We've been home educating for 18 months now! The longer we do it, the less inclined I am to ever pursue any other form of education... we just love it! Growth does inevitably bring change though, including one that I've been putting off...
It was suggested to me several months ago that I don't really qualify as a novice any more, having spent over a year pondering, wobbling, questioning, vacillating, learning, retracing steps, challenging, growing... and I have to admit that I am significantly more confident now than when we started. I am in no way an expert, but despite my attachment to the blog that saw us through our most formative early years, I reluctantly accept that "Home Ed Novice" is a little misleading to anyone who hasn't come across my lil blog before now, and who hasn't followed our journey with us.
SO.
I am putting my beloved little Novice blog to bed. I will not close it - all blog posts will stay put as long as Blogger/ Blogspot and the internet endure. I don't feel right simply renaming it, just in case future novices ever search for blog posts on what the first months of HE are like... but I am starting a new blog, not very imaginatively called "Diary of a Home Ed Family". Hopefully it is easy enough to find. With huge thanks to the wonderful Lisa of An Ordinary Life (one of my very favourite Home Ed blogs), I have added a tab at the top of whichever blog you are in, so should you want to flip to the other, all you have to do is just click on the tab! So clever! Let me know if it works...?
For now though - huge love and thanks to everyone who has joined us on our journey - and special thanks to those of you who have been kind enough to take the time to comment - you have no idea how much you have encouraged me! Here's hoping for every success for your family and mine as we start the next chapter together!
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Sunday, 1 September 2013
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
This is our Home Ed Style
There's a verse in the Bible that says "As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." I have felt like that lately regarding the so-called autonomy v structure debate. I say so-called because as said often before, I do not believe that the two are mutually exclusive - but anyhow... Despite my conviction of the best approach for us, I have still been periodically vacillating, pondering, dithering and just plain running round in circles on the subject in my head, which is totally foolish because deep down I know what works for us and there is no need to go wobbling off on tangents, wondering if it would be better to do it another way. The debate in my head is as messy and does me as much benefit as a dog returning to its vomit. As I said in The good, the bad and the funny, it is one of the few drawbacks of being part of an active online community. I love that Home Ed'ors are an opinionated lot: we need to be, to go against the flow of mainstream education. But sometimes the opinions are expressed with as much subtlety as a steam-roller, and that is not good when despite being opinionated, we can also feel vulnerable, stuck out there on a pioneering limb (sorry for the shocking mixing of metaphors there - just shows how messy my head gets over this issue).
A good friend has told me that she has felt real pressure from the 'structured' branch of HE - that she with her autonomous style feels judged for being lazy and not taking her children's education seriously. I was amazed by this revelation. I have only ever felt pressure from the 'Autonomous' branch that if you have any structure at all, you risk ruining your child's freedom and love of learning and are effectively little better than a dictator/ imprisoner. Of course, both perceived judgements are probably much more to do with our own insecurities than any actual person's opinion - otherwise an opinion wouldn't bother either of us.
Anyway, you get the picture: me on the one hand confident that I know what is best for me and mine, but on the other hand trying to swat away irritating and persistent niggles of "but what if you should be more ....., or less ....." (those dratted 'shoulds' again!). This could be one reason why I have been struggling to blog regularly lately... I've been pestered by 'shoulds'. They may be tiny, but in enough volume the buzz they create in your head can make it very difficult to think lucidly.
So when I came across a couple of blog posts recently, it was like a deep breath of fresh air - or to continue the theme, like a giant pair of pink fluffy earmuffs, blocking out the buzzing.
First was a post from a blog that I read often - it's one of my favourites that I relate well to and am always inspired by: An Ordinary Life. One bit in particular resonated with me, when one of the girls concerned made some new friends and was telling them about her home education, saying,
"I told them how I do an hour or two learning at the table and then spend the rest of the day playing, either outside, watching the telly or whatever I want (which includes arts, crafts and so many other things). I told them that science is mostly experiments."I LOVED that summary - it sounded just like HE used to look here when everything was flowing nicely. (This year has had a few interruptions and we haven't fully got back into the flow since)
The second blog post was from The Organized Unschooler - oh, how I love this lady already. She - like me - is drawn to the ideals of unschooling. BUT she - like me - has a pathological need to organise. AND - oh joy - she has married them both when it comes to Home Education. I love it. It is OK for me to be making plans, drawing up curricula, having ideas and suggestions and dreams when it comes to what my boys learn. And it is OK for them to not necessarily be interested, and have ideas of their own. I probably require a little more of the children than this lovely blogger, but that's OK - I'm not trying to copy the Organized Unschooler, just be inspired by her!
Both of those blog posts combined to reboost my confidence. As said in my previous post, I do not have to align with any one style of Home Ed (apart from maybe the 'making it up as I go along' one). So if you out there are in the middle, needing a confidence boost - or just interested in how one family does it, this is our style (which we have resumed this week, bolstered by the encouragement of some very fabulous home educating bloggers out there):
We have some parent-led aspects: I do ask the boys to do about 30 minutes (less for Youngest) of Maths Whizz or Reading Eggs every morning Monday - Thursday (though this morning they asked to do workbooks instead... fine by me!). Fridays we play a board game in place of the online curricula. Most mornings we have a Bible story and chat - I forgot this morning, but they soon reminded me! And then the rest of the mornings are a mixture of Mummy's ideas and their own - but all depending on their level of interest. If they have a lapbook (topic work) on the go I like them to do some work on it a couple of times a week - but some weeks they do none, some weeks they complete an entire book, depending on their enthusiasm. I like to get an art project, some baking, science experiment etc in at least once a week (note: I like to - it's not written in stone. It depends on their interest and whatever else is going on that week). If they want to watch TV in the mornings, we try to make it learning programmes - likewise computer games. My aim is always to leave the afternoons free for plenty of exploration, playing, visiting friends etc.
So there it is! I don't think you can put a label on that, but that's us: that's how we do it - for now at least. I daresay I will revisit the old chestnuts of structure, autonomy, confusion, shoulds etc more often than is helpful - but I guess that comes with the territory of being a parent trying to make sure they're doing the best for their children. For now I feel like I just needed to get it down on "paper". I hope it helps you to read it - it certainly helped me to write it!
A good friend has told me that she has felt real pressure from the 'structured' branch of HE - that she with her autonomous style feels judged for being lazy and not taking her children's education seriously. I was amazed by this revelation. I have only ever felt pressure from the 'Autonomous' branch that if you have any structure at all, you risk ruining your child's freedom and love of learning and are effectively little better than a dictator/ imprisoner. Of course, both perceived judgements are probably much more to do with our own insecurities than any actual person's opinion - otherwise an opinion wouldn't bother either of us.
Anyway, you get the picture: me on the one hand confident that I know what is best for me and mine, but on the other hand trying to swat away irritating and persistent niggles of "but what if you should be more ....., or less ....." (those dratted 'shoulds' again!). This could be one reason why I have been struggling to blog regularly lately... I've been pestered by 'shoulds'. They may be tiny, but in enough volume the buzz they create in your head can make it very difficult to think lucidly.
So when I came across a couple of blog posts recently, it was like a deep breath of fresh air - or to continue the theme, like a giant pair of pink fluffy earmuffs, blocking out the buzzing.
First was a post from a blog that I read often - it's one of my favourites that I relate well to and am always inspired by: An Ordinary Life. One bit in particular resonated with me, when one of the girls concerned made some new friends and was telling them about her home education, saying,
"I told them how I do an hour or two learning at the table and then spend the rest of the day playing, either outside, watching the telly or whatever I want (which includes arts, crafts and so many other things). I told them that science is mostly experiments."I LOVED that summary - it sounded just like HE used to look here when everything was flowing nicely. (This year has had a few interruptions and we haven't fully got back into the flow since)
The second blog post was from The Organized Unschooler - oh, how I love this lady already. She - like me - is drawn to the ideals of unschooling. BUT she - like me - has a pathological need to organise. AND - oh joy - she has married them both when it comes to Home Education. I love it. It is OK for me to be making plans, drawing up curricula, having ideas and suggestions and dreams when it comes to what my boys learn. And it is OK for them to not necessarily be interested, and have ideas of their own. I probably require a little more of the children than this lovely blogger, but that's OK - I'm not trying to copy the Organized Unschooler, just be inspired by her!
Both of those blog posts combined to reboost my confidence. As said in my previous post, I do not have to align with any one style of Home Ed (apart from maybe the 'making it up as I go along' one). So if you out there are in the middle, needing a confidence boost - or just interested in how one family does it, this is our style (which we have resumed this week, bolstered by the encouragement of some very fabulous home educating bloggers out there):
We have some parent-led aspects: I do ask the boys to do about 30 minutes (less for Youngest) of Maths Whizz or Reading Eggs every morning Monday - Thursday (though this morning they asked to do workbooks instead... fine by me!). Fridays we play a board game in place of the online curricula. Most mornings we have a Bible story and chat - I forgot this morning, but they soon reminded me! And then the rest of the mornings are a mixture of Mummy's ideas and their own - but all depending on their level of interest. If they have a lapbook (topic work) on the go I like them to do some work on it a couple of times a week - but some weeks they do none, some weeks they complete an entire book, depending on their enthusiasm. I like to get an art project, some baking, science experiment etc in at least once a week (note: I like to - it's not written in stone. It depends on their interest and whatever else is going on that week). If they want to watch TV in the mornings, we try to make it learning programmes - likewise computer games. My aim is always to leave the afternoons free for plenty of exploration, playing, visiting friends etc.
So there it is! I don't think you can put a label on that, but that's us: that's how we do it - for now at least. I daresay I will revisit the old chestnuts of structure, autonomy, confusion, shoulds etc more often than is helpful - but I guess that comes with the territory of being a parent trying to make sure they're doing the best for their children. For now I feel like I just needed to get it down on "paper". I hope it helps you to read it - it certainly helped me to write it!
Monday, 1 July 2013
The Good, the Bad, and the Funny
Back after another absence... this time because we have just been away for a week, camping at a really lovely site in Weymouth, where a great time was had by all! I'm feeling quite refreshed (which was much needed) although the washing machine hasn't rested since we got back on Saturday.
I was wondering what to blog about - and if indeed I feel the need to keep going. I don't feel so much of a "home ed novice" any more. Not that I'm an expert in any sense of the word, but I do feel I have a bit more confidence on what we're doing now & a bit less of a need to write down all my thought processes.
Still, my attention has been grabbed by a few things this week, that I felt the need to comment on. Some good, some not so good, and some just amusing. While on holiday I got chatting with a lovely lady, bonding over the fact that she also had three boys. Hers were closer in age (all preschool), and she asked how the age range was for us (6.5 years between Eldest and Youngest). I said that the biggest challenge was home educating, finding things that they would all enjoy, but somehow it works (sneaky me - slipping it into the conversation: I like to spread awareness of home education as a viable way to raise children where possible). Anyway, we had a lovely chat about it - she seemed really interested, and shared a lot of concerns about school as provoked by her sister's current experience teaching in primary school.
So that in itself was lovely - that I got to share with her all the positive things about home education: my children are happier, healthier, somehow managing to learn and grow at an impressive rate, despite our unhurried approach. We are all less stressed, appreciating the chance to stop and 'smell the roses' - or just appreciate whatever detail grabs us at the time. Looking back I do ask myself how I managed to keep up the pace of life that we were living in before. It didn't do any of us any good, with hindsight. The lovely thing about talking to someone new to home education is that you realise afresh just how good Home Ed is. And that's important, because I have to confess that before we went on holiday I was feeling a bit jaded. Not by home education in itself, but tired of one of the few negative aspects of being part of the Home Ed community online.
You see, despite the fact that I am more secure in who we are and what works best for us, there does appear to be this need in some online groups to pigeonhole people. And if you know me, you'll know that I detest labelling people for the sake of it. I can't abide being shoved in a box by people who don't know us, so they feel they can judge whether they approve or dislike our approach. It's my own fault I suppose - I feed it by trying to describe what we do in an attempt to help people - that's kind of what this blog is about, let alone chatting on groups. But anyway we're too structured to be "Autonomous", so I am told, and apparently we're too relaxed to be "Structured". If it weren't for this incessant need by others to define, I couldn't care less. I don't want to be in either gang, as both can be pretty intolerant at times. However. It's not as big a deal as you might think reading this now - it just got a bit wearing at the time. And that is another reason why I have been questioning the need to blog: do I want to keep trying (and failing) to explain ourselves to others when actually I don't think there is a need?
But then I came across this link, the Ten Most Annoying Homeschool Questions Ever Asked. It made me chuckle (just don't take it too seriously, OK?) - and the bit I found the most amusing was in the comments at the end, where someone said that they were asked how their children would learn to stand in line if they didn't go to school! At first I found it such a bizarre thing to focus on, but on reading further it spawned a whole new conversation on the validity of the question - people saying this had been a real issue for them, others saying it was never a problem - and all sorts of different perspectives in between. It was so refreshing, and reminded me again of the joy of Home Education: the variety of individual experiences. There is no one right way to do it, because there is no one type of child. There is absolutely no point getting caught up in a "Autonomous v Structure" battle, because some children and/ or parents need structure while others work better without. Actually as I have said before, I believe it is possible to be autonomous and structured, if structure is what the child chooses - and many do - but that's another can of worms. Some people like the security of a label, and far be it from me to remove that from them. Wanting to belong/ attach yourself to a particular philosophy is fine of course, and I admire those people who have such clear and strong convictions that they can clearly define who they are and what they want. It's just not me. Home Ed wasn't something we had a firm conviction about from day one of parenthood. I was eventually convinced that it was right for us to do, and I knew there had to be a better way than what the boys and I had experienced in school - but the rest is a glorious kind of winging it - soaring like birds on the thermals of self-motivated interest, and at other times coming down to earth to rest and fulfil the more prosaic needs. I am simply committed to doing whatever I believe to be best for the boys at any given time. I don't think you can stick a label on that. It is all just home education, and regardless of style, every parent who does it because they have their children's best interest at heart is doing just great in my books.
I was wondering what to blog about - and if indeed I feel the need to keep going. I don't feel so much of a "home ed novice" any more. Not that I'm an expert in any sense of the word, but I do feel I have a bit more confidence on what we're doing now & a bit less of a need to write down all my thought processes.
Still, my attention has been grabbed by a few things this week, that I felt the need to comment on. Some good, some not so good, and some just amusing. While on holiday I got chatting with a lovely lady, bonding over the fact that she also had three boys. Hers were closer in age (all preschool), and she asked how the age range was for us (6.5 years between Eldest and Youngest). I said that the biggest challenge was home educating, finding things that they would all enjoy, but somehow it works (sneaky me - slipping it into the conversation: I like to spread awareness of home education as a viable way to raise children where possible). Anyway, we had a lovely chat about it - she seemed really interested, and shared a lot of concerns about school as provoked by her sister's current experience teaching in primary school.
So that in itself was lovely - that I got to share with her all the positive things about home education: my children are happier, healthier, somehow managing to learn and grow at an impressive rate, despite our unhurried approach. We are all less stressed, appreciating the chance to stop and 'smell the roses' - or just appreciate whatever detail grabs us at the time. Looking back I do ask myself how I managed to keep up the pace of life that we were living in before. It didn't do any of us any good, with hindsight. The lovely thing about talking to someone new to home education is that you realise afresh just how good Home Ed is. And that's important, because I have to confess that before we went on holiday I was feeling a bit jaded. Not by home education in itself, but tired of one of the few negative aspects of being part of the Home Ed community online.
You see, despite the fact that I am more secure in who we are and what works best for us, there does appear to be this need in some online groups to pigeonhole people. And if you know me, you'll know that I detest labelling people for the sake of it. I can't abide being shoved in a box by people who don't know us, so they feel they can judge whether they approve or dislike our approach. It's my own fault I suppose - I feed it by trying to describe what we do in an attempt to help people - that's kind of what this blog is about, let alone chatting on groups. But anyway we're too structured to be "Autonomous", so I am told, and apparently we're too relaxed to be "Structured". If it weren't for this incessant need by others to define, I couldn't care less. I don't want to be in either gang, as both can be pretty intolerant at times. However. It's not as big a deal as you might think reading this now - it just got a bit wearing at the time. And that is another reason why I have been questioning the need to blog: do I want to keep trying (and failing) to explain ourselves to others when actually I don't think there is a need?
But then I came across this link, the Ten Most Annoying Homeschool Questions Ever Asked. It made me chuckle (just don't take it too seriously, OK?) - and the bit I found the most amusing was in the comments at the end, where someone said that they were asked how their children would learn to stand in line if they didn't go to school! At first I found it such a bizarre thing to focus on, but on reading further it spawned a whole new conversation on the validity of the question - people saying this had been a real issue for them, others saying it was never a problem - and all sorts of different perspectives in between. It was so refreshing, and reminded me again of the joy of Home Education: the variety of individual experiences. There is no one right way to do it, because there is no one type of child. There is absolutely no point getting caught up in a "Autonomous v Structure" battle, because some children and/ or parents need structure while others work better without. Actually as I have said before, I believe it is possible to be autonomous and structured, if structure is what the child chooses - and many do - but that's another can of worms. Some people like the security of a label, and far be it from me to remove that from them. Wanting to belong/ attach yourself to a particular philosophy is fine of course, and I admire those people who have such clear and strong convictions that they can clearly define who they are and what they want. It's just not me. Home Ed wasn't something we had a firm conviction about from day one of parenthood. I was eventually convinced that it was right for us to do, and I knew there had to be a better way than what the boys and I had experienced in school - but the rest is a glorious kind of winging it - soaring like birds on the thermals of self-motivated interest, and at other times coming down to earth to rest and fulfil the more prosaic needs. I am simply committed to doing whatever I believe to be best for the boys at any given time. I don't think you can stick a label on that. It is all just home education, and regardless of style, every parent who does it because they have their children's best interest at heart is doing just great in my books.
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
Seasonal Home Ed
It is just SOOOO lovely to have some decent weather! I had almost forgotten the joyful sounds of children playing happily (well, mostly) in the garden, a chorus of birds twittering in the trees as if to say "at last, the snow has gone!"; trees rustling in the breeze (and the occasional back-door slammed shut by the wind where we forgot to close it... imagine feeling warm enough to forget to close a door!).
There are more signs too... in our garden have appeared not so much a crowd as a little group of golden daffodils (and the beginnings of some tulip shoots) - planted by Middle and myself back in September when the bare soil was already making us feel forlorn (see 'All Learning Together').
And two runs have appeared on the patio and decking, complete with snug little houses and bowl of food as Midge and Squidge, our rescued hedgehogs (see 'Feeling Prickly'), have at last woken up from their hibernation and have begun the 'soft release process' to acclimatise them to the outdoor sounds and smells again, before we set them completely free (probably feeling more than slightly proud that we have saved two little hedgehog lives that certainly would not have survived this long harsh winter at the weight they were when we found them).
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
Oh, and there are signs that the nest box may - I repeat may - be being considered as a potential place to raise a little avian family. Admittedly, I was hoping for the sight of something a bit more attractive by now than a few straggly feathers and lots of bird-poop, but friends of mine in the know insist that this is a good sign, so here's hoping... It seems that everything is late this year because winter dragged on for so long!
Lovely friends of ours with a pond have said we can have some of their frogspawn that has appeared this week to study (we have a tank of rainwater in the garden to put them in... if I can just keep Middle and Youngest from emptying it to use in their waterfights). Even the frogs are late this year - last year the local ponds were bubbling with spawn at the very beginning of March!
.JPG)
As most of the boys' friends have gone back to school (the availability of friends to play with being a major contributory factor in our decision to ease off the structured part of our learning over the school holidays), I was thinking of gearing back up to some online curricula etc again... and we will, I'm sure (especially now we can actually get into the study again). But I have to say - it's just so lovely being able to go outdoors, that I can tell there will be quite a lot of that going on for a good while.
One thing I have really learned over our first year of HE is that it really does flow with the seasons. We didn't spot it so much in our first term as we were settling in and establishing the very real value of deschooling. Then in the Autumn we definitely noticed that gradually our HE friends seemed to be settling down and spending more time at home, ourselves included - the outdoor trips were fewer and further between; there was much more of a feel of snuggling down, staying indoors and having cosy family times... accompanied by lots of home-baking and wintry glittery crafts! It was lovely, snuggly and special.
Then at the beginning of this year there was a noticeable restlessness, as though we were ready to tackle something new - a feeling that being indoors had got a bit stale. Of course, much as we in our centrally-heated house wanted to be up and about, starting new adventures, the hedgehogs in the shed (and the snow on the ground) showed clearly that actually the hibernation season was far from over - so reluctantly we stayed at home for longer than I think we would have done otherwise. Yes, there were plenty of snowball fights and sledging trips, but still... that was a LONG cold season. Happily for us, our need for something new was fulfilled largely by our discovery of lapbooks - lovely new projects to get our teeth into and make ourselves feel productive.
Which brings us to Easter - and now... a very late-starting spring, and boy, are we ready for it! So I am really happy at the thought of plenty of time outdoors, just experiencing nature and playing in parks. We will keep up the online curricula; we do have a project or two that we fancy exploring - but we are going to make the most of this season and enjoy it as much as we can!
There are more signs too... in our garden have appeared not so much a crowd as a little group of golden daffodils (and the beginnings of some tulip shoots) - planted by Middle and myself back in September when the bare soil was already making us feel forlorn (see 'All Learning Together').
And two runs have appeared on the patio and decking, complete with snug little houses and bowl of food as Midge and Squidge, our rescued hedgehogs (see 'Feeling Prickly'), have at last woken up from their hibernation and have begun the 'soft release process' to acclimatise them to the outdoor sounds and smells again, before we set them completely free (probably feeling more than slightly proud that we have saved two little hedgehog lives that certainly would not have survived this long harsh winter at the weight they were when we found them).
.JPG)
Midge's den (run very kindly donated by a lovely friend) - he's been transferred outdoors from the shed today
.JPG)
Midge curled up inside his house (you can just see his spikes through the hay... I'll try to get a decent photo before I release them)
.JPG)
Squidge's run, put together today - it's a lot cheaper and flimsier than the donated run, so I'm just hoping she won't find a way to escape. She was in the other run for almost a week already though, so if she does escape at least she's started getting used to being outdoors)
Oh, and there are signs that the nest box may - I repeat may - be being considered as a potential place to raise a little avian family. Admittedly, I was hoping for the sight of something a bit more attractive by now than a few straggly feathers and lots of bird-poop, but friends of mine in the know insist that this is a good sign, so here's hoping... It seems that everything is late this year because winter dragged on for so long!
outside... inside
Lovely friends of ours with a pond have said we can have some of their frogspawn that has appeared this week to study (we have a tank of rainwater in the garden to put them in... if I can just keep Middle and Youngest from emptying it to use in their waterfights). Even the frogs are late this year - last year the local ponds were bubbling with spawn at the very beginning of March!
.JPG)
getting the tank ready for the frogspawn
As most of the boys' friends have gone back to school (the availability of friends to play with being a major contributory factor in our decision to ease off the structured part of our learning over the school holidays), I was thinking of gearing back up to some online curricula etc again... and we will, I'm sure (especially now we can actually get into the study again). But I have to say - it's just so lovely being able to go outdoors, that I can tell there will be quite a lot of that going on for a good while.
One thing I have really learned over our first year of HE is that it really does flow with the seasons. We didn't spot it so much in our first term as we were settling in and establishing the very real value of deschooling. Then in the Autumn we definitely noticed that gradually our HE friends seemed to be settling down and spending more time at home, ourselves included - the outdoor trips were fewer and further between; there was much more of a feel of snuggling down, staying indoors and having cosy family times... accompanied by lots of home-baking and wintry glittery crafts! It was lovely, snuggly and special.
Then at the beginning of this year there was a noticeable restlessness, as though we were ready to tackle something new - a feeling that being indoors had got a bit stale. Of course, much as we in our centrally-heated house wanted to be up and about, starting new adventures, the hedgehogs in the shed (and the snow on the ground) showed clearly that actually the hibernation season was far from over - so reluctantly we stayed at home for longer than I think we would have done otherwise. Yes, there were plenty of snowball fights and sledging trips, but still... that was a LONG cold season. Happily for us, our need for something new was fulfilled largely by our discovery of lapbooks - lovely new projects to get our teeth into and make ourselves feel productive.
Which brings us to Easter - and now... a very late-starting spring, and boy, are we ready for it! So I am really happy at the thought of plenty of time outdoors, just experiencing nature and playing in parks. We will keep up the online curricula; we do have a project or two that we fancy exploring - but we are going to make the most of this season and enjoy it as much as we can!
Monday, 8 April 2013
Peaceful Parenting
I need to mention that there appears to be a movement called 'peaceful parenting', but until very recently I was unaware of it. Until I educate myself on the movement, when I talk about peaceful parenting I am solely referring to my attempts to parent my children more peacefully!
As mentioned in my last post, I have taken on the Orange Rhino challenge, basically to stop yelling at my kids (Orange Rhino blog here). I have joined a small group of awesome, honest and brave ladies who have also taken on the challenge, and it is largely with them in mind that I'm writing this post... and who knows? There may well be others out there who are encouraged by it too.
So, sadly and frustratingly I have not held my peace since my last blog. But the occasions when I did lose it have been teaching me valuable lessons that I want to write down. It's not that I didn't know any of it before, but the more I have been paying attention to this issue, the more clearly I am seeing these things...
1) Most conflict arises because of a clash of wills: I want the children to do something that they don't want to do. Often it is something reasonable, like for them to stop running in a shop, or to eat their vegetables. Sometimes it is just something that makes my life easier, like them turning down the volume on their nintendo, or passing something to me. However, realising that I am asking them to do something they don't necessarily want to do has made it easier for me to see it from their point of view - to give them a little longer to answer, or just finish what they were doing before they respond - and rather than getting annoyed with them if they complain, acknowledge that what I'm asking is inconvenient and help them to work through their attitude to a peaceful one. Ultimately this one is about respect. It is an easy trap to fall into seeing our children as extensions of our selves, who should just do what we say. But they are not - they are their own people. Yes, our job is to help them grow and develop in healthy ways, but we can't and shouldn't try to "make them" do anything.
2) I am much more likely to 'lose it' if my attention is elsewhere. When my attention is given to the boys, focused on what they are doing, how they are feeling etc, everything goes a lot more smoothly. When I am distracted by my own stuff (usually something absorbing such as phone calls, reading a book, emails or facebook) I get irritated when the boys need my instant attention. Thinking about this, this is the reverse of the prior situation (me interrupting the boys) so I can see how irritating it is for them too! Anyway, it helps if I manage my expectations of what I can reasonably achieve during the day. Generally I do not make or receive phone calls, as we have long since established that Mummy on the phone is an instant cue for screaming, fighting and general chaos. Also I tend not to turn on my computer until after lunch as I do get fully absorbed, (and the mornings are more usually taken up with home ed work that needs my input). For example, today I switched my laptop on this morning as I had some things I had to sort out asap from being away. The boys were allowed to play on their nintendos, so I was confident that they would be equally absorbed, and once I finished with my online banking etc, I thought I'd try to catch up with a spot of blogging. As I wrote the above sentence about not making phone calls, Middle started complaining and whining. Immediately I could feel myself getting irritated & then realised the irony of writing about the need to give my children full attention, while not giving them my attention. So I forced myself to put down my train of thought and focus on Middle. His needs were quickly and easily sorted out, but that could so easily have escalated into my snapping at him - it kind of proves my point.
Of course, the draw back to this kind of full-on attention is that it can be pretty exhausting. Home Educators and stay-at-home mums are on duty all the time. As the children get older, the hope is that they will become more independent, but for now while at least some of mine are still small, it's all-emcompassing, and that's not easy. Don't get me wrong, it's totally worth it - and I'm not complaining. But just because we do the best thing for our children, it doesn't mean it doesn't cost us. And when energy levels are low it's much harder to manage our own emotional responses. This is why I protect my 'grown-up time' so much. I need that space in the evenings after all the children are in bed: to watch TV prgrammes of my choice, read a book uninterrupted, edit my photos, and generally just switch my brain off from full-on attending to the boys. It's not that I can't do my own thing while they're up: I just have to be prepared for them to need to interrupt at times - and I'm still learning how to peacefully switch attention from my stuff to theirs!
3) Shouting triggers more shouting. I know this sounds obvious, but it's made me think. When the boys were babies, their crying would generate immediate and physiological responses in me: the milk letdown was a pretty obvious one, as mothers who have breastfed will know - but also the stress levels would shoot sky high until I attended to my baby's needs. This is why men find it easier to let babies 'cry it out': they aren't hard-wired like we are to respond to a crying baby.
Well in the same way, if I hear my children shouting and screaming at each other, I have noticed that my stress levels rocket, and it makes me immediately want to shout at them to be quiet (as if that would work!) It's just a vicious cycle. They are only shouting at each other because they have learned that behaviour from me, so the only way I am going to help them stop shouting is to show them how. I have to respond peacefully & calmly if they are shouting. When my babies screamed I didn't scream back (tempting though it was to my sleep-deprived & addled brain on occasion) - no, I cuddled and soothed. Well if I could do it then, I can do it now - it's all about that moment taken to remind yourself that they're not the enemy: they just don't have the words/ ability to ask for their legitimate needs to be met.
4) Remember the reset button. If I have messed up and shouted at one of the boys or spoken unkindly, it obviously takes its toll on our relationship. I am learning not to beat myself up about it, but rather take a deep breath and start again... but not just reset my attitude - reset the relationship. The other day (the last time I yelled) there was a conflict between Eldest and myself. He had been in a fight with Youngest; they were both crying and needing comfort, but he was physically pushing me over in his insistence that I cuddled him first. It was hurting my back so I yelled at him to stop - and then he disappeared off, feeling rejected. It took me about five minutes to get up, make sure Youngest was OK, and calm down - and then I went to find Eldest. He was obviously upset still, and very quickly started shouting over what I was trying to say. All I could think was how hurt he must have been by my not hugging him back, so I managed to stay calm and explain. After a while cuddling, he was happy again, and went off to play. I do find though that after such upsets, even when peace has been restored, relationships can stil be a bit fragile and extra work is needed to stay close. Often the next morning, as children will process the day's emotions while they sleep - so I try really hard to find positive things to share in the mornings, to reset the day, in case they've woken up feeling unsettled. It just makes for such a lovely day when I remember to find a book to read together or a little snuggle and chat about what we'd like to do... or sometimes they like to look through our photobooks at pictures of us having fun together. whatever it is, the reset button is a deliberate (on my part) choice of positive time together, to remind them that all is well - and it's amazing how much easier the rest of the day seems to flow afterwards.
I have been learning a lot more besides these points, but these four things in particular I'm finding really helpful to keep in mind while I retrain myself. It's kind of risky sharing stuff this openly, but I've been so inspired by the Orange Rhino and her brutal honesty, that if I can help encourage even one person, then I figure it's got to be worth it.
And of course, for my boys it's totally worth it: four days in a row of not snapping, and hopefully many more to come. Happy days!
As mentioned in my last post, I have taken on the Orange Rhino challenge, basically to stop yelling at my kids (Orange Rhino blog here). I have joined a small group of awesome, honest and brave ladies who have also taken on the challenge, and it is largely with them in mind that I'm writing this post... and who knows? There may well be others out there who are encouraged by it too.
So, sadly and frustratingly I have not held my peace since my last blog. But the occasions when I did lose it have been teaching me valuable lessons that I want to write down. It's not that I didn't know any of it before, but the more I have been paying attention to this issue, the more clearly I am seeing these things...
1) Most conflict arises because of a clash of wills: I want the children to do something that they don't want to do. Often it is something reasonable, like for them to stop running in a shop, or to eat their vegetables. Sometimes it is just something that makes my life easier, like them turning down the volume on their nintendo, or passing something to me. However, realising that I am asking them to do something they don't necessarily want to do has made it easier for me to see it from their point of view - to give them a little longer to answer, or just finish what they were doing before they respond - and rather than getting annoyed with them if they complain, acknowledge that what I'm asking is inconvenient and help them to work through their attitude to a peaceful one. Ultimately this one is about respect. It is an easy trap to fall into seeing our children as extensions of our selves, who should just do what we say. But they are not - they are their own people. Yes, our job is to help them grow and develop in healthy ways, but we can't and shouldn't try to "make them" do anything.
2) I am much more likely to 'lose it' if my attention is elsewhere. When my attention is given to the boys, focused on what they are doing, how they are feeling etc, everything goes a lot more smoothly. When I am distracted by my own stuff (usually something absorbing such as phone calls, reading a book, emails or facebook) I get irritated when the boys need my instant attention. Thinking about this, this is the reverse of the prior situation (me interrupting the boys) so I can see how irritating it is for them too! Anyway, it helps if I manage my expectations of what I can reasonably achieve during the day. Generally I do not make or receive phone calls, as we have long since established that Mummy on the phone is an instant cue for screaming, fighting and general chaos. Also I tend not to turn on my computer until after lunch as I do get fully absorbed, (and the mornings are more usually taken up with home ed work that needs my input). For example, today I switched my laptop on this morning as I had some things I had to sort out asap from being away. The boys were allowed to play on their nintendos, so I was confident that they would be equally absorbed, and once I finished with my online banking etc, I thought I'd try to catch up with a spot of blogging. As I wrote the above sentence about not making phone calls, Middle started complaining and whining. Immediately I could feel myself getting irritated & then realised the irony of writing about the need to give my children full attention, while not giving them my attention. So I forced myself to put down my train of thought and focus on Middle. His needs were quickly and easily sorted out, but that could so easily have escalated into my snapping at him - it kind of proves my point.
Of course, the draw back to this kind of full-on attention is that it can be pretty exhausting. Home Educators and stay-at-home mums are on duty all the time. As the children get older, the hope is that they will become more independent, but for now while at least some of mine are still small, it's all-emcompassing, and that's not easy. Don't get me wrong, it's totally worth it - and I'm not complaining. But just because we do the best thing for our children, it doesn't mean it doesn't cost us. And when energy levels are low it's much harder to manage our own emotional responses. This is why I protect my 'grown-up time' so much. I need that space in the evenings after all the children are in bed: to watch TV prgrammes of my choice, read a book uninterrupted, edit my photos, and generally just switch my brain off from full-on attending to the boys. It's not that I can't do my own thing while they're up: I just have to be prepared for them to need to interrupt at times - and I'm still learning how to peacefully switch attention from my stuff to theirs!
3) Shouting triggers more shouting. I know this sounds obvious, but it's made me think. When the boys were babies, their crying would generate immediate and physiological responses in me: the milk letdown was a pretty obvious one, as mothers who have breastfed will know - but also the stress levels would shoot sky high until I attended to my baby's needs. This is why men find it easier to let babies 'cry it out': they aren't hard-wired like we are to respond to a crying baby.
Well in the same way, if I hear my children shouting and screaming at each other, I have noticed that my stress levels rocket, and it makes me immediately want to shout at them to be quiet (as if that would work!) It's just a vicious cycle. They are only shouting at each other because they have learned that behaviour from me, so the only way I am going to help them stop shouting is to show them how. I have to respond peacefully & calmly if they are shouting. When my babies screamed I didn't scream back (tempting though it was to my sleep-deprived & addled brain on occasion) - no, I cuddled and soothed. Well if I could do it then, I can do it now - it's all about that moment taken to remind yourself that they're not the enemy: they just don't have the words/ ability to ask for their legitimate needs to be met.
4) Remember the reset button. If I have messed up and shouted at one of the boys or spoken unkindly, it obviously takes its toll on our relationship. I am learning not to beat myself up about it, but rather take a deep breath and start again... but not just reset my attitude - reset the relationship. The other day (the last time I yelled) there was a conflict between Eldest and myself. He had been in a fight with Youngest; they were both crying and needing comfort, but he was physically pushing me over in his insistence that I cuddled him first. It was hurting my back so I yelled at him to stop - and then he disappeared off, feeling rejected. It took me about five minutes to get up, make sure Youngest was OK, and calm down - and then I went to find Eldest. He was obviously upset still, and very quickly started shouting over what I was trying to say. All I could think was how hurt he must have been by my not hugging him back, so I managed to stay calm and explain. After a while cuddling, he was happy again, and went off to play. I do find though that after such upsets, even when peace has been restored, relationships can stil be a bit fragile and extra work is needed to stay close. Often the next morning, as children will process the day's emotions while they sleep - so I try really hard to find positive things to share in the mornings, to reset the day, in case they've woken up feeling unsettled. It just makes for such a lovely day when I remember to find a book to read together or a little snuggle and chat about what we'd like to do... or sometimes they like to look through our photobooks at pictures of us having fun together. whatever it is, the reset button is a deliberate (on my part) choice of positive time together, to remind them that all is well - and it's amazing how much easier the rest of the day seems to flow afterwards.
I have been learning a lot more besides these points, but these four things in particular I'm finding really helpful to keep in mind while I retrain myself. It's kind of risky sharing stuff this openly, but I've been so inspired by the Orange Rhino and her brutal honesty, that if I can help encourage even one person, then I figure it's got to be worth it.
And of course, for my boys it's totally worth it: four days in a row of not snapping, and hopefully many more to come. Happy days!
Monday, 25 March 2013
Oops
another week passed with no blogging... oops!
Last week was really busy - lots of lovely meets and other good stuff. Then of course this weekend saw the return of some serious snow, so everyone in the HE community has temporarily resumed hibernation. I do love that we can do that, by the way... so thankful for not having to get up even earlier to allow extra time on the school run for defrosting the car and getting everyone bundled up against the cold etc. Anyway, the hedgehogs obviously have it sussed... no sign of them emerging from hibernation yet - I should have known spring was still a way away: wild animals always seem so much better tuned in to the seasons than us!
Anyway, we've had a lovely 'snowed-in' pyjama day today: Reading Eggs followed by lapbooks followed by "Absolute Genius" (CBBC Programme about Vincent Van Gogh) followed by an attempt at painting some Easter cards. I won't post them here as we want them to be a surprise for the family members who receive them, but we had fun - and made a lot of mess!"
Our big news: the end of this week will mark our first anniversary since we left school and started our home ed journey. So much has changed in that year - mostly in my head as I have re-educated myself, but also in the boys' behaviour. Eldest has calmed down considerably, and my relationship is better with him, because I am less busy and have spent more time with him, and I feel I've got to know him again - we're able to focus on shared passions (eg wildlife) rather than stressing over his incomplete homework, and as we are together more I am much better able to spot when he is losing the ability to cope - so I can help him to apply 'calming-down' techniques more quickly. Middle has beome again the happy, affectionate, funny little boy that he was. His confidence has returned, and just recently I have been marvelling once more at how very bright he is - how quickly he grasps concepts etc. He had lost so much confidence that he totally believed he couldn't do anything. It's just such a blessing to see him restored to the little person he was created to be! Youngest has probably changed the least - but then he had only had two terms in preschool, where he quite enjoyed bossing the other children about (that's just how he is). I am glad we took him out as well though - we did wonder about letting him stay, but he is such a boisterous person, I'm sure there would have been conflict down the line if he had stayed... plus we felt that it was important for us as a whole family to be sharing the journey. It's a matter of pedagogy now: I totally believe the best way for my children to learn is at home (and out and about), following their own interests and passions, not in a 'one-education-fits-all' establishment. And Youngest is making good progress with his reading and motor skills - and is such a bundle of energy to have around, we really have no regrets. Nope, none at all.
I'm hoping to write a porper "First Ediversary" post soon, but we've got a lot on for the next couple of weeks, so we'll see. Either way, I'm really looking forward to the next year of Home Ed - I'm just so excited to see what it will bring us... and a year of experience under our belts means I have less trepidation entering the second year: I know it works, I know how fab it is, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Last week was really busy - lots of lovely meets and other good stuff. Then of course this weekend saw the return of some serious snow, so everyone in the HE community has temporarily resumed hibernation. I do love that we can do that, by the way... so thankful for not having to get up even earlier to allow extra time on the school run for defrosting the car and getting everyone bundled up against the cold etc. Anyway, the hedgehogs obviously have it sussed... no sign of them emerging from hibernation yet - I should have known spring was still a way away: wild animals always seem so much better tuned in to the seasons than us!
Anyway, we've had a lovely 'snowed-in' pyjama day today: Reading Eggs followed by lapbooks followed by "Absolute Genius" (CBBC Programme about Vincent Van Gogh) followed by an attempt at painting some Easter cards. I won't post them here as we want them to be a surprise for the family members who receive them, but we had fun - and made a lot of mess!"
Our big news: the end of this week will mark our first anniversary since we left school and started our home ed journey. So much has changed in that year - mostly in my head as I have re-educated myself, but also in the boys' behaviour. Eldest has calmed down considerably, and my relationship is better with him, because I am less busy and have spent more time with him, and I feel I've got to know him again - we're able to focus on shared passions (eg wildlife) rather than stressing over his incomplete homework, and as we are together more I am much better able to spot when he is losing the ability to cope - so I can help him to apply 'calming-down' techniques more quickly. Middle has beome again the happy, affectionate, funny little boy that he was. His confidence has returned, and just recently I have been marvelling once more at how very bright he is - how quickly he grasps concepts etc. He had lost so much confidence that he totally believed he couldn't do anything. It's just such a blessing to see him restored to the little person he was created to be! Youngest has probably changed the least - but then he had only had two terms in preschool, where he quite enjoyed bossing the other children about (that's just how he is). I am glad we took him out as well though - we did wonder about letting him stay, but he is such a boisterous person, I'm sure there would have been conflict down the line if he had stayed... plus we felt that it was important for us as a whole family to be sharing the journey. It's a matter of pedagogy now: I totally believe the best way for my children to learn is at home (and out and about), following their own interests and passions, not in a 'one-education-fits-all' establishment. And Youngest is making good progress with his reading and motor skills - and is such a bundle of energy to have around, we really have no regrets. Nope, none at all.
I'm hoping to write a porper "First Ediversary" post soon, but we've got a lot on for the next couple of weeks, so we'll see. Either way, I'm really looking forward to the next year of Home Ed - I'm just so excited to see what it will bring us... and a year of experience under our belts means I have less trepidation entering the second year: I know it works, I know how fab it is, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Monday, 11 March 2013
OK Days are Good
We had a real job to get going this morning. We had arranged to go and visit friends, so no chance of a pyjama day today - not that the boys minded in the slightest, for once. However, our usual routine seemed a bit stale today, so rather than nag them to do their 'work', when they finished their Reading Eggs(press) we had a day off lapbooking, and did some creating instead. I asked Youngest if there was an art project on my Pinterest board that he would like to try, and he chose a lion painting, originally posted by John Post - so we all happily sat down and mixed paints, chose brushes (it's SUCH a big deal to get the right brush!?) and got started. Youngest hadn't gone very far at all when he decided he'd rather do his own thing. "Are you experimenting?" I asked. His eyes lit up: "YES!", and he promptly splashed paint about, squished it between pages of paper etc, all the time checking that I could see how well his "experiment" was going... very cute. Eldest, Middle and I dutifully finished the project originally chosen by Youngest!
Eldest's Lion
Middle's 'Vampire Lion' (hence the red teeth)
Mummy's Lion
Youngest's 'Experiments' (above and below)
Middle decided that part of belonging to his club (based in the fort, now happily situated in their bedroom) was to involve a "taste test", where everyone tries four different items of food and rates them 1-5. He wanted to make all four items at once, but as they were all dessert items (that's my boy!), I persuaded him to spread it over four days. Today the boys wanted to make lemon and lime cheesecake from CBeebies 'I can cook', but as we had no limes, we did lemon and orange cheesecake instead. Unsurprisingly enough, I was the only one who really liked it (it was very citrus-y), but at least they tried it!
Over lunch we watched a DVD on explorers from our Now You Know-About DVD set. They were engrossed in the tales of Captain Cook (though Youngest wasn't impressed at his being killed by the natives) and Columbus. I've said it before and I'll say it again: we find TV can be sooo helpful when it comes to sparking new interests. Obviously we love books and I do strew them often - but I also love having the odd DVD up my sleeve for times when the boys feel the need to just veg out.
So today was OK! Of course, if you just go on what I've written above (the "edited higlights" so common to blogs), you could think "wow, they do so much, I wish we could do that well" - and I'm tempted to think that myself when re-reading. However, things have been a bit stressy here with various issues going on, and my patience level has definitely dropped. Today hasn't been all bluebirds tweeting and harmonious laughter... there was also a fair amount of runny noses, arguing in the car, freezing temperatures and loads of mess to clear up after the 'creating'! Anyway, just sayin': Our 'higlights' can look pretty impressive (and they do encourage me: after all, that's mainly why I blog, because it helps me to see written down what we're getting up to), but on balance, yes, today was OK.. and that's a good thing.
PS If you visit John Post's blog (follow link above), check out his "teaching philosophy" pdf - I found it quite inspiring.
Monday, 4 March 2013
Backlogged but Blossoming
I've got the most horredous blogging backlog! Last week was so busy and I was so tired, I kept meaning to write in my blog, but then something would come up (usually my pillow calling my name!)... so apologies to my lovely faithful readers who I have neglected shamefully. I hope you've all been having a good time! Anyway, for today I'm going to have to just give you the highlights of the past week, and then try harder to get back into a blogging rhythm
So we've still been carrying on in the same way: mostly child-led but with a few parent-led aspects. Middle has spent a lot of time recording videos and playing with effects on his kidizoom camera. He's also been just finding books and picking them up to read... more evidence of his increased confidence in his own ability These aren't the picture-books that he previously beleved he was restricted to, but older books like The Story of the Olympics that is well within his grasp, and even Bulging Brains that he would have completely ignored up until a few weeks ago! I still remember that in September he said he wanted to read "big books" like the ones Eldest and I read, and I was slightly baffled about the perceived block in his mind... I'm so happy for him that as per everything else in his life, it just took time with no pressure - and he has done it, by himself! He really is blossoming into the beautiful person he was created to be. Happy boy, happy Mummy!
Youngest has also been blossoming - he is starting to make more sense of the world around him, particularly regarding how the skills he has been learning (mostly on Reading Eggs) apply to everyday life. He has started to blend the letter sounds on labels of things in the kitchen cupboard, and titles on books and boxes around the house. In one sense, reading is such an abstract skill to learn, but it is one that it is very difficult to live without - and it's just lovely to see him applying that concept to life in general. He's also been learning everyday life skills... there's been a lot of wrestling with scissors and sellotape, buttons, zips and other things that I would usually ask if he wanted help with. To be fair, he usually says no anyway, he's such an independent little thing - but lately I have consciously held back from asking as I don't want him to get the message that I don't believe he can do it - and it does seem to have increased his confidence (if such a thing were possible)... or maybe it's just increased my awareness of what he can manage by himself!
Eldest has been enjoying a bit (OK a lot) of a nature documentary-fest on TV. Every now and then I catch mysef thinking he's "not doing anything", but that's ridiculous. It's well known within the family that if you want to know anything about undersea creatures (and an increasing number of other wildlife), we ask Eldest: he knows way more than any of the rest of us, and how does he know so much? simply because it's his favourite subject, so he absorbs like a sponge the information presented in books and on his beloved documentaries. It really is easy learning! Fortunately as we've gone on in our HE journey I'm getting better at recognising my illogical twitches (such as 'learning is supposed to involve hard study'), and am getting faster at silencing them before I try to make the boys conform to my old mental programming - yay! Oh and Eldest also found an electric circuit-maker that produces animal sounds - it was given to him a while ago, and he just found it and decided he wanted to have a go. I was glad he found it as it was amongst the things that were buried in piles in the study where we've been sorting out ready for our new shelf unit to arrive and be installed in the front room (much more accessible for spontaneous inspiration).
Of course, I was over-the-moon at a beautiful new storage unit (I feel like I've turned into Anne from Enid Blyton's 'Famous Five'), and the boys were even more happy when I told them they could have the four 6ft boxes that the unit was delivered in. First they got some paper and blue felt-pen to draw up some blue-prints (I didn't even know they knew what blue prints are.. gotta love HE) and then they commenced construction. I even managed NOT to tell them "don't waste the parcel tape" - see, Mummy's learning too! The only problem is, we now have a cardboard structure that almost entirely fills the front room, so I'm not going to get to enjoy the longed-for sense of order in my lounge for a while yet until the fort has been removed (I want to try and get it upstairs, but that's going to be a 2-person job at least!)
Other than that, the boys have also been continuing with Reading Eggspress (which they all really enjoy and more often that not, spend more time on it than their required thirty minutes) - and MathsWhizz (not quite so loved, but they have still been known to be on it for hours)... and the lapbooks are a continuing succes story. Middle is getting onto a roll, he's been thinking of loads of subjects that he wants to do, and seems to be really gathering momentum. It's just so lovely to see, given what he was like (depressed, anxious and zero-confidence) this time last year when we were about to start home educating. So today I'm going to leave you with Middle's completed "My Body" lapbook. He calls it the "biggest, most flappiest lapbook ever". Most of the flap templates inside came from Jodi Small's Human Body unit, on the HomeSchool Share website, and a few from the My Body unit by Friedrich, Franks and Sako. I actually prefer the bits that Middle does entirely by himself, they're so cute - but the HSS templates are awesome for when he runs out of ideas!
Happy Monday everyone! Have a lovely week - and I'll try to be back here sooner than I was last week!
So we've still been carrying on in the same way: mostly child-led but with a few parent-led aspects. Middle has spent a lot of time recording videos and playing with effects on his kidizoom camera. He's also been just finding books and picking them up to read... more evidence of his increased confidence in his own ability These aren't the picture-books that he previously beleved he was restricted to, but older books like The Story of the Olympics that is well within his grasp, and even Bulging Brains that he would have completely ignored up until a few weeks ago! I still remember that in September he said he wanted to read "big books" like the ones Eldest and I read, and I was slightly baffled about the perceived block in his mind... I'm so happy for him that as per everything else in his life, it just took time with no pressure - and he has done it, by himself! He really is blossoming into the beautiful person he was created to be. Happy boy, happy Mummy!
Youngest has also been blossoming - he is starting to make more sense of the world around him, particularly regarding how the skills he has been learning (mostly on Reading Eggs) apply to everyday life. He has started to blend the letter sounds on labels of things in the kitchen cupboard, and titles on books and boxes around the house. In one sense, reading is such an abstract skill to learn, but it is one that it is very difficult to live without - and it's just lovely to see him applying that concept to life in general. He's also been learning everyday life skills... there's been a lot of wrestling with scissors and sellotape, buttons, zips and other things that I would usually ask if he wanted help with. To be fair, he usually says no anyway, he's such an independent little thing - but lately I have consciously held back from asking as I don't want him to get the message that I don't believe he can do it - and it does seem to have increased his confidence (if such a thing were possible)... or maybe it's just increased my awareness of what he can manage by himself!
Eldest has been enjoying a bit (OK a lot) of a nature documentary-fest on TV. Every now and then I catch mysef thinking he's "not doing anything", but that's ridiculous. It's well known within the family that if you want to know anything about undersea creatures (and an increasing number of other wildlife), we ask Eldest: he knows way more than any of the rest of us, and how does he know so much? simply because it's his favourite subject, so he absorbs like a sponge the information presented in books and on his beloved documentaries. It really is easy learning! Fortunately as we've gone on in our HE journey I'm getting better at recognising my illogical twitches (such as 'learning is supposed to involve hard study'), and am getting faster at silencing them before I try to make the boys conform to my old mental programming - yay! Oh and Eldest also found an electric circuit-maker that produces animal sounds - it was given to him a while ago, and he just found it and decided he wanted to have a go. I was glad he found it as it was amongst the things that were buried in piles in the study where we've been sorting out ready for our new shelf unit to arrive and be installed in the front room (much more accessible for spontaneous inspiration).
Of course, I was over-the-moon at a beautiful new storage unit (I feel like I've turned into Anne from Enid Blyton's 'Famous Five'), and the boys were even more happy when I told them they could have the four 6ft boxes that the unit was delivered in. First they got some paper and blue felt-pen to draw up some blue-prints (I didn't even know they knew what blue prints are.. gotta love HE) and then they commenced construction. I even managed NOT to tell them "don't waste the parcel tape" - see, Mummy's learning too! The only problem is, we now have a cardboard structure that almost entirely fills the front room, so I'm not going to get to enjoy the longed-for sense of order in my lounge for a while yet until the fort has been removed (I want to try and get it upstairs, but that's going to be a 2-person job at least!)
Other than that, the boys have also been continuing with Reading Eggspress (which they all really enjoy and more often that not, spend more time on it than their required thirty minutes) - and MathsWhizz (not quite so loved, but they have still been known to be on it for hours)... and the lapbooks are a continuing succes story. Middle is getting onto a roll, he's been thinking of loads of subjects that he wants to do, and seems to be really gathering momentum. It's just so lovely to see, given what he was like (depressed, anxious and zero-confidence) this time last year when we were about to start home educating. So today I'm going to leave you with Middle's completed "My Body" lapbook. He calls it the "biggest, most flappiest lapbook ever". Most of the flap templates inside came from Jodi Small's Human Body unit, on the HomeSchool Share website, and a few from the My Body unit by Friedrich, Franks and Sako. I actually prefer the bits that Middle does entirely by himself, they're so cute - but the HSS templates are awesome for when he runs out of ideas!
Happy Monday everyone! Have a lovely week - and I'll try to be back here sooner than I was last week!
front cover
inside front cover
middle
inside right flap
right flap
And some of the fold-outs/ flaps...
Middle's depiction of the body's various systems (top left to right: digestive, skeletal, nervous, muscular, circulatory, urinary, respiratory) - he did these entirely off his own back, after watching our Human Body DVD
This was Middle's favourite bit: he loved having me measure him
cue much sniggering...
Monday, 25 February 2013
"A bad day home educating...
... is still better than a bad day at school!" That's how the saying goes - and I'm so grateful that it's true! To be fair, today wasn't really that bad - it was mostly down to my mood (isn't it always?)
You see, last week we had a good week. I kept meaning to update the blog, but we were too busy or I was too tired. Middle and Youngest started the week fighting off some kind of lurgy, but it wasn't too serious. We had to cancel one playdate for Monday because Youngest was really miserable that day, but for the rest of the week they were OK and our time was chock-a-block full of socialising. It was half-term for schools in Herts - and while I don't particularly feel the need to take breaks at the same time as the school holidays, it is a great opportunity for the boys to catch up with their friends who are still in school. So we dropped all parent-led activities, and they had a lovely week full of playing with friends, playing computer games, watching TV, and just playing - while Mummy got to grips with some serious sorting out that was badly overdue!
It has been almost eleven years since I was able to just get on with tidying up etc, as ever since Eldest was born, I have had babies/ toddlers to keep an eye on. To this day I maintain that if you have a child (or more) aged 3 or under, there is no point trying to keep a tidy house as they create chaos faster than you can sort it out! Some children are reportedly good at entertaining themselves safely without requiring much supervision (apparently my brother-in-law as a baby could be left in a room playing with toys and when his Mum came back into the room he would be exactly where she left him... I cannot even begin to imagine it!) None of mine were like that - and especially not Youngest! However, now he has reached the grand old age of four, he is calming down slightly. He even voluntarily took my hand and walked with me instead of running off the other day while we were out shopping (I was simultaneously shocked and thrilled). So anyway, now he is slowing down a little I have found myself better able to get on with jobs around the house while he is happily occupied elsewhere. Of course, my ears are on high-alert like ultra sensitive satellite dishes so that if it goes ominously quiet I can leap into search-and-retrieve mode immediately - but the fact is, last week I not only maintained the necessary level of housework but also got some boxes of stuff sorted (y'know - the "stuff" that gets shoved in a box/ cupboard/ shelf/ room somewhere in a hurry when people drop by, and then stays in said box for weeks... months... (years?) on end). I was greatly pleased with myself!
By the weekend though, I confess I was really tired from all the hosting playdates, tidying/ sorting and being solely responsible for the boys all week as Hubby had had a really busy week of very long days at work. So by Saturday we were both fairly wiped out, and somehow managed to not only do hardly any tidying up all weekend, but also not have any family time together in the great outdoors. Big mistake. Today I woke up to a kitchen full of mess, an erupting laundry bin and a house-full of inhabitants who are going more than a bit stir-crazy. Enter the "bad day home educating": I just want to be outside, walking through my beloved woods, not stuck indoors moving from dishwasher to washing machine and back again (although I am really grateful for said machines of course). However, the boys are adamant that it is Monday and therefore pyjama day - grrrrrr, for once I am not having such a lovely Monday! I'm trying not to be grumpy Mummy, but I do feel really cooped up. Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle as to persuade the boys to get dressed and go outdoors would take a lot of 'jollying along' - and jolly seems to have disappeared from my repertoire today. I have suggested going to the park a couple of times but they're not keen (except Youngest, bless him) - and I know if I tried to force it, it would turn into a major battle. Hey ho - at least we can go out tomorrow!
It has to be said - in "educational terms" the boys have done just fine: they've all had some time on Reading Eggs(press); Eldest and Middle have spent some time on their lapbooks; Youngest did a jigsaw puzzle and made a marble run; we all experimented with separating colours using felt pens and filter paper - a good day really. However, the Reading Eggspress was more taxing than I expected as they all hit issues and needed my input (Eldest needed me to find the right books; Middle got too many answers wrong on his comprehension bit so had to redo it (which is never encouraging) - he did fine the second time though as doing it with me makes him slow down and read the questions properly; Youngest managed to accidentally switch off our ancient home computer three times! Given that it takes 20-30 minutes to get from 'start' to having loaded an online programe, that was enormously frustrating) Eldest is starting a new lapbook and even though he already knew what subject he wanted to do (Life in the Rainforest) it took him ages to get started as he kept hitting problems with loading Youtube clips of his chosen creatures or finding a good photo for the cover etc. Middle is just finishing his 'My Body' lapbook - having had a week off he had run out of momentum on it, but we think it's important that they learn to see jobs through to completion, so I shamelessly bribed him with a glowstick from their treasure box of goodies-they-receive-for-doing-good-work (their idea, not mine), and eventually he did a bit more - hooray! Hopefully it will be finished soon! Oh, and the lovely ink/water experiment didn't work as well as the examples show in the book, although the boys thought it was cool - and it didn't go down well when somebody knocked over the glass of inky water all over Mummy's lap just when I was trying to tidy up!
Big sigh. Never mind! I hope I haven't depressed you... I wanted to be honest and faithfully record the ups and downs of home educating - but at the end of the day, that saying is true: a bad day home educating really is still better than a bad day at school. Bad days at school never left space for precious cuddles with loving little boys; at school we couldn't make allowances for feeling tired/ fed up, and adjust our workload accordingly; if we'd been at school that mountain of washing-up & laundry would still have been waiting for me when I got back, even more exhausted than I started the day. If Middle had had to redo a lesson in school he would have ground to a halt, he was so low in confidence. At least today he was happy to try again with me next to him - that's real progress! They are not being asked to do mindless exercises; they are not having their behaviour scrutinised; they are not subject to the anti-social pressures of hostile peers; they are not being tested on things that will be forgotten after the tests are completed. They are free to learn through play and exploration; they have space to move about and stretch; if they want to spend hours on end just experimenting with their camera (Middle this afternoon) they can. Even though Mummy has had her grumpy moments today, they are still in an environment where their worth as individuals is unquestioned and they are loved for being who they are. It's got to be said - for all my petty complaints, that's still a pretty good day!
You see, last week we had a good week. I kept meaning to update the blog, but we were too busy or I was too tired. Middle and Youngest started the week fighting off some kind of lurgy, but it wasn't too serious. We had to cancel one playdate for Monday because Youngest was really miserable that day, but for the rest of the week they were OK and our time was chock-a-block full of socialising. It was half-term for schools in Herts - and while I don't particularly feel the need to take breaks at the same time as the school holidays, it is a great opportunity for the boys to catch up with their friends who are still in school. So we dropped all parent-led activities, and they had a lovely week full of playing with friends, playing computer games, watching TV, and just playing - while Mummy got to grips with some serious sorting out that was badly overdue!
It has been almost eleven years since I was able to just get on with tidying up etc, as ever since Eldest was born, I have had babies/ toddlers to keep an eye on. To this day I maintain that if you have a child (or more) aged 3 or under, there is no point trying to keep a tidy house as they create chaos faster than you can sort it out! Some children are reportedly good at entertaining themselves safely without requiring much supervision (apparently my brother-in-law as a baby could be left in a room playing with toys and when his Mum came back into the room he would be exactly where she left him... I cannot even begin to imagine it!) None of mine were like that - and especially not Youngest! However, now he has reached the grand old age of four, he is calming down slightly. He even voluntarily took my hand and walked with me instead of running off the other day while we were out shopping (I was simultaneously shocked and thrilled). So anyway, now he is slowing down a little I have found myself better able to get on with jobs around the house while he is happily occupied elsewhere. Of course, my ears are on high-alert like ultra sensitive satellite dishes so that if it goes ominously quiet I can leap into search-and-retrieve mode immediately - but the fact is, last week I not only maintained the necessary level of housework but also got some boxes of stuff sorted (y'know - the "stuff" that gets shoved in a box/ cupboard/ shelf/ room somewhere in a hurry when people drop by, and then stays in said box for weeks... months... (years?) on end). I was greatly pleased with myself!
By the weekend though, I confess I was really tired from all the hosting playdates, tidying/ sorting and being solely responsible for the boys all week as Hubby had had a really busy week of very long days at work. So by Saturday we were both fairly wiped out, and somehow managed to not only do hardly any tidying up all weekend, but also not have any family time together in the great outdoors. Big mistake. Today I woke up to a kitchen full of mess, an erupting laundry bin and a house-full of inhabitants who are going more than a bit stir-crazy. Enter the "bad day home educating": I just want to be outside, walking through my beloved woods, not stuck indoors moving from dishwasher to washing machine and back again (although I am really grateful for said machines of course). However, the boys are adamant that it is Monday and therefore pyjama day - grrrrrr, for once I am not having such a lovely Monday! I'm trying not to be grumpy Mummy, but I do feel really cooped up. Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle as to persuade the boys to get dressed and go outdoors would take a lot of 'jollying along' - and jolly seems to have disappeared from my repertoire today. I have suggested going to the park a couple of times but they're not keen (except Youngest, bless him) - and I know if I tried to force it, it would turn into a major battle. Hey ho - at least we can go out tomorrow!
It has to be said - in "educational terms" the boys have done just fine: they've all had some time on Reading Eggs(press); Eldest and Middle have spent some time on their lapbooks; Youngest did a jigsaw puzzle and made a marble run; we all experimented with separating colours using felt pens and filter paper - a good day really. However, the Reading Eggspress was more taxing than I expected as they all hit issues and needed my input (Eldest needed me to find the right books; Middle got too many answers wrong on his comprehension bit so had to redo it (which is never encouraging) - he did fine the second time though as doing it with me makes him slow down and read the questions properly; Youngest managed to accidentally switch off our ancient home computer three times! Given that it takes 20-30 minutes to get from 'start' to having loaded an online programe, that was enormously frustrating) Eldest is starting a new lapbook and even though he already knew what subject he wanted to do (Life in the Rainforest) it took him ages to get started as he kept hitting problems with loading Youtube clips of his chosen creatures or finding a good photo for the cover etc. Middle is just finishing his 'My Body' lapbook - having had a week off he had run out of momentum on it, but we think it's important that they learn to see jobs through to completion, so I shamelessly bribed him with a glowstick from their treasure box of goodies-they-receive-for-doing-good-work (their idea, not mine), and eventually he did a bit more - hooray! Hopefully it will be finished soon! Oh, and the lovely ink/water experiment didn't work as well as the examples show in the book, although the boys thought it was cool - and it didn't go down well when somebody knocked over the glass of inky water all over Mummy's lap just when I was trying to tidy up!
Big sigh. Never mind! I hope I haven't depressed you... I wanted to be honest and faithfully record the ups and downs of home educating - but at the end of the day, that saying is true: a bad day home educating really is still better than a bad day at school. Bad days at school never left space for precious cuddles with loving little boys; at school we couldn't make allowances for feeling tired/ fed up, and adjust our workload accordingly; if we'd been at school that mountain of washing-up & laundry would still have been waiting for me when I got back, even more exhausted than I started the day. If Middle had had to redo a lesson in school he would have ground to a halt, he was so low in confidence. At least today he was happy to try again with me next to him - that's real progress! They are not being asked to do mindless exercises; they are not having their behaviour scrutinised; they are not subject to the anti-social pressures of hostile peers; they are not being tested on things that will be forgotten after the tests are completed. They are free to learn through play and exploration; they have space to move about and stretch; if they want to spend hours on end just experimenting with their camera (Middle this afternoon) they can. Even though Mummy has had her grumpy moments today, they are still in an environment where their worth as individuals is unquestioned and they are loved for being who they are. It's got to be said - for all my petty complaints, that's still a pretty good day!
Friday, 1 February 2013
Arty Farty
Eldest learned a hard lesson today about the difference between saving and deleting a piece of work that you think
you've finished with! Hence no pictures here of a completed lapbook
(which he was hoping to finish today) - because he has had to repeat some of
his work and got a bit discouraged. He's doing well though: he hasn't
given up; just slowed down a bit.
We were supposed to be at our local soft play meet-up today, but our car is at the garage having its brakes sorted (they locked up the other day), and I was put off the idea of going on the bus with a bad back and three excited boys by our not-great experiences yesterday. So we've been at home again. The boys are now playing happily on the Wii as a thank you from Mummy for not making a fuss about missing out on Soft Play. Mainly today I've been trying to clear the mess in the study, with the boys helping where they can. Eldest has also been doing his lapbook, of course - and we did a lovely art project too. I even liked my finished result for once! I had found and pinned this Northern Lights Project the other day - and thought this morning it would make a nice cheerful little project to do as we were home. We had a look at some Aurora Borealis footage on YouTube, and learned a bit from Wikipedia., including the colour being affected by oxygen v nitrogen - and looking up the south pole equivalent (Aurora Australis). Then we got out our playground chalks and had a go on some sugar paper sheets. We didn't follow the exact instructions on the link because the boys were just too keen to get stuck in - but they still enjoyed it!
.JPG)
.JPG)
Middle
I have noticed through blogging that we seem to do a lot of art - and I wondered why that is. After all, I'm supposed to be rubbish at it - I certainly wasn't allowed to take it at O'level (showing my age there). I decided it's down to at least two things: firstly, I like it. In fact, I love it. I am rarely pleased with what I produce, but then, I don't expect myself to make anything that would qualify as art ("art" in my mind being something that sells for lots of money to people who supposedly know what they're looking at). However I do love looking at it, being inspired by it, and just the process of having a go - it's creative, fun and therapeutic (although admittedly the clearing up isn't always so soothing). Secondly, I think part of me is rebelling against being told I wasn't allowed to do it - and that shows itself by my determination that my boys will never hear they are "not good enough". Now they may never have careers as artists (although Middle is obviously passionate about it - I may need to consider proper lessons when he's older), but that's not the point: right now, I just want them to be free to do whatever they want to do. As long as they enjoy it, we will carry on painting, chalking, sketching, modelling, pastelling, marbling, collage-ing etc to our hearts' content. It kind of sums up for me one of the things I dislike about school (being labelled as 'good' or 'bad' at something) and what I love about HE (being free to do something just because you enjoy it). And by doing as much arty stuff as we do, it's my way of blowing a raspberry at the system that by enforcing some kind of skill evaluation, suppresses all sense of enjoyment.
So on that arty-farty note, I will leave you with Eldest's painting. He was reading one of his Calvin & Hobbes book, and saw a rare cartoon that was drawn almost entirely in black and white. This inspired him to come and get the paints out for himself and do his own monochromatic picture. It's called "Birds Migrating in the Winter" I love the little hedgehog and badger at the bottom - and even more, I love that he saw something he liked, got inspired, and just had a go. That's my boy!
We were supposed to be at our local soft play meet-up today, but our car is at the garage having its brakes sorted (they locked up the other day), and I was put off the idea of going on the bus with a bad back and three excited boys by our not-great experiences yesterday. So we've been at home again. The boys are now playing happily on the Wii as a thank you from Mummy for not making a fuss about missing out on Soft Play. Mainly today I've been trying to clear the mess in the study, with the boys helping where they can. Eldest has also been doing his lapbook, of course - and we did a lovely art project too. I even liked my finished result for once! I had found and pinned this Northern Lights Project the other day - and thought this morning it would make a nice cheerful little project to do as we were home. We had a look at some Aurora Borealis footage on YouTube, and learned a bit from Wikipedia., including the colour being affected by oxygen v nitrogen - and looking up the south pole equivalent (Aurora Australis). Then we got out our playground chalks and had a go on some sugar paper sheets. We didn't follow the exact instructions on the link because the boys were just too keen to get stuck in - but they still enjoyed it!
.JPG)
Mummy
.JPG)
Eldest
Youngest (it started as the Northern Lights, but ended up as a picture of the car getting stuck when Mummy tried to drive it - it must have made a big impact on him on Tuesday if he's still reliving it!)
I have noticed through blogging that we seem to do a lot of art - and I wondered why that is. After all, I'm supposed to be rubbish at it - I certainly wasn't allowed to take it at O'level (showing my age there). I decided it's down to at least two things: firstly, I like it. In fact, I love it. I am rarely pleased with what I produce, but then, I don't expect myself to make anything that would qualify as art ("art" in my mind being something that sells for lots of money to people who supposedly know what they're looking at). However I do love looking at it, being inspired by it, and just the process of having a go - it's creative, fun and therapeutic (although admittedly the clearing up isn't always so soothing). Secondly, I think part of me is rebelling against being told I wasn't allowed to do it - and that shows itself by my determination that my boys will never hear they are "not good enough". Now they may never have careers as artists (although Middle is obviously passionate about it - I may need to consider proper lessons when he's older), but that's not the point: right now, I just want them to be free to do whatever they want to do. As long as they enjoy it, we will carry on painting, chalking, sketching, modelling, pastelling, marbling, collage-ing etc to our hearts' content. It kind of sums up for me one of the things I dislike about school (being labelled as 'good' or 'bad' at something) and what I love about HE (being free to do something just because you enjoy it). And by doing as much arty stuff as we do, it's my way of blowing a raspberry at the system that by enforcing some kind of skill evaluation, suppresses all sense of enjoyment.
So on that arty-farty note, I will leave you with Eldest's painting. He was reading one of his Calvin & Hobbes book, and saw a rare cartoon that was drawn almost entirely in black and white. This inspired him to come and get the paints out for himself and do his own monochromatic picture. It's called "Birds Migrating in the Winter" I love the little hedgehog and badger at the bottom - and even more, I love that he saw something he liked, got inspired, and just had a go. That's my boy!
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
A Little Wobble
I don't ever seem to get major wobbles - you know, the sort that make you seriously consider if your child(ren) would be better off in school. Because mine have already done the school thing I am completely confident that they are better off with me (for reasons that regular blog-readers will be familiar with, so I won't take up space by repeating it all here). However, the little sneaky wobbles where you just catch yourself wondering "am I doing this right?"; "is my child ever going to get interested in anything other than Minecraft?"; "should we be doing X Y or Z?" (argh, "should"... *smacks head* shoulds are never far from the wobbles!)... yes, I get those!
So I've been thinking about this again, and I've concluded that I'm feeling a bit directionless. One thing I liked about teaching was having it all laid out before you - the national curriculum clearly showing the way; a nice broad path, clearly marked out, heading ultimately to one goal: GCSEs (or equivalent). Subjects, Topics, Workbooks, Attainment Targets, Lesson Plans, Assessment Forms - easy peasy (apart from the phenomenal amount of work involved in creating and maintaining all of the above!!). Of course, the main problem was guiding groups of different children with different abilities and different passions along the same path. It wasn't in fact a production line where you could put each child through the same process and get the same results at the end. Some children flourished, some struggled, some were ruined. Hence the perceived need for Home Education: the chance for us to walk a different path; one of our own making... a little adventure. No nice straight path here - more of a meander through the woods, exploring whichever openings take our fancy, with some openings leading to dead-ends, some possibly getting a bit boggy, and some leading to absolutely glorious, soul-flooding places of wonder where you just want to set up camp. Best of all, getting to share that path with the people I love most in the world.
But... do you see the problem? Wandering in the woods is lovely - truly; it's one of my favourite things to do. It's just that sometimes you can get a bit lost. And at times like this you can find yourself longing to be back on the straight open road with signposts everywhere, and the reassurance of millions of other people all doing the same thing... No? Well OK, maybe not - but at least a map would be nice!
So that's where I am: a little bit lost. Yes, we're dong the English & Maths curriculum. My twin safety blankets of Reading Eggs and MathsWhizz - the equivalent of those little yellow arrows you get in the woods, giving a vague sense of direction (and a little sigh of relief: "oh good, a yellow arrow: at least I'm on a recognised route; even if it's not the one I started on, it'll take me somewhere civilised!"). If sometimes I get a little concerned that the online 'work' is getting too boring for the boys, or it's going against my desire to have them following only their passions, I give them a few days off (like we have this week), and reaasure myself that half an hour a day is hardly going to stop their brains working for themselves. And yes, I have given myself permission to make suggestions, to invite them into the things that I think would be interesting. They make suggestions too. It's nice; we have fun; we learn... I'm just feeling a bit 'where-next'-ish.
OK then, so when I'm lost what do I do? Well first I try to work out where I am. In HE terms, this is like taking stock of where we are. Take Eldest this morning. I didn't think he'd done anything much except mooch, but after a lovely little chat (I wasn't interrogating him honest, just taking an interest!) it turns out he had...
1/ written a poem for Mummy about Mummy
2/ learned about the Tudors and pirates on 'Horrible Histories Gory Games' (TV)
3/ drawn Spongebob cartoons for Middle
4/ built lego constructions
5/ experimented with building a tornado machine using plastic bottles
6/ learned more about wildlife on 'Barney's Barrier Reef' and 'Natural Born Hunters'
7/ read a few books: the Ultimate Official Guide to Club Penguin, Waddle On Joke Book, Professor Bumblebrains Bonkers Book of God
For a mooch, I'd say he's been quite productive! What a little star!
And as for Middle and Youngest? They played together really nicely all morning! Marble runs, Kid K'nex constructions, imaginative role play... and more. They were playing so nicely I didn't want to interrupt. Yes I would have liked them doing things I could more easily tick off as 'subjects', but I know better than to try to make them confirm to my wobbly insecurities. Personally, yes, I would like a bit more structure (not least because a few of my friends are having very successful structured times of it at the moment, which always brings it to my attention again) - but I'm fairly sure that Middle at least would balk at the idea. Eldest might go for it for a while, but he's doing OK without anyway. Youngest has lost any interest in workbooks etc - but he's easy in the sense that he's very definite about his likes and interests. If he wants to learn something you won't stop him, and if he doesn't want to, there's no point trying to persuade him. Generally, it's quite clear to me that there is still some deschooling in process.
If I know where we are (we're doing OK, learning, and to a degree still deschooling), we can't be totally lost! The next question then is: do I know where we're going? Not in terms of having signposts and maps, or tickboxes no - but generally? I need to remind myself of why I'm doing this - what's the goal? Basically, we're aiming at producing happy, well-adjusted individuals, capable of discovering and pursuing their own interests. Exams are not our goal. When you've been in educational surroundings for as long as I have, it can seem that exam results are the be-all and end-all of education - so forgive me if I'm stating the obvious... I just need to remind myself so I don't go into autopilot. You know that feeling when you're an experienced driver - you're driving along and realise that you weren't paying full attention, you're just on auto-pilot, following the familar roads that you're used to, to get home or another well-travelled-to destination? Well in educational terms, exams are my auto-pilot. I need to periodically remind myself that that is NOT our destination any more. True, they may well be a valuable stop off along the way, to help any of our boys get to where they want to go, but my focus is on producing enthusiastic and capable learners, and eventually adults who are fulfilled in their lives. The boys don't yet know what they want from lives occupation-wise, so there's no point looking for a map to follow. We're back to meandering, exploring & looking for the next inspiration to strike.
To go back to where I started then...am I still feeling lost? Um... well, still a bit directionless, but given that none of the boys have expressed any desire to learn/ achieve any one thing at the moment, that's understandable. We are heading in the right direction - and I'm pretty sure at least some of us are still deschooling (I certainly am). Whatever we do, while writing this post I have come to realise again that the hardest thing about HE for me is that I can't use any one method with all three boys. I think I need to focus again on the best way to help Eldest, the best way to help Middle, and the best way to help Youngest - and see where that leads us. Following three individual paths at once? Now there's a challenge! And a whole other blog post! Excuse me while I go & let my brain whirr...
So I've been thinking about this again, and I've concluded that I'm feeling a bit directionless. One thing I liked about teaching was having it all laid out before you - the national curriculum clearly showing the way; a nice broad path, clearly marked out, heading ultimately to one goal: GCSEs (or equivalent). Subjects, Topics, Workbooks, Attainment Targets, Lesson Plans, Assessment Forms - easy peasy (apart from the phenomenal amount of work involved in creating and maintaining all of the above!!). Of course, the main problem was guiding groups of different children with different abilities and different passions along the same path. It wasn't in fact a production line where you could put each child through the same process and get the same results at the end. Some children flourished, some struggled, some were ruined. Hence the perceived need for Home Education: the chance for us to walk a different path; one of our own making... a little adventure. No nice straight path here - more of a meander through the woods, exploring whichever openings take our fancy, with some openings leading to dead-ends, some possibly getting a bit boggy, and some leading to absolutely glorious, soul-flooding places of wonder where you just want to set up camp. Best of all, getting to share that path with the people I love most in the world.
But... do you see the problem? Wandering in the woods is lovely - truly; it's one of my favourite things to do. It's just that sometimes you can get a bit lost. And at times like this you can find yourself longing to be back on the straight open road with signposts everywhere, and the reassurance of millions of other people all doing the same thing... No? Well OK, maybe not - but at least a map would be nice!
So that's where I am: a little bit lost. Yes, we're dong the English & Maths curriculum. My twin safety blankets of Reading Eggs and MathsWhizz - the equivalent of those little yellow arrows you get in the woods, giving a vague sense of direction (and a little sigh of relief: "oh good, a yellow arrow: at least I'm on a recognised route; even if it's not the one I started on, it'll take me somewhere civilised!"). If sometimes I get a little concerned that the online 'work' is getting too boring for the boys, or it's going against my desire to have them following only their passions, I give them a few days off (like we have this week), and reaasure myself that half an hour a day is hardly going to stop their brains working for themselves. And yes, I have given myself permission to make suggestions, to invite them into the things that I think would be interesting. They make suggestions too. It's nice; we have fun; we learn... I'm just feeling a bit 'where-next'-ish.
OK then, so when I'm lost what do I do? Well first I try to work out where I am. In HE terms, this is like taking stock of where we are. Take Eldest this morning. I didn't think he'd done anything much except mooch, but after a lovely little chat (I wasn't interrogating him honest, just taking an interest!) it turns out he had...
1/ written a poem for Mummy about Mummy
2/ learned about the Tudors and pirates on 'Horrible Histories Gory Games' (TV)
3/ drawn Spongebob cartoons for Middle
4/ built lego constructions
5/ experimented with building a tornado machine using plastic bottles
6/ learned more about wildlife on 'Barney's Barrier Reef' and 'Natural Born Hunters'
7/ read a few books: the Ultimate Official Guide to Club Penguin, Waddle On Joke Book, Professor Bumblebrains Bonkers Book of God
For a mooch, I'd say he's been quite productive! What a little star!
And as for Middle and Youngest? They played together really nicely all morning! Marble runs, Kid K'nex constructions, imaginative role play... and more. They were playing so nicely I didn't want to interrupt. Yes I would have liked them doing things I could more easily tick off as 'subjects', but I know better than to try to make them confirm to my wobbly insecurities. Personally, yes, I would like a bit more structure (not least because a few of my friends are having very successful structured times of it at the moment, which always brings it to my attention again) - but I'm fairly sure that Middle at least would balk at the idea. Eldest might go for it for a while, but he's doing OK without anyway. Youngest has lost any interest in workbooks etc - but he's easy in the sense that he's very definite about his likes and interests. If he wants to learn something you won't stop him, and if he doesn't want to, there's no point trying to persuade him. Generally, it's quite clear to me that there is still some deschooling in process.
If I know where we are (we're doing OK, learning, and to a degree still deschooling), we can't be totally lost! The next question then is: do I know where we're going? Not in terms of having signposts and maps, or tickboxes no - but generally? I need to remind myself of why I'm doing this - what's the goal? Basically, we're aiming at producing happy, well-adjusted individuals, capable of discovering and pursuing their own interests. Exams are not our goal. When you've been in educational surroundings for as long as I have, it can seem that exam results are the be-all and end-all of education - so forgive me if I'm stating the obvious... I just need to remind myself so I don't go into autopilot. You know that feeling when you're an experienced driver - you're driving along and realise that you weren't paying full attention, you're just on auto-pilot, following the familar roads that you're used to, to get home or another well-travelled-to destination? Well in educational terms, exams are my auto-pilot. I need to periodically remind myself that that is NOT our destination any more. True, they may well be a valuable stop off along the way, to help any of our boys get to where they want to go, but my focus is on producing enthusiastic and capable learners, and eventually adults who are fulfilled in their lives. The boys don't yet know what they want from lives occupation-wise, so there's no point looking for a map to follow. We're back to meandering, exploring & looking for the next inspiration to strike.
To go back to where I started then...am I still feeling lost? Um... well, still a bit directionless, but given that none of the boys have expressed any desire to learn/ achieve any one thing at the moment, that's understandable. We are heading in the right direction - and I'm pretty sure at least some of us are still deschooling (I certainly am). Whatever we do, while writing this post I have come to realise again that the hardest thing about HE for me is that I can't use any one method with all three boys. I think I need to focus again on the best way to help Eldest, the best way to help Middle, and the best way to help Youngest - and see where that leads us. Following three individual paths at once? Now there's a challenge! And a whole other blog post! Excuse me while I go & let my brain whirr...
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
The Learning Never Stops
Happy New Year! Here's hoping that 2013 will be a prosperous and fun year for us all!
I was in two minds about continuing to blog - it can be time-consuming when I am busy with multiple entries on my 'to-do' list, and with the exception of one or two who are really generous with their feedback, it can be weird wondering if anyone's actually reading. That's not a self-pitying hint for charity feedback by the way - I'm just being honest (insert winking smiley face here... why don't Blogspot have emoticons?) Anyway, I reminded myself that I started the blog for myself primarily - and it has been REALLY helpful to have it as a diary to look back on at certain times. I could just as easily have written it in Word, saved it to my PC and kept it private - but I thought it might help the odd person to see how it really is, warts and all (some times are more warty than others) for someone else on their own journey. So here I am, back again - and actually, really happy to be back again. As I (still in my PJs after we all had a rare lie-in) peeked out of the window and noticed my neighbours taking their children to school this morning I stopped and counted again the blessings of having my children at home with me. We are so happy learning at home (and elsewhere) together!
So we've had a lovely holiday - and confirmed that our holidays look hardly any different from "term-time" (except we don't usually stuff ourselves silly with rich party food or visit all our closest relatives within a few days).
No sooner had I written my last blog post of the year and declared us "on holiday" than the boys were creating, learning and exploring some more. Youngest has been learning about habitats, Middle launched into a new vein of creating, this time in a song-writing groove. It was lovely listening to him and Eldest as they chatted together, exploring different tunes and sound effects on their toy electric guitar and jumbo keyboard. I behaved myself and stayed out of it, but confess I did listen in every now and then - it was just too cute! Eldest found a PC game where he had to go round as a penguin, solving puzzles and rescuing undersea creatures etc - and he wrote a story involving a fart in a pond of acid (there was more to it than that, but that was his favourite bit!) Youngest has been doing a lot of 'writing' and drawing - and his fine motor skills are really improving. Their creativity has been endless.
The boys were also given some lovely creative games for Christmas presents - we're looking forward to getting into those! I think this is another benefit of HE: the boys get to more fully enjoy the toys etc that they are given. In previous years they would be blessed in abundance with presents from all sorts of family members and friends - and I hate to admit it, but they never got the full benefit of all their gifts, as they just never had time to enjoy them all before going back to school and the 'new stuff' getting forgotten. This year it's been lovely to have it all at our disposal, and know that we have all the time we want to explore their new games at our leisure. In fact we've deliberately saved some of it until this week, so we can really take our time and enjoy it, rather than getting it out, having a quick look, and putting it away again to move on to the next thing.
So yesterday saw the return of our much-loved Pyjama Monday. Well - except for the fact that Eldest and Middle forgot, and got dressed. Then later in the morning we realised we were out of eggs. We could have jumped into the car with Youngest in his PJs, and gone for a 5-minute drive, but I was determined to make the most of having time to do what we wanted - and if there's one thing I love, it's walking in the countryside, enjoying the fresh air. So Youngest happily put his clothes on, and we all went for a stroll - trying to sing together louder than the rooks above us were cawing. What a lovely start to the term!
Eggs purchased, and home again, we had fun making self-portraits using paper, oil pastels and wool - and Eldest made some scrummy toffee brownies for lunch while Middle carried on creating works of art and Youngest got absorbed into undersea adventures on the CBeebies website.
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
Today we have been to craft club, where the boys were happy to see old friends and make new ones - all the while having lots of fun "creating". As I mentioned to Heather who runs the group, it's so lovely seeing them free to explore their own creativity. Much more than when we were in school, they seem really happy to explore the resources available and come up with inventive ways of making things from their imaginations, or versions of things they have seen elsewhere. OK so they don't always do the suggested creation for the day (though usually at least one of them does), but Heather is so encouraging and helpful in whatever they are making, they absolutely love going.
Youngest made the weather mobile that was suggested - and did a really good job, I thought. I keep forgetting that he is growing in ability, and am often surprised at his improvement in controlling a paintbrush or pair of scissors. I claim responsibility for the raindrops - he ran out of patience for those - but he came back to make the sun, and finish the mobile...
Middle made a 'happy aeroplane' and painted a 'spooky picture'...
and Eldest made a balloon squid head...
Sometimes I wonder if I should get them to improve their work, or be more accurate, or finish it better... but then I wonder why? True, it may help them to do "better work" - but for whom? If they are happy with it, why can't I be? I always remember being told at school that I was no good at art, & consequently losing my love of it for decades. I don't want to put my boys off by being critical - and at the end of the day, where there's a sentence with a 'should' in it, that is enough for me to blow a metaphorical raspberry at the notion. I celebrate my children's art, not because they are gifted Artists-with-a-capital-A, but because they are happy and confident to express themselves - and if that's all they learn from me, I'll be happy with that.
And now I'm out of time again. There's so much more to say - there always is; this learning business never really stops, whether it's stuff we're trying to learn (such as how to make a balloon squid head) or the stuff we learn while learning how to make a balloon squid head (such as confidence to express ourselves without fear of criticism). I'll try to write more soon, but suffice it to say, we're really enjoying the "start of term". Though it's not that different to 'holiday-time', it's just another chance to relish again this funny but oh-so-rewarding journey that is Home Education.
I was in two minds about continuing to blog - it can be time-consuming when I am busy with multiple entries on my 'to-do' list, and with the exception of one or two who are really generous with their feedback, it can be weird wondering if anyone's actually reading. That's not a self-pitying hint for charity feedback by the way - I'm just being honest (insert winking smiley face here... why don't Blogspot have emoticons?) Anyway, I reminded myself that I started the blog for myself primarily - and it has been REALLY helpful to have it as a diary to look back on at certain times. I could just as easily have written it in Word, saved it to my PC and kept it private - but I thought it might help the odd person to see how it really is, warts and all (some times are more warty than others) for someone else on their own journey. So here I am, back again - and actually, really happy to be back again. As I (still in my PJs after we all had a rare lie-in) peeked out of the window and noticed my neighbours taking their children to school this morning I stopped and counted again the blessings of having my children at home with me. We are so happy learning at home (and elsewhere) together!
So we've had a lovely holiday - and confirmed that our holidays look hardly any different from "term-time" (except we don't usually stuff ourselves silly with rich party food or visit all our closest relatives within a few days).
No sooner had I written my last blog post of the year and declared us "on holiday" than the boys were creating, learning and exploring some more. Youngest has been learning about habitats, Middle launched into a new vein of creating, this time in a song-writing groove. It was lovely listening to him and Eldest as they chatted together, exploring different tunes and sound effects on their toy electric guitar and jumbo keyboard. I behaved myself and stayed out of it, but confess I did listen in every now and then - it was just too cute! Eldest found a PC game where he had to go round as a penguin, solving puzzles and rescuing undersea creatures etc - and he wrote a story involving a fart in a pond of acid (there was more to it than that, but that was his favourite bit!) Youngest has been doing a lot of 'writing' and drawing - and his fine motor skills are really improving. Their creativity has been endless.
The boys were also given some lovely creative games for Christmas presents - we're looking forward to getting into those! I think this is another benefit of HE: the boys get to more fully enjoy the toys etc that they are given. In previous years they would be blessed in abundance with presents from all sorts of family members and friends - and I hate to admit it, but they never got the full benefit of all their gifts, as they just never had time to enjoy them all before going back to school and the 'new stuff' getting forgotten. This year it's been lovely to have it all at our disposal, and know that we have all the time we want to explore their new games at our leisure. In fact we've deliberately saved some of it until this week, so we can really take our time and enjoy it, rather than getting it out, having a quick look, and putting it away again to move on to the next thing.
So yesterday saw the return of our much-loved Pyjama Monday. Well - except for the fact that Eldest and Middle forgot, and got dressed. Then later in the morning we realised we were out of eggs. We could have jumped into the car with Youngest in his PJs, and gone for a 5-minute drive, but I was determined to make the most of having time to do what we wanted - and if there's one thing I love, it's walking in the countryside, enjoying the fresh air. So Youngest happily put his clothes on, and we all went for a stroll - trying to sing together louder than the rooks above us were cawing. What a lovely start to the term!
Eggs purchased, and home again, we had fun making self-portraits using paper, oil pastels and wool - and Eldest made some scrummy toffee brownies for lunch while Middle carried on creating works of art and Youngest got absorbed into undersea adventures on the CBeebies website.
.JPG)
Mummy Eldest
.JPG)
Middle (he did the wonky eyes on purpose Youngest (wearing a red hat)
cos he thought it was funny)
hooray for home baking!
Today we have been to craft club, where the boys were happy to see old friends and make new ones - all the while having lots of fun "creating". As I mentioned to Heather who runs the group, it's so lovely seeing them free to explore their own creativity. Much more than when we were in school, they seem really happy to explore the resources available and come up with inventive ways of making things from their imaginations, or versions of things they have seen elsewhere. OK so they don't always do the suggested creation for the day (though usually at least one of them does), but Heather is so encouraging and helpful in whatever they are making, they absolutely love going.
Youngest made the weather mobile that was suggested - and did a really good job, I thought. I keep forgetting that he is growing in ability, and am often surprised at his improvement in controlling a paintbrush or pair of scissors. I claim responsibility for the raindrops - he ran out of patience for those - but he came back to make the sun, and finish the mobile...
Middle made a 'happy aeroplane' and painted a 'spooky picture'...
and Eldest made a balloon squid head...
Sometimes I wonder if I should get them to improve their work, or be more accurate, or finish it better... but then I wonder why? True, it may help them to do "better work" - but for whom? If they are happy with it, why can't I be? I always remember being told at school that I was no good at art, & consequently losing my love of it for decades. I don't want to put my boys off by being critical - and at the end of the day, where there's a sentence with a 'should' in it, that is enough for me to blow a metaphorical raspberry at the notion. I celebrate my children's art, not because they are gifted Artists-with-a-capital-A, but because they are happy and confident to express themselves - and if that's all they learn from me, I'll be happy with that.
And now I'm out of time again. There's so much more to say - there always is; this learning business never really stops, whether it's stuff we're trying to learn (such as how to make a balloon squid head) or the stuff we learn while learning how to make a balloon squid head (such as confidence to express ourselves without fear of criticism). I'll try to write more soon, but suffice it to say, we're really enjoying the "start of term". Though it's not that different to 'holiday-time', it's just another chance to relish again this funny but oh-so-rewarding journey that is Home Education.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)