Focusing on the right thing

I've been feeling a bit flat lately.  Not in the run-over-by-a-steamroller way - although I have had my moments - but just less sparkly or enthusiastic than usual.  If course, there are some very good reasons for this as regular readers will know - it's understandable & I'm not beating myself up over it - just noting it.  My reason for sharing it here is that I think while all home educators have seasons of real energy and vision (by nature we have to be visionaries, to go against the flow of mainstream education), at times we also have seasons of less energy; maybe less confidence or direction.  And that is OK.  It's natural - in fact, I think it's healthy.  I was sharing with a friend recently the seasonal nature of a child's learning: periods of intense obvious growth and enthusiasm, followed by periods of quiet reflection when there appears to be no interest in anything much - but after which season, when learning becomes more active again it becomes apparent that great strides have been made in their understanding while they were resting.  Well, as with children, so with us adults: I think it's healthy to recognise the seasons in our own motivation and energy, and to run with the strengths of each season - whether the energy & drive of the high-vision moments, or the consolidating strength of the resting periods.

So that being said, I've been focusing on the strengths of where we're at.  I could give in to my slightly dissatisfied feelings of 'not doing enough'/ 'are they learning anything'... the usual wobbles - or I could acknowledge how much is actually going on.  If I was feeling negative I would say 'they just watched TV this morning'.  In actual fact, they were watching "Artzooka" (an excellent art & craft programme that really inspires their own creativity) and "Finding Stuff Out" (this morning's episode learning about the sun, solar power, solar system etc) - and "Octonauts" which helped Youngest to learn about the Mariana Trench (deepest part of the ocean).  I could be discouraged that it's taken Middle a couple of months to finish his latest lapbook - or I could rejoice that his interest in the chosen subject (volcanoes) has continued for that long, despite not having the desire/ opportunity to work on his project book... and indeed rejoice that he completed his lapbook today, still as eager to share what he knows as he was at the beginning!  (*lapbook photos to follow soon hopefully - I ran out of time this evening*)  I am occasionally tempted to worry if I am "forcing" the boys to do their online curricula, and thereby ruining their natural love of learning, despite knowing that they chose MathsWhizz and Reading Eggs themselves - but today I am just so encouraged that Eldest has finally managed to conquer an area in maths that he had come up against a few times and was finding a challenge.  He hadn't complained about it (apart from the first time when he hit the issue and needed me to reassure him that "failing" wasn't a problem: as long as he kept practicing he would get there in the end) - and today, his look of accomplishment was a joy to behold!   And I could, if I was feeling really low (I'm not actually this bad), feel guilty about the amount of time that we're spending outside, and not "doing lessons" - not that we do lessons anyway, but you know what I mean - but actually it's been such a long, cold and hard winter/ spring, we are just rejoicing in the opportunity to top up our vitamin D, to go for long rambles, interacting with nature, often while socialising with friends, before it gets cold and wet again, and we retreat to our cosy home.

Anyway, you get the point: I'm learning with my children that everything about Home Ed is seasonal and there are different strengths and weaknesses to each season.  Oh, and finally, speaking of seasons, I couldn't go without sharing Eldest's latest photos from his camera trap (inspired by the very seasonal Springwatch).  We got some more lovely photos, this time from pointing the camera towards the woodland behind our garden... we were very excited to see the results, and hope you enjoy them too...

 hooray, it's a fox!

 

Foxy's spotted something...

 

whatever it is, he's not happy about it... 

and the biggest squeals of excitement saved for...

the badger (or its bum, at any rate)

A Little Wobble

I don't ever seem to get major wobbles - you know, the sort that make you seriously consider if your child(ren) would be better off in school.  Because mine have already done the school thing I am completely confident that they are better off with me (for reasons that regular blog-readers will be familiar with, so I won't take up space by repeating it all here).  However, the little sneaky wobbles where you just catch yourself wondering "am I doing this right?"; "is my child ever going to get interested in anything other than Minecraft?"; "should we be doing X Y or Z?" (argh, "should"... *smacks head*  shoulds are never far from the wobbles!)... yes, I get those! 

So I've been thinking about this again, and I've concluded that I'm feeling a bit directionless.  One thing I liked about teaching was having it all laid out before you - the national curriculum clearly showing the way; a nice broad path, clearly marked out, heading ultimately to one goal: GCSEs (or equivalent).  Subjects, Topics, Workbooks, Attainment Targets, Lesson Plans, Assessment Forms - easy peasy (apart from the phenomenal amount of work involved in creating and maintaining all of the above!!).  Of course, the main problem was guiding groups of different children with different abilities and different passions along the same path.  It wasn't in fact a production line where you could put each child through the same process and get the same results at the end.  Some children flourished, some struggled, some were ruined.  Hence the perceived need for Home Education: the chance for us to walk a different path; one of our own making... a little adventure.  No nice straight path here - more of a meander through the woods, exploring whichever openings take our fancy, with some openings leading to dead-ends, some possibly getting a bit boggy, and some leading to absolutely glorious, soul-flooding places of wonder where you just want to set up camp.  Best of all, getting to share that path with the people I love most in the world.

But... do you see the problem?  Wandering in the woods is lovely - truly; it's one of my favourite things to do.  It's just that sometimes you can get a bit lost.  And at times like this you can find yourself longing to be back on the straight open road with signposts everywhere, and the reassurance of millions of other people all doing the same thing...  No?  Well OK, maybe not - but at least a map would be nice!

So that's where I am: a little bit lost.  Yes, we're dong the English & Maths curriculum.  My twin safety blankets of Reading Eggs and MathsWhizz - the equivalent of those little yellow arrows you get in the woods, giving a vague sense of direction (and a little sigh of relief: "oh good, a yellow arrow: at least I'm on a recognised route; even if it's not the one I started on, it'll take me somewhere civilised!").  If sometimes I get a little concerned that the online 'work' is getting too boring for the boys, or it's going against my desire to have them following only their passions, I give them a few days off (like we have this week), and reaasure myself that half an hour a day is hardly going to stop their brains working for themselves.  And yes, I have given myself permission to make suggestions, to invite them into the things that I think would be interesting.  They make suggestions too.  It's nice; we have fun; we learn... I'm just feeling a bit 'where-next'-ish.

OK then, so when I'm lost what do I do?  Well first I try to work out where I am. In HE terms, this is like taking stock of where we are.  Take Eldest this morning.  I didn't think he'd done anything much except mooch, but after a lovely little chat (I wasn't interrogating him honest, just taking an interest!) it turns out he had...
1/ written a poem for Mummy about Mummy
2/ learned about the Tudors and pirates on 'Horrible Histories Gory Games' (TV)
3/ drawn Spongebob cartoons for Middle
4/ built lego constructions
5/ experimented with building a tornado machine using plastic bottles
6/ learned more about wildlife on 'Barney's Barrier Reef' and 'Natural Born Hunters'
7/ read a few books:  the Ultimate Official Guide to Club Penguin,  Waddle On Joke Book,  Professor Bumblebrains Bonkers Book of God
For a mooch, I'd say he's been quite productive!  What a little star!
And as for Middle and Youngest?  They played together really nicely all morning!  Marble runs, Kid K'nex constructions, imaginative role play... and more.  They were playing so nicely I didn't want to interrupt.  Yes I would have liked them doing things I could more easily tick off as 'subjects', but I know better than to try to make them confirm to my wobbly insecurities.  Personally, yes, I would like a bit more structure (not least because a few of my friends are having very successful structured times of it at the moment, which always brings it to my attention again) - but I'm fairly sure that Middle at least would balk at the idea. Eldest might go for it for a while, but he's doing OK without anyway. Youngest has lost any interest in workbooks etc - but he's easy in the sense that he's very definite about his likes and interests. If he wants to learn something you won't stop him, and if he doesn't want to, there's no point trying to persuade him.  Generally, it's quite clear to me that there is still some deschooling in process.

If I know where we are (we're doing OK, learning, and to a degree still deschooling), we can't be totally lost!  The next question then is: do I know where we're going?  Not in terms of having signposts and maps, or tickboxes no - but generally?  I need to remind myself of why I'm doing this - what's the goal?  Basically, we're aiming at producing happy, well-adjusted individuals, capable of discovering and pursuing their own interests.  Exams are not our goal.  When you've been in educational surroundings for as long as I have, it can seem that exam results are the be-all and end-all of education - so forgive me if I'm stating the obvious... I just need to remind myself so I don't go into autopilot.  You know that feeling when you're an experienced driver - you're driving along and realise that you weren't paying full attention, you're just on auto-pilot, following the familar roads that you're used to, to get home or another well-travelled-to destination?  Well in educational terms, exams are my auto-pilot. I need to periodically remind myself that that is NOT our destination any more.  True, they may well be a valuable stop off along the way, to help any of our boys get to where they want to go, but my focus is on producing enthusiastic and capable learners, and eventually adults who are fulfilled in their lives.  The boys don't yet know what they want from lives occupation-wise, so there's no point looking for a map to follow.  We're back to meandering, exploring & looking for the next inspiration to strike.

To go back to where I started then...am I still feeling lost?  Um... well, still a bit directionless, but given that none of the boys have expressed any desire to learn/ achieve any one thing at the moment, that's understandable.  We are heading in the right direction - and I'm pretty sure at least some of us are still deschooling (I certainly am).  Whatever we do, while writing this post I have come to realise again that the hardest thing about HE for me is that I can't use any one method with all three boys.  I think I need to focus again on the best way to help Eldest, the best way to help Middle, and the best way to help Youngest - and see where that leads us.  Following three individual paths at once? Now there's a challenge!  And a whole other blog post!  Excuse me while I go & let my brain whirr...

Rollercoaster Days

It's been a funny week so far.  Some of it really pants, and some of it heart-warmingly lovely.

The horrible bits have largely revolved around me: my stress; me losing my temper; my guilt at shouting at the boys... with other challenges thrown in such as one boy drawing on the beige stair carpet with lead pencil, another boy having a complete hissy fit over something apparently tiny, and general sibling squabbles and other petty problems as well. 

BUT, as another HE Mum whose blog I love posted earlier this week, in One Of Those Days, it's how you deal with horrible days/ weeks that makes the difference.  So if I focus on the positives and brag slightly on my boys, it's not because I want you to feel inadequate (I REALLY don't!): it's because to focus on the negatives would depress me and make things worse.  I don't want to live in denial, or try to maintain an illusion of perfection - I just want to acknowledge the rotten stuff, try to learn from it - and then focus on the good stuff and acknowledge that actually, despite the stuff that I get wrong, every day that we home educate is a good day.

By the way, a lovely quote for those of you who find HE blogs discouraging at times...

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel" - Steve Furtick

So on our manic Monday, after I had a sudden and stressful need to clean the house top-to-bottom (obviously apart from the room that all the mess was shoved into!), and after the carpet graffiti 'artist' had had a long enough time-out for me to calm down, followed by him trying to clean the carpet himself (lesson in consequences of destructive behaviour - I did help him after he'd realised the seriousness of what he'd done), and after the mega tantrum had passed, and peace was restored... after all that stress, we had quite a nice afternoon: the house was now beautifully tidy, and I felt the need for a nice cosy time, for all of our sakes... so we snuggled up together on the sofa and watched a Christmas Movie with popcorn and no lights on except the twinkling tree.  Oh it was lovely: such a peace-restoring time... and actually, it was the first time this year that I have taken time to breathe deeply and enjoy the beginning of the festive season, gathering my precious ones around me and indulging in the warmth of our family closeness as we make plans and celebrate Christmas.

Tuesday started well: we were all up early, dressed and looking forward to the last Craft Club of the season - we even made some gingerbread cookies to share there.  Then we got in the car - and it wouldn't start.  Flat battery.  We were all really upset, but nothing could be done.  A taxi would have been too expensive; going by bus was too involved - by the time we got there it would have been time to come home.  So after dealing with tears and pouting, I decided we would go out for a walk to blow the cobwebs away (it was a lovely mild day) - so we walked through the local lanes to the smallholding where we buy our free-range eggs (proper free-range, not the sort that claim to be free-range in supermarkets but turn out to be a con).  Eggs purchased, we strolled home again, talked to the horses in the fields, planning Middle's birthday party next month, and I just enjoyed having Youngest's little hand in mine, while listening to Eldest and Middle have a really lovely brotherly conversation.  Peace was restored.

Home again, and having stressed myself (and the boys) silly the day before, trying to get the house immaculate, I did what any normally insane person would do: I got the glitter out (and some stencils, metallic markers etc).  Oh my goodness, we had a good time!  I deliberately made no plans, set no expectations - didn't even tell them not to waste the glitter (after all, I had bought two big tubs of it, and we're not likely to use it again this year)... we just got creative and had fun.  There was so much glitter over the bench that Youngest stood up in it and made like a camel doing a happy little sand dance.  It didn't even take that long to clean up again afterwards!  It was such a happy time, even finding the glitter today that has spread to every corner of the house makes me smile.

 

 Middle's "Christmas" and "Tree"

 

   

 Eldest's "Christmas Fish" and "Macaroni Penguins"

 

 Youngest's "Do Not Disturb" (apparently) and "Candle"

Today has happily been a bit less tempestuous.  There has been more time to notice the 'little' things from the week so far.  For example today's word play, first making a Christmas crossword on the fridge out of magnetic letters, and then a game that Eldest and Middle love, where every word has to start with the same letter (inlcuding names) - so if everything starts with P, they would call me Pummy, eating a Panana etc. Youngest (age 4) has always hated this game, especially if his brothers changed his name, but today when they played it he suddenly 'got it', and was delighted to change everyone's names, working them out for himself - he especially loved it when he got to call me 'Dummy', 'Bummy' 'Gummy' etc. He just suddenly clicked with letter sounds as components of whole words. That's proper literacy right there - but they were all just having fun playing a game (as it should be)! 

Eldest was "bored" at one point, but instead of moaning at me to find entertainment for him (he seems to have learned that that usually results in him being asked to tidy his room - spot Mummy's cunning ploy), he disappeared off to his room and invented a game that is a kind of cross between chess and Gogos (cheap weird plastic collectible figures).  He calls it 'Gogo chess', and although the name may not be very inventive, the game certainly is.  It has clear rules and is kind of and is absorbing to play... clever chappie!

And Middle has totally grown in confidence with his drawing.  He rarely wants to colour his creations in - I'm not sure if that's our of preference or because he runs out of steam, but regardless, his pictures are increasingly noticeably in detail, and more importantly, he loves it - he's found his 'happy place' - ie sat at a table (or on the floor, or leaning on a book), with a pen/ pencil in hand, drawing a picture.

  

  

 

There's another blog that I follow, and the author posted this week about criticism that she had received making her re-evaluate her home education/ lifestyle, in Still Learning.  Readers here will know how little time I have for the 'shoulds', aka, other people's narrow-minded judgements (or our own subconscious ones) on our parenting/ education/ life choices - but this lovely blogger goes further and states the things that she does value about their life.  I encourage you to have a read, it's really uplifting.  Sometimes the things that people think are important, turn out to be the least important.  And I'm not just saying that because I'm a fan of hers who aspires to a similar lifestyle!

Over all then, it's been such an up-and-down few days - a proper rollercoaster (no, I am NOT the rollercoaster-enjoying type), and it got me thinking.  We can have days that I rate as rubbish because it's too easy to fall back into schoolteacher mode, and I wobble, and make the mistake of comparing the 'labours' (or lack of) of our HE day with the labours of a typical school day - but nowadays I am getting quicker at ignoring that out-dated 'teacher-voice' because when I think of the lesson plans that I have written in the past, all of them always focused around one main point that I wanted the children to remember or achieve, if nothing else.  And if they could get that one point in a few minutes, what was the point in the rest of the lesson? (was it to fill time while their class-mates also got it? was it to keep reiterating it in different ways to make sure it really goes in, in case they weren't paying full attention?)  I look back at my own time at school and think about what I actually learned.  I learned that I'm rubbish at History, Science, Geography, Art, average at Maths, and ok with English and languages  (notice it is all performance-based, nothing to do with what did I love or what inspired me and brought me to life).  The facts that I learned I have largely forgotten - and if you ask Joe Public what he was taught at school, chances are you'll get the same response: "nothing much".  We remember the teachers, and how they made us feel.  we remember the bad ones who made us feel lower than low, and we remember the good ones, who encouraged us to reach for the stars, to believe in ourselves.  But do we remember, do my students remember those 'key points' that were the focus of each lesson plan?  Not often (and I really tried to be an inspiring teacher).  All of which brings me full-circle to now, home educating my own children.  To be frank, their appetite for learning far exceeds my ability to "teach" - and that being the case, I just need to make sure they have the resources they need to go as far as they like, unhindered by the 'single-point' focus of a lesson-plan.  If my boys are inspired and take just a few minutes to learn one piece of information or grasp a new concept or get absorbed in a new experience, why should I expect them to then spend the rest of their day in a forced learning environment?  Quite simply, there is no need.  If they then want to go on learning as much as they can about one subject, why would I try to restrict them to my idea of what they ought to achieve in one session?  Again, there is no need.  The Home Ed lark really makes a lot of sense.

Wow, what was a lengthy post!  I'll stop now... thank you for sticking with me through my rambles! 

Doing Nothing in a Festive Way

I've discovered a few set-backs to Home Education that I hadn't anticipated.  This time last year we were all at school, but Youngest and I were mornings-only, so I would bring him home at lunchtime, put him to bed for a nap, and then get the lights up ready to surprise the older boys when they came home from school later.  This year I don't get that lovely sense of looking forward to their delighted response.  However, we do have a lot more time together to just enjoy all the loveliness of the season, so I figure I can't complain really!  Also, as they are at home all the time they have persuaded me to put the tree up sooner that I usually would.  That's not such a bad thing either - I just know from experience that I usually get fed up of the decorations cluttering up the house within a couple of weeks, so it does mean I'll need to be patient, waiting for my 'undecorating' day.

The other drawback I discovered after writing my previous post: apparently the seasonal slow-down is not only common, but it seems that rather than Home Edders being all jolly at this time of year, 'tis the season to be "wobbly".  Of course, we are a pretty jolly lot - why wouldn't we be?  We get to immerse ourselves in the season as much as we like, without having to run around sorting out last-minute nativity costumes, gifts for the school staff, and enough Christmas cards for every child in the class/ school, as well as trying to persuade tired grumpy children that they do want to get up when it's dark, go to school in the cold and not come home until it's dark again.  But - the wobbles, so I am told, are really common at this time of year.  I wonder if that's a result of the slow-down.  Certainly in this house our HE experience includes a lot of getting out and about, experiencing nature etc - and I think that inevitably brings a greater sense of being in tune with the seasons.  So as I wrote previously, we have slowed down, are doing less trips out and group activities, cosying down more at home, doing more passive learning such as on the TV or computer - all of which makes it feel like we're not doing much of value - and there's no quicker way to bring on the wobbles, or make you question your ability as a home educator, than to assess your progress in terms of "haven't done much lately"  Well, the upside to that is that thanks to the lovely online communities, I am now aware that it's a common HE phenomenon - so it makes it much easier to roll with it, and give in to the desire to just hibernate.  It's just a season - and seasonal living is the most natural way to live.

So this week we're indulging ourselves in Christmas preparations.  So far we've been making LOTS of cards (it's really lovely to have the time to make them ourselves)...

my favourites are the ones at the front, made using the paper we marbled ourselves

We've been looking again at the First Christmas (using DVDs, our Playmobil nativity set etc - we liked this Beatbox version on Youtube); we've decorated the tree...

We've made Christmas biscuits from this book...



We've learned about some Christmas traditions (my current favourite one being that naughty Dutch children don't get coal in their stocking, they get taken off to Spain!); we've drawn Christmas pictures (like this one of "Fat Santa" by Middle)...

We've read christmas stories; we've listened to Christmas music and learned some Christmas songs (especially Eldest, who loves singing along to the radio)... we've even lit Christmas candles to complete the full five-senses experience! 

And if you're having a "done nothing" kind of day & are feeling inadequate in comparison to that impressive list, let me reassure you that I didn't think we'd done anything either until I wrote it down, so maybe you've done more than you think too - but even if you haven't, don't worry: it's just a seasonal thing.  Pour yourself a glass of mulled wine or raid the selection box and just enjoy your hibernation... see you in the Spring!

PS Just after I'd posted this blog entry the boys found the tinsel that we haven't used anywhere yet this year, and they started playing with it. Middle and Youngest are making letters, numbers, words etc out of it on the floor.  So of course I had to post some photos... how very HE!

 

Thank you, Christmas DVD!

Feeling a bit direction-less at the moment.  The boys are (mostly) happy carrying on with their 30minutes a day of Maths Whizz/ Reading Eggs, but they seem to have lost enthusiasm for other activities - and that may be at least partly due to my enthusiasm waning.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going off Home Education - in fact the more I think about State Education, the more huge flaws I can see in it - and the more I am convinced I want better for my boys.  But within the Home Education that we are experiencing, I'm feeling a bit dissatisfied - as if I'm missing something.

One thing that really hasn't helped is not having my laptop.  I know it sounds silly, and possibly a bit shallow - but I hadn't realised how much I got done on it while being in the same room as and instantly available to the boys of an afternoon, while they learned stuff off the TV or read books/ played/ drew etc.  Now that the only available PC is in the study, I have to choose between being with the boys or leaving them to get on with what they're doing while I grab some computer time - and that makes for dissatisifaction whichever way I go.  It's not just the blog (which I can feel slipping), nor the quick (hopefully encouraging) chats on Facebook; it's all the research I used to do without noticing at the time - finding new resources to build on whatever the boys are learning at that point, or being able to look up answers to questions there and then, etc.  I only tend to get about 1 - 1 1/2 hours to myself in the evenings once all the boys are in bed and the hedgehogs weighed & cleaned out - I can't even get the Christmas shopping done in that time, let alone research, blogs and chatting.  And as for my beloved photos - well they're all backing up on my camera's SD card.  It's going to take a very long time to go through those when I get round to it!

Anyway, enough complaining.  I'm not trying to depress myself or anyone reading - just noting it down as part of our journey - this is a "warts-and-all" account, after all!

Despite feeling a bit unsettled, we've had a lovely couple of days since I last posted.  We had a go at an "Underwater Hippo" art project from the lovely Deep Space Sparkle website, using a paint wash over oil pastels.  Previously I had been sad to miss out on making my own 'art' because I was so busy helping the boys - so this time I made sure I attempted the project alongside them. The only problem was, Youngest got a bit impatient and just did his own thing.  Actually that's not really a problem at all: it's good for him to just get a chance to try out different mediums etc, in whatever way he wants.  I have to say though, his finished result does not really resemble the hippos we were aiming at - although he said he wanted to show all the blood inside the hippo, so with that in mind, you may be better able to 'interpret' his art!

 

Eldest's Hippo                                        Middle's Hippo

 

 

Mummy's Hippo                                   Youngest's Hippo

While Eldest's paint was drying he was still in arty mode, and decided he wanted to draw a Creeper from Minecraft.  I love how he got the pixellated effect - it took quite a lot of patience.  Then Middle wanted to do some more marbling, so we got the inks out again and created lots more sheets to hopefully use on our Christmas cards...

Also this week we've been following some more familes of wild animals on the CBBC series, Wild Tales.  This time it's been about cheetahs, wolves and zebras, and today Youngest decided he wanted to be one of the cheetahs because they're so fast.  We agreed that Mummy would have to be a zebra because they're the only vegetarians on the show.  Eldest and Middle wanted to be wolves because Eldest liked the extended family and Middle thought the wolf cubs' faces were the cutest. 

While Eldest and Middle have been on their internet curricula, Youngest and I have been reading together.  He got to another stage that was slightly beyond him, so I've been looking for ways to consolidate the learning he has done so far.  He totally gets phonics from the point of view of blending sounds together, so Reading Eggs has been great for him so far.  However, he has only mastered the simple phonic sounds so far (the short vowel sounds and single letter sounds b,p,t etc)  However, he can't progress much further in Reading Eggs without mastering the digraphs that he seems to have been blustering his way past (eg 'th' - two letters that make one sound - he would sound out the t then the h, making it impossible to read the word 'the').  If he was happy to re-do lessons from earlier in Reading Eggs, I think he would pick it up quickly, but he's not interested.  Anyway, while I was looking around I found the first of the new Oxford Reading Tree Songbirds books - written by the excellent Julia Donaldson, of Gruffalo fame (amongst many other fabulous books).  I'm not usually a big fan of reading schemes, but this first book (a collection of twelve simple stories) is exactly right for Youngest.  All the other books we had were beyond him, as they introduced digraphs etc almost immediately, but this one starts off blending simpler sounds, without him having to master more complicated ones.  He is starting to show signs of recognising common words by their shapes (such as 'the'), but there's no hurry: he's a bright little thing & I know he'll get there in his own time, so for now we're just enjoying sitting down with a book and him saying "I can read this one to you Mummy!"

Oh, and other than all of the above, Christmas DVDs are now the order of the day - or afternoon!  We let the boys watch our new copy of Arthur Christmas on the long car journey to Exeter the other day, and that got them fully in the festive mood - so even though it's still only November (just), I'm going along with the holiday viewing.  I don't take much persuading really - though I still refuse to put up the tree until mid-December!  Still, thanks to today's Christmas DVD, I got to write in this 'ere blog - so not all bad, eh?

Normal Service to be Resumed Shortly

Hooray for time off!  My brain is starting to return to normal again - we've had a lovely week just enjoying being together, with no pressure - I guess it was a sort of half-term, in that we had got to a point of needing a break.  It kind of felt a little naughty, as the schools here aren't on half-term for another week and a half - but then, the boys were gearing up their 'learning' before the schools went back in September, so it's not really surprising that we were a bit tired sooner.  And anyway, one of the many things that I love about HE is that we can just take a break whenever we need to, rather than dragging our feet for weeks until we get scheduled time off :)

So anyway, if you've been following, you'll know I've been thinking about restrictions, suggestions, structure etc, and I think I've decided on the 'tweaks' that I started suspecting we needed a week ago in Not-so-helpful Suggestions. 

Firstly, we had been running a "no-screen-time until after lunch" rule, which kind of bit me on the bum as it seemed to generate a desire for screen-time AS SOON AS allowed.  I'm going to tweak that so that although Mummy will still have no laptop time before lunch (otherwise blogging/ facebook/ photobooks would leech all my time with the boys), the boys are free to watch TV/ go on the PC whenever they like.  After all, it really wasn't an issue when they were deschooling: they watched less then than they do now.  The thing I do have an issue with is the games consoles.  A chat with my wise friend helped me to realise that PC time is actually OK - pretty much the whole time they are on it, they are learning something valuable.  Games consoles however seem to shut down their ability to think creatively.  They're OK for encouraging teamwork occasionally (depending on the game), but on the whole they seem pretty mind-numbing.  So I'm not going to ban them or place set restrictions specifically - but I am hoping to just try to distract the boys away from playng on them if they are mentioned - with the aim that maybe we'll save them for weekends/ holidays... we'll see how it goes, anyway.

Secondly, I was concerned that by making suggestions so frequently, the boys were depending on me for ideas instead of thinking creatively for themselves, and finding their own inspiration.  Where I had viewed suggestions as just a verbal kind of strewing, it turns out that actually they carry more weight than books/ resources just left hanging about, as the boys perceive that I want them to do the things I'm suggesting.  And it's true, I do - although usually just because it looks like fun, and we do usually have fun - but by relying on my suggestions every day they were making noticeably less effort to discover their own interests.  It's not the worst thing in the world in terms of Home Education, but it's just not what I want for them.  So I think I'm going to restrict myself.  Some kind of schedule really does help me, albeit a very gentle, flexible one - so I think I'm going to limit my suggestions to my favourite days, Mondays, and see how it goes.  Tuesday - Friday it will be all about the boys finding/ developing their own ideas, but that still leaves me with a day when I get to suggest things that I've seen that I think they'd like that they otherwise wouldn't have thought of.  I'm not totally convinced about this, but we'll give it a go and see what we learn :)

Thirdly I was thinking about structure: the small amount of online curriculum that I ask of them.  I never get into a fight about it with them - if they really resist, I don't push it - but I do ask them to do an hour each of Reading Eggs & MathsWhizz per week, and I still feel that for us, that is about right.  I've been reading comments from people who home educate in a much-more structured way, and I have to say, it does appeal to my routine-loving teacher-head; I'm just not convinced that the boys would go for it...  actually, I'm convinced one of them would really struggle - so we're going to keep it light and do the minimum that I am happy with, leaving them the rest of the time to be as "autonomous" as they like (as long as that doesn't involve games consoles!!!)

So that's where we're at now - hooray for wobbles that cause me to step back and reboot :)  Tomorrow we have our regular '360 soft play' HE group trip, which is always lovely, and then next week is going to be really busy with Legoland (hooray for them letting Home Educators visit at school prices!), visiting best friends, HE coffee morning & Usborne book sale, barbers visit and non-school photos - so all of the above is on hold until the following week anyway, but I feel better for having had the chance to sort my brain out!

Also, today I received my copy of A Funny Kind of Education by Ross Mountney.  Ross wrote the first book I ever read on HE, Learning without School, when we were first serously considering Home Education early this year.  It was absolutely the best book I could have read at the time - answered all of our practical questions and encouraged me that we could do it.  Ross's experience as well as her practical, humorous, non-judgemental style makes her one of my favourite Home Ed authors (she has a brilliant blog too: here), so I'm really looking forward to reading this new book, a more personal account of her HE journey with her own family.  Actually *whispers* I read a few chapters earlier when the boys were occupied with other things - I couldn't resist - and I can already see that it's going to be a fun and encouraging read.  Having met Ross online since reading her first book, I know she is such a lovely person that she often reads other HE blogs and offers encouragement, so I'm fairly sure she'll be reading this, blushing away (Hi Ross, *cheeky grin*) - but this isn't flattery: I honestly and strongly recommend her books!

Finally, mini-blogger's fans will be pleased to know he has written some more in his diary (so much for my concerns in September that he wasn't interested in writing) - so I'll leave you in his entertaining little hands...

13th October
11:02am
played predator with (Middle).  I was
     1st - snowleopard
     2nd - octopus
     3rd - lion. 
     Yep, (Middle) was the prey and would not survive in the wild.

17th October
8:08am 
at the 14th, 15th and 16th I didn't feel writey!  Feel a bit writey now.

7:05pm 
normal day.  I did
two days ago - waking up, eating, sleeping
one day ago - waking up, eating, sleeping
today - waking up, eating, sleeping
tomorrow - waking up, eating, sleeping
Where's entertainment when you NEED IT!

7:26pm
calmed down
Bored, have a cold, and MESSY room.  "BOOOO!"
I'm so annoyed that my room is a mess, I'm reduced to a puddle.

7:41pm
froze to normal shape, no longer puddle

18th October
9:12am
at night, hedgehog in garden - amazing
morning, woodpecker in woods - amazing
5 min ago, tidy up - not amazing
VERY WRITEY ME

Time to Chill and Play

We had a lovely trip to a Fire Station today, organised by one of the local Home Ed mums.  Blue Watch showed us inside all the different storage parts of the fire engine, had a chat about fire safety at home, and then *cue much excitement* took us outside where all the children who wanted to had a turn at squirting water through the hose, sitting in the fire engine, and wearing a firefighter's helmet and jacket.  My boys all wanted to, and were suitably thrilled with the opportunity.  Eldest is starting to feel a bit big for those sorts of thing, and wasn't sure if he wanted to join in, but I said if he liked, I'd take a photo of him that he could then edit later at home, and he was very keen on that idea -of course, once he had his turn he thoroughly enjoyed it :)

While we ate lunch we watched our newish Human Body DVD from the Rock n Learn series.  (We've had it a while, but the boys decided they wanted to watch it yesterday & then ran out of time - so lunchtime today it was).  It is American, so many of the spellings/ pronunciations are different, but the boys really enjoyed it, so I'll be looking out for more reduced-price dvds from the same series.  Conveniently for this Human body topic that the boys are all interested in at the moment, there are TV series on both CBeebies (Get Well Soon) and CBBC (Operation Ouch!), so we've been recording those and watched some today as well :)

This afternoon Eldest was back on the computer editing his photos (like mother, like son!), and Middle wanted to cook some shortbread with me that he'd found on the CBeebies website yesterday - here (minus the glace cherries).  It was a simple enough recipe, but as we're used to following 'grown-up' recipes, the quantities made were a bit on the puny side!  Next time I'd double the ingredients.  They were yummy though, so no problems there!

 

 

Other than that, today was another lovely restful & happy day - lots of stories, cuddles and giggles, singing silly songs and experimenting with our voices, games on CBeebies, measuring each other's heads (why are retractable tape measures to irresistible to the male of the species???), watching Deadly 60 and other programmes, playing with money and so on.  And hopefully more laid-back laughter to be had tomorrow.  What was set to be a really busy week has thankfully turned out to be no more busy than normal - and it's lovely having the time just to play & have fun with my boys while my brain reboots from its most recent wobble :) 

 

In fact it's so much fun I am making a philosophy of it: wobbles = time to chill and play.   Just focusing on fun rather than on assessing what they are learning (even in a low-key way).  Trying to measure the immeasurable is so stressful - not to mention guaranteed to be inaccurate!  So I'm not bothering this week.  I doubt I'll be able to stop myself watching out for learning progress on a permanent basis, and I'm not sure that would be healthy anyway - I just need to make sure it's not stressing me out - and more importantly, that it's not stressing the boys out.  We're not in school, we don't have to wait until half-term to have a week off if we need it... have I mentioned lately how much I love this Home Ed life...?!

Deschooling Top-up

So, following on from my ponderings over structure/ suggestions/ screen-restrictions etc...

The only conclusion I am prepared to make so far is that we need a little time to top-up on our deschooling.  I am fully prepared to admit that it is I who needs more deschooling, rather than the boys - but hey, they're not going to complain if I back-off on my expectations a bit.  I still don't think we are very structured on a daily basis, but I caught myself thinking something that shocked me a bit & made me realise how much deschooling I still need (or maybe not deschooling, maybe just a slap round the head with a wet kipper...).  Prepare yourselves, perfect parents, for a shocking admission.  I was mulling over the whole quandrary of whether or not to restrict TV; whether or not to set expectations of even a small amount of time on curricular work; whether to suggest activities or let them find their own learning fun... and while it was all spinning round inside my head, I heard the thought flit across my brain: "but how do I make them learn anything?"  Aaarrrggghhh!  That is totally NOT what I want for me or my boys.  I don't want to MAKE them learn - in fact, I don't think it's even possible to MAKE someone learn something.  I suppose certain facts can be artificially imposed onto one's conscious thought by mind-numbing repetition and brain-washing - but that is not what I mean by learning.  Learning is experiential - it is expanding how we think, by way of new surroundings/ materials/ scenarios, by being exposed to different people, different ways of thinking...  and I do believe all of that -  so where did this insecure little mini-dictator spring from inside me?

Some may call this a wobble - and I do understand that the 'wobbles' are a normal part of Home Educating, that come in all sorts of guises.  Well - mostly normal: I have one friend who never seems to wobble - I think it has something to do with the fact that she was home educated herself as a child - and she just seems to radiate this confidence that her boys will be fine - because she knows she is fine, after all she survived Home Ed without being socially unskilled or incapable of finding a career :)  I would love that confidence, rather than the feeling that to Home Educate is to reinvent the wheel!  I am absolutely confident that Home Education is completely right for our family - it's just un-nerving to have little mini-dictators appearing in one's inner thought life! So, my way of dealing with my wobbly dictator (hmm, interesting image) is to ignore it.  Not deny that it is there, but pay it no attention, as to focus on it would be the quickest way to go up my own exhaust-pipe.

So my plan is as stated, to deschool myself a little more - back off on the small amount of restrictions, suggestions & expectations that we have - and just spend a week or so just enjoying my boys and reminding myself why we chose to Home Educate them.  Instead of focusing on what they are/ are not doing academically, I will celebrate their achievements and focus on true learning - giving them space to push past any boredom, discover their own enthusiasm and just value my time with them - what better gift can I give them than to enjoy being with them and enjoy what they are enjoying?  What can they possibly learn that is more important than to know that they are valuable just as they are, and that the things that they care about really do matter...

I quite like this wobble - i'm looking forward to the week ahead now :)

PS Having just read this blog post - Remember You're a Parent (Ross Mountney), the whole blog seemed to confirm what I have been thinking - thanks Ross! - and her last sentence really resonated with me: "it’s relationships that build happy and educative lives!"  How blessed I am, that I get to invest in relationships with my children.  That, above any educational philosophy, is the thing that will set my children up for a successful life :)