform). I asked if he'd like to get some frogspawn later on and watch it grow into frogs, and he got much happier and started describing a "circle with arrows" (lifecycle) picture that he wanted to draw... and hopped down and ran off to draw just that. When I showed him the lapbooks online his response was not so enthusiastic as Eldest (Middle seeing it as work to be done), but when I provided him with a folder today to stick his drawings in, he was very keen. I just need to remember that with him it's all about momentum: just get him interested and the rest follows; if you present a task up front he finds it off-putting, regardless of how much he would actually enjoy it in practice.
So hopefully I'll have some lap-book photos to share in my next post - but for now, I just feel a lot happier that my head is settled and my boys are enthusiastic learners once more - we're still mooching round the woods, (see A Little Wobble from last week) but not feeling so direction-less any more... we're meandering wth purposeful enjoyment once again!
“The adults in the child’s life,” writes the Headmistress, referencing Charlotte Mason,
"have the ‘power of appeal and inspiration,’ and the responsibility to act ‘the part of guide, philosopher and friend’ to these young people with wonderful minds but no knowledge to speak of.Reading that was like coming home! It was like somebody had put their finger right on the area that had been niggling away at me since we started exploring Home Education and trying to find a balance that works for us. Once I read the above quote, and the subsequent comments made by the blogger, about the importance of guiding your children (in an autonomous setting that usually involves strewing interesting books, TV documentaries, day trips, experiences etc across their paths, that they would most likely otherwise not have noticed - and seeing what they choose to pick up and run with), I realised that at times I had fallen into the trap of thinking that autonomous education is about just leaving the children to it (it's not) - and it was at those times that I started craving more structure as it's the only way I am familiar with of leading.
“Or… we can just abandon them to their uninformed judgment about what’s important and what isn’t, leave them to their own devices, and allow them to believe that their own judgment about what is and is not important to know is just as well informed and solid an opinion as Mortimer Adler’s, Thomas Jefferson’s, Peter’s, Paul’s, or…. yours. Leaving children to pick up what scraps of knowledge they think to ask about, willy nilly, is not doing them any favors. It isn’t respectful of their situation as newcomers to the world or to the adults they will grow up to be. And if we don’t do our job as the adults in their lives when they are small, the adults they grow up to be will have a malnourished background upon which to build.’ "
So clearly, for me now it is not so much about structure v autonomy as it is about parent-led v child-led. And I have given us permission to be a delightful mixture of both. Tidal learners in fact (thank you, Melissa Wiley) - at times led by Mummy's (and Daddy's) ideas of what they might enjoy or what would be good for them to be exposed to, with all the enthusiasm and fun we can infuse into whatever it is - and at times led by their own choices and decisions on what they would like to learn more about - with plenty of time just to mull over and play.
*Big sigh of relief* I feel like my head is back where it needs to be! Such a relief! Thank you for still reading and being patient while I sorted my thoughts out!
So anyway, having given myself permission to be more pro-active in their learning (I know, it's embarrassing the silly muddles I can get myself in), I had one-on-one chats with the older boys on Saturday (I have no qualms about Youngest currently), to find out what they think about what we're doing. It turns out one of the things they miss from school is "Merit Box": a box of small toys and treats that they would 'buy' with the merits they had earned for good work or behaviour during the week. Much as I don't like a system that invariably falls into unhealthy comparisons (the "good" children always getting more merits than the "naughty" ones), I don't want to deny them something they enjoy - so we have started a small treasure box with the left over party favours from Middle's birthday (chocolate coins, glowsticks etc) - and now we just need to agree on what basis they get the treasure...
Also, I showed Eldest some lapbooks that friends had been kind enough to post online for me to see. Well, he couldn't wait to start making one - about ocean life, unsurprisingly - but he wants it to be a big one, with chapters - so I taped a few square files together to give him ten pages to fill. He has already designed and printed the cover, printed some photos and written the 'chapter' on endangered fish. When I say chapter, it was a sentence or two with photos under flaps, but it's his, and he's enthusiastic about it (and he's learning while researching) - so I'm happy!
Whe I asked Middle what he wanted to learn about his smile vanished and shoulders slumped. "Oh poo" I thought - "he really is still deschooling". I hastily changed the 'schoolish' terminology of "learning" and reassured him I meant was there anything he was interested in finding out about. He thought seriously for a moment and then his face brightened a bit and he said, "we-ell, I could do about growing!" (still thinking in terms of having to perform). I asked if he'd like to get some frogspawn later on and watch it grow into frogs, and he got much happier and started describing a "circle with arrows" (lifecycle) picture that he wanted to draw... and hopped down and ran off to draw just that. When I showed him the lapbooks online his response was not so enthusiastic as Eldest (Middle seeing it as work to be done), but when I provided him with a folder today to stick his drawings in, he was very keen. I just need to remember that with him it's all about momentum: just get him interested and the rest follows; if you present a task up front he finds it off-putting, regardless of how much he would actually enjoy it in practice.
So hopefully I'll have some lap-book photos to share in my next post - but for now, I just feel a lot happier that my head is settled and my boys are enthusiastic learners once more - we're still mooching round the woods, (see A Little Wobble from last week) but not feeling so direction-less any more... we're meandering wth purposeful enjoyment once again!
Friday, 25 January 2013
Structure v Autonomy
Can you hear my brain stretching from where you are?
Unsurprisingly, given the latest little wobble, I have been revisiting the old "structure v autonomy" debate that has permanent residence in my head. Sometimes I manage to ignore it better than other times, that's all! Maybe the whole of HE is just one big debate/ experiement on the subject - or maybe I will have an 'answer' one day, who knows?!
Part of me is incredibly frustrated with myself for still vacillating on the subject, but I still want to be true to where we're at on this journey, in case it helps others. I guess anyone who's as bored with the subject as I am tempted to be just won't be reading - so it's just me and you then. Pull up a chair and I'l fill you in... bear with me while I try to be patient with where I am...
Today I posted in a forum asking why it is that there seems to be laods of information available on autonomous HE, but so little on the structured side of things. We decided between us that structured Home Ed'ors aren't necessarily embarrassed by the way they home educate - after all, it is what works for their family - BUT, there have been too many groups where anyone who mentions that they are structured in their approach then gets metaphorically jumped on and made to feel somehow inferior for not being autonomous (it's almost as 'bad' as saying you voluntarily accept LA visits - shocking thought!!!). You know, I can't bear this kind of judgemental behaviour. It's hard enough going against the flow of mainstream education when you choose to home educate, let alone arguing between ourselves about the 'right' or 'wrong' way to do it - surely we need to be supporting each other's freedom to choose whatever works best for us?!
Anyway, I digress. Today we had a trip to Toys R Us to spend some Christmas/ birthday money and vouchers. While we were there I spotted and bought an English workbook for 10-11 year olds approaching their SATs. I mean, what was that all about? Since when have I wanted to measure how any of them were "keeping up" with their peers in school? I don't even believe in education as a race!
Well, partly I think that when we started HE I knew we needed to get away from the intense structure of school, so we probably swung to the other extreme - and as the boys and I obviously needed deschooling, that was immeasurably helpful for all of us. I think that now I'm just swinging back, and feeling the need to go over the issues again, to get a more balanced view - and that is manifesting as a stronger desire for structure at the moment.
Also, I have lately felt that Eldest is growing beyond the point where we can all look at things together - he is capable of taking subjects much further than we can go when we're looking at things together with his brothers (eg with things like kitchen science experiments) - but I don't think he knows how to take it further, so I'm feeling the need to "educate" him. This is most likely the reason for my mind having been churning over how to HE three boys of different levels - because I can see Eldest is ready to be stretched. (I'm still not resolved on that though... it's an ongoing issue...) However, he may be ready to be stretched, but that doesn't mean he wants to be. Similarly, Youngest is showing signs of being ready to start writing (his fine motor control is improving, he's drawing circles, lines etc)... but he's not interested if I give him a 'learning to write' worksheet. So I'm not going to push it - I figure he'll let me know when he's ready. And maybe I need to apply the same logic to Eldest: when he's truly ready to push himself, he'll let me know...? It's a nerve-wracking game though, trusting your child to show you when they really are ready - and what if my instincts turn out to be correct (in that he really does need help finding direction)? I do love the child-led nature of unschooling, but I don't like the rigid idea that the parents shouldn't "interfere". As a mother I believe we can trust our instincts concerning our children, and as a Christian I believe that God leads us to the best for each of our children... and as both of those, I believe that I mustn't discard my concerns simply because they don't match up with a certain ideology.
So what am I saying? Good question! I think I'm saying that while I doubt we'll ever yield to a complete classroom-type structure, I suspect we may need a bit more structure in our HE journey - and I'm giving myself permission to explore that. It doesn't mean I'm forcing my will on my children; and it doesn't mean they will have to stop having fun, just to meet my demands. It means that if I perceive a need for a bit of direction, that's OK. Just like when children learn to ride a bike: some steadfastly refuse any help until they've mastered it for themselves (I was always this kind of child); some need their parents giving them stability and helping them to balance before letting them go. Neither is better or worse - both are just learning to ride in their own way. With Eldest I feel like he's coming to a new area of growth where he might need a bit of stability for a while, until he takes off by himself again. I'm sure if he gets fed up of being held up (or more likely, being held back), he'll soon say! And if it looks like I'm putting him off, you can be sure I'll back right off! Generally it doesn't take long at all before he's raring to go at whatever the new thing is.
Does this apply to the others? Well, I'm really chilled with where Youngest is right now; I don't feel any need to push him or change anything for the time being. With Middle, although I feel like if I tried to introduce any structure he would run a mile, actually I suspect there is a confidence issue. Sometimes he needs a little coercion to do something until he realises he loves it, which then makes him feel really good about himself, so a bit of a nudge in the right direction could be a good thing - but in his case it's more about specifics (such as writing in cursive which he has expressed a desire to do but reluctance to practice) and therefore may end up being the most structured for a while, with Mummy cheering him on all the way.
So who knows? that's where we are right now - happy to try something new and see how it goes, but not writing anything in stone! No change then!
PS A friend just posted a link to a blog about "Tidal Homeschooling"that really fits with where I'm at - I absolutely love it! So I'm sharing it here too :)
Unsurprisingly, given the latest little wobble, I have been revisiting the old "structure v autonomy" debate that has permanent residence in my head. Sometimes I manage to ignore it better than other times, that's all! Maybe the whole of HE is just one big debate/ experiement on the subject - or maybe I will have an 'answer' one day, who knows?!
Part of me is incredibly frustrated with myself for still vacillating on the subject, but I still want to be true to where we're at on this journey, in case it helps others. I guess anyone who's as bored with the subject as I am tempted to be just won't be reading - so it's just me and you then. Pull up a chair and I'l fill you in... bear with me while I try to be patient with where I am...
Today I posted in a forum asking why it is that there seems to be laods of information available on autonomous HE, but so little on the structured side of things. We decided between us that structured Home Ed'ors aren't necessarily embarrassed by the way they home educate - after all, it is what works for their family - BUT, there have been too many groups where anyone who mentions that they are structured in their approach then gets metaphorically jumped on and made to feel somehow inferior for not being autonomous (it's almost as 'bad' as saying you voluntarily accept LA visits - shocking thought!!!). You know, I can't bear this kind of judgemental behaviour. It's hard enough going against the flow of mainstream education when you choose to home educate, let alone arguing between ourselves about the 'right' or 'wrong' way to do it - surely we need to be supporting each other's freedom to choose whatever works best for us?!
Anyway, I digress. Today we had a trip to Toys R Us to spend some Christmas/ birthday money and vouchers. While we were there I spotted and bought an English workbook for 10-11 year olds approaching their SATs. I mean, what was that all about? Since when have I wanted to measure how any of them were "keeping up" with their peers in school? I don't even believe in education as a race!
Well, partly I think that when we started HE I knew we needed to get away from the intense structure of school, so we probably swung to the other extreme - and as the boys and I obviously needed deschooling, that was immeasurably helpful for all of us. I think that now I'm just swinging back, and feeling the need to go over the issues again, to get a more balanced view - and that is manifesting as a stronger desire for structure at the moment.
Also, I have lately felt that Eldest is growing beyond the point where we can all look at things together - he is capable of taking subjects much further than we can go when we're looking at things together with his brothers (eg with things like kitchen science experiments) - but I don't think he knows how to take it further, so I'm feeling the need to "educate" him. This is most likely the reason for my mind having been churning over how to HE three boys of different levels - because I can see Eldest is ready to be stretched. (I'm still not resolved on that though... it's an ongoing issue...) However, he may be ready to be stretched, but that doesn't mean he wants to be. Similarly, Youngest is showing signs of being ready to start writing (his fine motor control is improving, he's drawing circles, lines etc)... but he's not interested if I give him a 'learning to write' worksheet. So I'm not going to push it - I figure he'll let me know when he's ready. And maybe I need to apply the same logic to Eldest: when he's truly ready to push himself, he'll let me know...? It's a nerve-wracking game though, trusting your child to show you when they really are ready - and what if my instincts turn out to be correct (in that he really does need help finding direction)? I do love the child-led nature of unschooling, but I don't like the rigid idea that the parents shouldn't "interfere". As a mother I believe we can trust our instincts concerning our children, and as a Christian I believe that God leads us to the best for each of our children... and as both of those, I believe that I mustn't discard my concerns simply because they don't match up with a certain ideology.
So what am I saying? Good question! I think I'm saying that while I doubt we'll ever yield to a complete classroom-type structure, I suspect we may need a bit more structure in our HE journey - and I'm giving myself permission to explore that. It doesn't mean I'm forcing my will on my children; and it doesn't mean they will have to stop having fun, just to meet my demands. It means that if I perceive a need for a bit of direction, that's OK. Just like when children learn to ride a bike: some steadfastly refuse any help until they've mastered it for themselves (I was always this kind of child); some need their parents giving them stability and helping them to balance before letting them go. Neither is better or worse - both are just learning to ride in their own way. With Eldest I feel like he's coming to a new area of growth where he might need a bit of stability for a while, until he takes off by himself again. I'm sure if he gets fed up of being held up (or more likely, being held back), he'll soon say! And if it looks like I'm putting him off, you can be sure I'll back right off! Generally it doesn't take long at all before he's raring to go at whatever the new thing is.
Does this apply to the others? Well, I'm really chilled with where Youngest is right now; I don't feel any need to push him or change anything for the time being. With Middle, although I feel like if I tried to introduce any structure he would run a mile, actually I suspect there is a confidence issue. Sometimes he needs a little coercion to do something until he realises he loves it, which then makes him feel really good about himself, so a bit of a nudge in the right direction could be a good thing - but in his case it's more about specifics (such as writing in cursive which he has expressed a desire to do but reluctance to practice) and therefore may end up being the most structured for a while, with Mummy cheering him on all the way.
So who knows? that's where we are right now - happy to try something new and see how it goes, but not writing anything in stone! No change then!
PS A friend just posted a link to a blog about "Tidal Homeschooling"that really fits with where I'm at - I absolutely love it! So I'm sharing it here too :)
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
A Little Wobble
I don't ever seem to get major wobbles - you know, the sort that make you seriously consider if your child(ren) would be better off in school. Because mine have already done the school thing I am completely confident that they are better off with me (for reasons that regular blog-readers will be familiar with, so I won't take up space by repeating it all here). However, the little sneaky wobbles where you just catch yourself wondering "am I doing this right?"; "is my child ever going to get interested in anything other than Minecraft?"; "should we be doing X Y or Z?" (argh, "should"... *smacks head* shoulds are never far from the wobbles!)... yes, I get those!
So I've been thinking about this again, and I've concluded that I'm feeling a bit directionless. One thing I liked about teaching was having it all laid out before you - the national curriculum clearly showing the way; a nice broad path, clearly marked out, heading ultimately to one goal: GCSEs (or equivalent). Subjects, Topics, Workbooks, Attainment Targets, Lesson Plans, Assessment Forms - easy peasy (apart from the phenomenal amount of work involved in creating and maintaining all of the above!!). Of course, the main problem was guiding groups of different children with different abilities and different passions along the same path. It wasn't in fact a production line where you could put each child through the same process and get the same results at the end. Some children flourished, some struggled, some were ruined. Hence the perceived need for Home Education: the chance for us to walk a different path; one of our own making... a little adventure. No nice straight path here - more of a meander through the woods, exploring whichever openings take our fancy, with some openings leading to dead-ends, some possibly getting a bit boggy, and some leading to absolutely glorious, soul-flooding places of wonder where you just want to set up camp. Best of all, getting to share that path with the people I love most in the world.
But... do you see the problem? Wandering in the woods is lovely - truly; it's one of my favourite things to do. It's just that sometimes you can get a bit lost. And at times like this you can find yourself longing to be back on the straight open road with signposts everywhere, and the reassurance of millions of other people all doing the same thing... No? Well OK, maybe not - but at least a map would be nice!
So that's where I am: a little bit lost. Yes, we're dong the English & Maths curriculum. My twin safety blankets of Reading Eggs and MathsWhizz - the equivalent of those little yellow arrows you get in the woods, giving a vague sense of direction (and a little sigh of relief: "oh good, a yellow arrow: at least I'm on a recognised route; even if it's not the one I started on, it'll take me somewhere civilised!"). If sometimes I get a little concerned that the online 'work' is getting too boring for the boys, or it's going against my desire to have them following only their passions, I give them a few days off (like we have this week), and reaasure myself that half an hour a day is hardly going to stop their brains working for themselves. And yes, I have given myself permission to make suggestions, to invite them into the things that I think would be interesting. They make suggestions too. It's nice; we have fun; we learn... I'm just feeling a bit 'where-next'-ish.
OK then, so when I'm lost what do I do? Well first I try to work out where I am. In HE terms, this is like taking stock of where we are. Take Eldest this morning. I didn't think he'd done anything much except mooch, but after a lovely little chat (I wasn't interrogating him honest, just taking an interest!) it turns out he had...
1/ written a poem for Mummy about Mummy
2/ learned about the Tudors and pirates on 'Horrible Histories Gory Games' (TV)
3/ drawn Spongebob cartoons for Middle
4/ built lego constructions
5/ experimented with building a tornado machine using plastic bottles
6/ learned more about wildlife on 'Barney's Barrier Reef' and 'Natural Born Hunters'
7/ read a few books: the Ultimate Official Guide to Club Penguin, Waddle On Joke Book, Professor Bumblebrains Bonkers Book of God
For a mooch, I'd say he's been quite productive! What a little star!
And as for Middle and Youngest? They played together really nicely all morning! Marble runs, Kid K'nex constructions, imaginative role play... and more. They were playing so nicely I didn't want to interrupt. Yes I would have liked them doing things I could more easily tick off as 'subjects', but I know better than to try to make them confirm to my wobbly insecurities. Personally, yes, I would like a bit more structure (not least because a few of my friends are having very successful structured times of it at the moment, which always brings it to my attention again) - but I'm fairly sure that Middle at least would balk at the idea. Eldest might go for it for a while, but he's doing OK without anyway. Youngest has lost any interest in workbooks etc - but he's easy in the sense that he's very definite about his likes and interests. If he wants to learn something you won't stop him, and if he doesn't want to, there's no point trying to persuade him. Generally, it's quite clear to me that there is still some deschooling in process.
If I know where we are (we're doing OK, learning, and to a degree still deschooling), we can't be totally lost! The next question then is: do I know where we're going? Not in terms of having signposts and maps, or tickboxes no - but generally? I need to remind myself of why I'm doing this - what's the goal? Basically, we're aiming at producing happy, well-adjusted individuals, capable of discovering and pursuing their own interests. Exams are not our goal. When you've been in educational surroundings for as long as I have, it can seem that exam results are the be-all and end-all of education - so forgive me if I'm stating the obvious... I just need to remind myself so I don't go into autopilot. You know that feeling when you're an experienced driver - you're driving along and realise that you weren't paying full attention, you're just on auto-pilot, following the familar roads that you're used to, to get home or another well-travelled-to destination? Well in educational terms, exams are my auto-pilot. I need to periodically remind myself that that is NOT our destination any more. True, they may well be a valuable stop off along the way, to help any of our boys get to where they want to go, but my focus is on producing enthusiastic and capable learners, and eventually adults who are fulfilled in their lives. The boys don't yet know what they want from lives occupation-wise, so there's no point looking for a map to follow. We're back to meandering, exploring & looking for the next inspiration to strike.
To go back to where I started then...am I still feeling lost? Um... well, still a bit directionless, but given that none of the boys have expressed any desire to learn/ achieve any one thing at the moment, that's understandable. We are heading in the right direction - and I'm pretty sure at least some of us are still deschooling (I certainly am). Whatever we do, while writing this post I have come to realise again that the hardest thing about HE for me is that I can't use any one method with all three boys. I think I need to focus again on the best way to help Eldest, the best way to help Middle, and the best way to help Youngest - and see where that leads us. Following three individual paths at once? Now there's a challenge! And a whole other blog post! Excuse me while I go & let my brain whirr...
So I've been thinking about this again, and I've concluded that I'm feeling a bit directionless. One thing I liked about teaching was having it all laid out before you - the national curriculum clearly showing the way; a nice broad path, clearly marked out, heading ultimately to one goal: GCSEs (or equivalent). Subjects, Topics, Workbooks, Attainment Targets, Lesson Plans, Assessment Forms - easy peasy (apart from the phenomenal amount of work involved in creating and maintaining all of the above!!). Of course, the main problem was guiding groups of different children with different abilities and different passions along the same path. It wasn't in fact a production line where you could put each child through the same process and get the same results at the end. Some children flourished, some struggled, some were ruined. Hence the perceived need for Home Education: the chance for us to walk a different path; one of our own making... a little adventure. No nice straight path here - more of a meander through the woods, exploring whichever openings take our fancy, with some openings leading to dead-ends, some possibly getting a bit boggy, and some leading to absolutely glorious, soul-flooding places of wonder where you just want to set up camp. Best of all, getting to share that path with the people I love most in the world.
But... do you see the problem? Wandering in the woods is lovely - truly; it's one of my favourite things to do. It's just that sometimes you can get a bit lost. And at times like this you can find yourself longing to be back on the straight open road with signposts everywhere, and the reassurance of millions of other people all doing the same thing... No? Well OK, maybe not - but at least a map would be nice!
So that's where I am: a little bit lost. Yes, we're dong the English & Maths curriculum. My twin safety blankets of Reading Eggs and MathsWhizz - the equivalent of those little yellow arrows you get in the woods, giving a vague sense of direction (and a little sigh of relief: "oh good, a yellow arrow: at least I'm on a recognised route; even if it's not the one I started on, it'll take me somewhere civilised!"). If sometimes I get a little concerned that the online 'work' is getting too boring for the boys, or it's going against my desire to have them following only their passions, I give them a few days off (like we have this week), and reaasure myself that half an hour a day is hardly going to stop their brains working for themselves. And yes, I have given myself permission to make suggestions, to invite them into the things that I think would be interesting. They make suggestions too. It's nice; we have fun; we learn... I'm just feeling a bit 'where-next'-ish.
OK then, so when I'm lost what do I do? Well first I try to work out where I am. In HE terms, this is like taking stock of where we are. Take Eldest this morning. I didn't think he'd done anything much except mooch, but after a lovely little chat (I wasn't interrogating him honest, just taking an interest!) it turns out he had...
1/ written a poem for Mummy about Mummy
2/ learned about the Tudors and pirates on 'Horrible Histories Gory Games' (TV)
3/ drawn Spongebob cartoons for Middle
4/ built lego constructions
5/ experimented with building a tornado machine using plastic bottles
6/ learned more about wildlife on 'Barney's Barrier Reef' and 'Natural Born Hunters'
7/ read a few books: the Ultimate Official Guide to Club Penguin, Waddle On Joke Book, Professor Bumblebrains Bonkers Book of God
For a mooch, I'd say he's been quite productive! What a little star!
And as for Middle and Youngest? They played together really nicely all morning! Marble runs, Kid K'nex constructions, imaginative role play... and more. They were playing so nicely I didn't want to interrupt. Yes I would have liked them doing things I could more easily tick off as 'subjects', but I know better than to try to make them confirm to my wobbly insecurities. Personally, yes, I would like a bit more structure (not least because a few of my friends are having very successful structured times of it at the moment, which always brings it to my attention again) - but I'm fairly sure that Middle at least would balk at the idea. Eldest might go for it for a while, but he's doing OK without anyway. Youngest has lost any interest in workbooks etc - but he's easy in the sense that he's very definite about his likes and interests. If he wants to learn something you won't stop him, and if he doesn't want to, there's no point trying to persuade him. Generally, it's quite clear to me that there is still some deschooling in process.
If I know where we are (we're doing OK, learning, and to a degree still deschooling), we can't be totally lost! The next question then is: do I know where we're going? Not in terms of having signposts and maps, or tickboxes no - but generally? I need to remind myself of why I'm doing this - what's the goal? Basically, we're aiming at producing happy, well-adjusted individuals, capable of discovering and pursuing their own interests. Exams are not our goal. When you've been in educational surroundings for as long as I have, it can seem that exam results are the be-all and end-all of education - so forgive me if I'm stating the obvious... I just need to remind myself so I don't go into autopilot. You know that feeling when you're an experienced driver - you're driving along and realise that you weren't paying full attention, you're just on auto-pilot, following the familar roads that you're used to, to get home or another well-travelled-to destination? Well in educational terms, exams are my auto-pilot. I need to periodically remind myself that that is NOT our destination any more. True, they may well be a valuable stop off along the way, to help any of our boys get to where they want to go, but my focus is on producing enthusiastic and capable learners, and eventually adults who are fulfilled in their lives. The boys don't yet know what they want from lives occupation-wise, so there's no point looking for a map to follow. We're back to meandering, exploring & looking for the next inspiration to strike.
To go back to where I started then...am I still feeling lost? Um... well, still a bit directionless, but given that none of the boys have expressed any desire to learn/ achieve any one thing at the moment, that's understandable. We are heading in the right direction - and I'm pretty sure at least some of us are still deschooling (I certainly am). Whatever we do, while writing this post I have come to realise again that the hardest thing about HE for me is that I can't use any one method with all three boys. I think I need to focus again on the best way to help Eldest, the best way to help Middle, and the best way to help Youngest - and see where that leads us. Following three individual paths at once? Now there's a challenge! And a whole other blog post! Excuse me while I go & let my brain whirr...
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Hedgehog Fever
With two rescued hoglets in our downstairs loo, it is not really surprising that hedgehogs are creeping into much of our learning at the moment. Particularly (but not exclusively) when it comes to craft! This week Eldest worked patiently on making a pompom hedgehog (fiddly things, pompoms!) while Middle and Youngest did a potato printing of hedgehogs and owls, adapted from a project in this book. As I was helping them all to do different projects I didn't get to join in myself this time. This made a noticeable difference in that I couldn't demonstrate what I meant to the younger two, which made it significantly harder for them to understand what I was trying to explain (eg when saying to Youngest to put the potato down and lift straight up again, he interpreted that to mean dragging the potato down the page and back - a totally reasonable interpretation but one which had the opposite of the desired effect). Lesson for Mummy: explaining something is okay but is just a one-dimensional way of teaching (auditory only) & open to confusion. By using demonstrations as well you include a second dimension (visual) which provides a better foundation for letting the learner have a go, adding a third dimension (kinesthetic) - all of which together give a much more stable learning experience. Anyway, I think the finished works of art were really sweet...
Middle and Youngest also made some cute hedgehog collages - Middle's were obviously getting into the festive mode! (nb you can tell what season is fast approaching by the amount of glitter liberally scattered about this house)...
Of course the boys aren't the only learners here - having sent the hedgehog poo to be tested (a learning experience in itself) & having received the results, I have been to the vets to learn how to remove ticks, apply topical treatment and give sub-cutaneous injections! (Note to anyone considering caring for juvenile hedgehogs: it's not as straightforward as you might think!) Eldest came for the 'lessons' with me, but Youngest had been too excited by the vets' waiting room & just wanted to play at being puppies with Middle, so the younger two went to Grandmas. Hedgehog Midge was looking a bit poorly yesterday & possibly feverish, so I was quite concerned when I went to bed last night. I even woke up thinking about him - I think I've also got more than a touch of hedgehog fever! Anyway, he has put weight on again today and I have hedgie anti-biotics on order to collect tomorrow, so hopefully he'll see improvement soon. My next project is to see if I can sex them. I believe Midge to be male and Squidge to be female, based on nothing other than Midge having a whopping appetite and being a bit more aggressive, whereas Squidge has a prettier face and is feisty in a less butch way. I'll be fascinated to see if my gender stereotyping bears any reflection on the true state of things. However until they uncurl in my hands I won't know, so it could take a while!
In other news, we have written and posted our polite letter to the LA, declining their visits and including our Educational Philosophy, as blogged about in Feeling Prickly. I'm relieved to have that done, and am hoping to hear nothing more. I think we'll still go out next Weds though (their proposed date to visit), just in case...
This week (other than the hog fever) has been quite nice and calm. Craft club on Tuesday saw all three boys making a hanging mobile each. The proposed theme was insects or undersea creatures, which is usually Eldest's favourite subject, but this time he decided he wanted a mobile of something else... no prizes for guessing, but suffice it to say they're spiky & live in our downstairs loo! Anyway, I've mostly regained my equilibrium, and feel like I am getting to grips again with this Home Education lark. We've got into MathsWhizz and Reading Eggs again, are playing games together, investigating together etc - as well as giving them space to do their own thing where they want to. I'm sure the boys haven't suffered for not having had my full attention these last few weeks: they have studied, played, learned etc on their own, which is a good thing. However I do take my role as facilitator seriously, and I like it best when I can focus properly on it, rather than being distracted from it with too much busy-ness. Autonomous learning is all well and good, but I think it's better if it's a conscious choice rather than a side-effect of a preoccupied parent.
Speaking of autonomy, I made the 'mistake' of suggesting an activity to the boys today. It wasn't really a bad thing - they all agreed quickly enough, and we got some nice results - but I was kicking myself for having forgotten that I was trying to avoid suggestions because I want the boys to be able to think for themselves and find their own inspiration rather than relying on me. Anyway like I said it wasn't a bad thing, and I haven't suggested anything for ages, so I've stopped kicking myself now. I asked if they'd like to write some poems. I wrote one too (remembering my earlier lesson about demonstrating), and they were all keen, although Eldest ran out of interest very quickly, and Middle's poem turned almost immediately into a story which he dictated to me (he got totally discouraged by the time it was taking to write a few words, so Mummy helped!). I will leave you with our finished pieces of writing. If you can't spot the theme I suggest you go and lie down in a darkened room somewhere... or should that be me...?
Our Hedgehogs - by Youngest
We have some hedgehogs named Midge and Squidge.
They are a bit little and like their food.
Midge and Squidge like doing poos.
They don't hit; they're friendly hedgehogs.
Our Hedgehogs - by Eldest
We've got some hedgehogs
They stink like a dog
One's called Midge
Another's called Squidge
They're a bit tiny
But not whiney
They're very happy
Even without a nappy
Hedgehogs - by Mummy
Spikey, pokey, pointy, prickly,
Snuffly nose that feels so tickly.
Two little eyes, all black and beady,
Four little legs, surprisingly speedy.
Nestled in leaves, they sleep through the cold,
(curled in a ball, they're not easy to hold!)
Some think they're gorgeous; some think they're pests -
but we love our little hedgehog guests.
Hedgehog Adventure - by Middle
Once there were three hedgehogs who were friends for ever. One night they went on a walk to the park and they saw some people who were going to see fireworks. They wanted to know what fireworks meant, and the people were very gentle and kind and they knew all about hedgehogs so the people told the hedgehogs what fireworks meant and the hedgehogs wanted to see the fireworks with them. Then they went to the festival to see the fireworks. They saw loads of different coloured ones. The hedgehogs loved the pretty ones but they didn't like the noise. Then it was getting to daytime and they needed to go back home to sleep. Then the people said goodbye. The hedgehogs went back home and their mother said, "where have you been?" The hedgehogs explained all about their adventure to the festival and the fireworks, then their Mum tucked them into bed and kissed them goodnight. The End.
Pompom hedgehog by Eldest
Middle's "Night-time"
Youngest's "Night-time"
Middle and Youngest also made some cute hedgehog collages - Middle's were obviously getting into the festive mode! (nb you can tell what season is fast approaching by the amount of glitter liberally scattered about this house)...
"Hedgehog" by Youngest
"Mummy and Baby Christmas Hedgehogs" by Middle
Of course the boys aren't the only learners here - having sent the hedgehog poo to be tested (a learning experience in itself) & having received the results, I have been to the vets to learn how to remove ticks, apply topical treatment and give sub-cutaneous injections! (Note to anyone considering caring for juvenile hedgehogs: it's not as straightforward as you might think!) Eldest came for the 'lessons' with me, but Youngest had been too excited by the vets' waiting room & just wanted to play at being puppies with Middle, so the younger two went to Grandmas. Hedgehog Midge was looking a bit poorly yesterday & possibly feverish, so I was quite concerned when I went to bed last night. I even woke up thinking about him - I think I've also got more than a touch of hedgehog fever! Anyway, he has put weight on again today and I have hedgie anti-biotics on order to collect tomorrow, so hopefully he'll see improvement soon. My next project is to see if I can sex them. I believe Midge to be male and Squidge to be female, based on nothing other than Midge having a whopping appetite and being a bit more aggressive, whereas Squidge has a prettier face and is feisty in a less butch way. I'll be fascinated to see if my gender stereotyping bears any reflection on the true state of things. However until they uncurl in my hands I won't know, so it could take a while!
In other news, we have written and posted our polite letter to the LA, declining their visits and including our Educational Philosophy, as blogged about in Feeling Prickly. I'm relieved to have that done, and am hoping to hear nothing more. I think we'll still go out next Weds though (their proposed date to visit), just in case...
This week (other than the hog fever) has been quite nice and calm. Craft club on Tuesday saw all three boys making a hanging mobile each. The proposed theme was insects or undersea creatures, which is usually Eldest's favourite subject, but this time he decided he wanted a mobile of something else... no prizes for guessing, but suffice it to say they're spiky & live in our downstairs loo! Anyway, I've mostly regained my equilibrium, and feel like I am getting to grips again with this Home Education lark. We've got into MathsWhizz and Reading Eggs again, are playing games together, investigating together etc - as well as giving them space to do their own thing where they want to. I'm sure the boys haven't suffered for not having had my full attention these last few weeks: they have studied, played, learned etc on their own, which is a good thing. However I do take my role as facilitator seriously, and I like it best when I can focus properly on it, rather than being distracted from it with too much busy-ness. Autonomous learning is all well and good, but I think it's better if it's a conscious choice rather than a side-effect of a preoccupied parent.
Speaking of autonomy, I made the 'mistake' of suggesting an activity to the boys today. It wasn't really a bad thing - they all agreed quickly enough, and we got some nice results - but I was kicking myself for having forgotten that I was trying to avoid suggestions because I want the boys to be able to think for themselves and find their own inspiration rather than relying on me. Anyway like I said it wasn't a bad thing, and I haven't suggested anything for ages, so I've stopped kicking myself now. I asked if they'd like to write some poems. I wrote one too (remembering my earlier lesson about demonstrating), and they were all keen, although Eldest ran out of interest very quickly, and Middle's poem turned almost immediately into a story which he dictated to me (he got totally discouraged by the time it was taking to write a few words, so Mummy helped!). I will leave you with our finished pieces of writing. If you can't spot the theme I suggest you go and lie down in a darkened room somewhere... or should that be me...?
Our Hedgehogs - by Youngest
We have some hedgehogs named Midge and Squidge.
They are a bit little and like their food.
Midge and Squidge like doing poos.
They don't hit; they're friendly hedgehogs.
Our Hedgehogs - by Eldest
We've got some hedgehogs
They stink like a dog
One's called Midge
Another's called Squidge
They're a bit tiny
But not whiney
They're very happy
Even without a nappy
Hedgehogs - by Mummy
Spikey, pokey, pointy, prickly,
Snuffly nose that feels so tickly.
Two little eyes, all black and beady,
Four little legs, surprisingly speedy.
Nestled in leaves, they sleep through the cold,
(curled in a ball, they're not easy to hold!)
Some think they're gorgeous; some think they're pests -
but we love our little hedgehog guests.
Hedgehog Adventure - by Middle
Once there were three hedgehogs who were friends for ever. One night they went on a walk to the park and they saw some people who were going to see fireworks. They wanted to know what fireworks meant, and the people were very gentle and kind and they knew all about hedgehogs so the people told the hedgehogs what fireworks meant and the hedgehogs wanted to see the fireworks with them. Then they went to the festival to see the fireworks. They saw loads of different coloured ones. The hedgehogs loved the pretty ones but they didn't like the noise. Then it was getting to daytime and they needed to go back home to sleep. Then the people said goodbye. The hedgehogs went back home and their mother said, "where have you been?" The hedgehogs explained all about their adventure to the festival and the fireworks, then their Mum tucked them into bed and kissed them goodnight. The End.
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Lessons in Independence, aka "Back off, Mummy"
So much for this being an easier week!!! I've had a couple of really big projects of my own that needed finishing off this week (that I think I must have been in denial about), and although they were my idea and I've really enjoyed doing them (and the recipients were/ will be really blessed by them), part of me was also a bit miffed by missing out on returning to the gentle pace of just hanging out with my boys, watching them grow and having fun together...
Still, the lovely thing is, we'll be able to get back to it next week. It's not like school half-term holidays when I always used to look forward to having a rest but then the week flashed past in a whirl of 'must-do' activities, cramming in as much neglected housework, family outings and visits to friends as we possibly could, leaving us as tired, if not more tired, than we started!
Anyway, in amongst all my head-down-must-get-this-finished-ness of this week so far, there have been some absolute gems that I wanted to share. As most HEd'ors discover at some point, when the 'primary educator' is removed, the learners don't fall into chaos as they would in a classroom setting where they rely on the grown-up to tell them what to do - no, they just adapt; they carry on learning in their own way, finding out what they want to find out for themselves. Sometimes I think seasons of being prevented from helping/ educating/ interfering (!) are a really good thing as they allow us to see how resourceful our children really are. Mine have been drawing, designing, doing workbooks, reading LOTS, watching fascinating documentaries (by preference over Spongebob & pals!). Youngest turned himself into a tiger by use of a red felt pen (non-washable!) Middle has crafter paper planes and other paper models, they have created codes, made up games with each other, and so much more that I can't remember (this is why I try to blog more often - if I leave it more than a day or two I forget all the 'wow' moments). Oh, and on Monday Eldest finally got his wish to get on Minecraft. You know, I tried to make sense of it, I really did, but no matter how many lovely patient people tried to explain it to me, all my brain could take in was blah blah minecraft blah blah server blah single player blah classic blah blah. The website wasn't much help either - in the end I decided it was easier to pay the £20 (just under) and just set him up as a single player until we've worked the rest out so he can play safely with friends. Anyway, he's loving it - and it is causing his brain to learn new ways of thinking and strategising, so all is good for now. His joy at getting Minecraft for himself may well have been the contributing factor behind my lovely start to the day yesterday...
I was about to come downstairs from getting Youngest up, when Eldest called upstairs, "not yet, Mummy - I am making a surprise for you". When I was allowed downstairs shortly after, I was ushered into the front room where Eldest and Middle assumed the "ta-da" position, pointing towards the armchair and the table next to it...
As if that weren't enough from my two biggest boys (Eldest had no sweets so Middle had freely and generously donated some from his, as well as his favourite hedgehog toy for me to cuddle), Eldest had also emptied the dishwasher without needing to be reminded AND tidied up a huge pile of mess that was on the sofa in the lounge! All for me...! Unsolicited...! Now, marshmallows in chocolate and sweets for breakfast aren't really my thing (not that I told them that of course), but oh boy, the love that went into that sacrificial surprise - well, I've been floating on the thought of it ever since. I have filed it carefully at the forefront of my memory to hold on to next time Eldest gets a bit hyper or pre-teenish! I have such sweet boys... :)
Eldest really is growing, and showing signs of wanting to do more things for himself. I am used to Youngest being Mr "I can do it BY MYSELF" - such as just now when he ran into the study having taken the batteries out of his camera & telling me it needed new ones. When I mentioned I would have a look in a minute, he decided a minute was too long to wait, so immediately went to get the batteries for himself, opened the packaging and was about to insert them without assistance. I think I'm equal parts stressed and proud about the fact that he is only four and sees no reason why he shouldn't do everything a grown-up can - in this case I only really had to intervene because I didn't want the dead batteries getting muddled up with the new ones! Anyway, as I said, Eldest is also now finding confidence to do things for himself - eg he showers himself now - and today he made his own Ready Brek. I know, he's ten - some would say it's about time! But when you have a child who's happy to let you wait on them (most often a male thing), and you have younger children who need you to still do things, you get used to just doing it all. Anyway, all three are out there right now making their own sandwiches. I'm not used to that yet - it makes me feel bit guilty - but I know it's a good skill for them to learn - and even Middle (who is usually really happy to let me do everything for him) likes making his own sandwiches. I just need to bite my tongue a bit - after all, does it really matter if the butter dish looks like a grenade has gone off inside it?
Thinking about it, I guess the whole parenting (and therefore Home Educating) process is a balance of increasingly backing-off while they find their feet, while still being constantly as present as always, ready to mop up spills, comfort the disappointed, and cheer them on as they give it another go... it could be a bit sad if it weren't for the fact that I get so many cuddles, kisses, and general joy along the way...
Still, the lovely thing is, we'll be able to get back to it next week. It's not like school half-term holidays when I always used to look forward to having a rest but then the week flashed past in a whirl of 'must-do' activities, cramming in as much neglected housework, family outings and visits to friends as we possibly could, leaving us as tired, if not more tired, than we started!
Anyway, in amongst all my head-down-must-get-this-finished-ness of this week so far, there have been some absolute gems that I wanted to share. As most HEd'ors discover at some point, when the 'primary educator' is removed, the learners don't fall into chaos as they would in a classroom setting where they rely on the grown-up to tell them what to do - no, they just adapt; they carry on learning in their own way, finding out what they want to find out for themselves. Sometimes I think seasons of being prevented from helping/ educating/ interfering (!) are a really good thing as they allow us to see how resourceful our children really are. Mine have been drawing, designing, doing workbooks, reading LOTS, watching fascinating documentaries (by preference over Spongebob & pals!). Youngest turned himself into a tiger by use of a red felt pen (non-washable!) Middle has crafter paper planes and other paper models, they have created codes, made up games with each other, and so much more that I can't remember (this is why I try to blog more often - if I leave it more than a day or two I forget all the 'wow' moments). Oh, and on Monday Eldest finally got his wish to get on Minecraft. You know, I tried to make sense of it, I really did, but no matter how many lovely patient people tried to explain it to me, all my brain could take in was blah blah minecraft blah blah server blah single player blah classic blah blah. The website wasn't much help either - in the end I decided it was easier to pay the £20 (just under) and just set him up as a single player until we've worked the rest out so he can play safely with friends. Anyway, he's loving it - and it is causing his brain to learn new ways of thinking and strategising, so all is good for now. His joy at getting Minecraft for himself may well have been the contributing factor behind my lovely start to the day yesterday...
I was about to come downstairs from getting Youngest up, when Eldest called upstairs, "not yet, Mummy - I am making a surprise for you". When I was allowed downstairs shortly after, I was ushered into the front room where Eldest and Middle assumed the "ta-da" position, pointing towards the armchair and the table next to it...
As if that weren't enough from my two biggest boys (Eldest had no sweets so Middle had freely and generously donated some from his, as well as his favourite hedgehog toy for me to cuddle), Eldest had also emptied the dishwasher without needing to be reminded AND tidied up a huge pile of mess that was on the sofa in the lounge! All for me...! Unsolicited...! Now, marshmallows in chocolate and sweets for breakfast aren't really my thing (not that I told them that of course), but oh boy, the love that went into that sacrificial surprise - well, I've been floating on the thought of it ever since. I have filed it carefully at the forefront of my memory to hold on to next time Eldest gets a bit hyper or pre-teenish! I have such sweet boys... :)
Eldest really is growing, and showing signs of wanting to do more things for himself. I am used to Youngest being Mr "I can do it BY MYSELF" - such as just now when he ran into the study having taken the batteries out of his camera & telling me it needed new ones. When I mentioned I would have a look in a minute, he decided a minute was too long to wait, so immediately went to get the batteries for himself, opened the packaging and was about to insert them without assistance. I think I'm equal parts stressed and proud about the fact that he is only four and sees no reason why he shouldn't do everything a grown-up can - in this case I only really had to intervene because I didn't want the dead batteries getting muddled up with the new ones! Anyway, as I said, Eldest is also now finding confidence to do things for himself - eg he showers himself now - and today he made his own Ready Brek. I know, he's ten - some would say it's about time! But when you have a child who's happy to let you wait on them (most often a male thing), and you have younger children who need you to still do things, you get used to just doing it all. Anyway, all three are out there right now making their own sandwiches. I'm not used to that yet - it makes me feel bit guilty - but I know it's a good skill for them to learn - and even Middle (who is usually really happy to let me do everything for him) likes making his own sandwiches. I just need to bite my tongue a bit - after all, does it really matter if the butter dish looks like a grenade has gone off inside it?
Thinking about it, I guess the whole parenting (and therefore Home Educating) process is a balance of increasingly backing-off while they find their feet, while still being constantly as present as always, ready to mop up spills, comfort the disappointed, and cheer them on as they give it another go... it could be a bit sad if it weren't for the fact that I get so many cuddles, kisses, and general joy along the way...
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