I need to read this again if I wobble...

It was a funny day today.  We had a delivery coming from Ikea - the shelf set we bought a few months ago worked so well, we ordered another one to try to bring order to the study.  Therefore I needed to spend most of the day sorting things out of the study so that we can get the shelf unit into it once assembled... and then filled of course.  Consequently the kitchen table is now buried under study stuff & there has been no space anywhere for the boys to 'do anything much' - except of course watch TV, draw pictures, play on the computer, pore over photos, tell each other stories, do a bit of baking, read books, make masks, and play games in the garden (and that's just the bits I noticed)!

It's something I have really appreciated about this 'term' - we've had so many interruptions to the rhythms & patterns we had been in, but in each of those interruptions, every single time I have just been easily able to spot the blessings of unstructured time.  We do usually like a little bit of structure - it works for all of us; but I am now so chilled about days without structure when needed - they are still so rich, just in different ways.

So I thought I'd share some of today's lovely little highlights (in between moving books, boxes etc)...  While the boys were watching 'Absolute Genius' (about Brunel), there was quite a bit of footage of the Clifton suspension bridge, and I was able to tell them about an ancestor of ours on my father's side who tried to kill herself in the late 1800s by jumping off the bridge, but her crinoline skirts opened up like a parachute and she floated harmlessly down to the mudflats and was rescued.  They were happy to hear that she seemed to cheer up afterwards, and lived to be an old lady.  She had a poem written about her and even has her own page on Wikipedia... The boys were enjoying the TV programme as it was, but even more so after they realised we have family links to the bridge, and such a great story too!

I also uncovered our wedding album, & had a lovely few minutes looking through it with the boys.  They loved looking at all the family twenty years ago & working out who everyone was.  There is such strength in knowing you're part of a big, supportive structure like a family - it was lovely to be able to share that with our boys today.

This afternoon I realised it was teatime and I hadn't prepared anything, being preoccupied with the study contents.  So I hastily grabbed some home-made hidden-veg sauce from the freezer and we all made our own pizzas.  We didn't have any mozzarella cheese handy, but we're all perfectly happy with cheddar - and they worked a treat.  Eldest's 'boomerang' pizza turned out particularly large, but he was happy to eat every last crumb, so no problems there! 

 top left to bottom right: Youngest, Middle (heart-shaped), Eldest, Mummy

 Afterwards we enjoyed the chocolate brownies that I had made with Youngest as a distraction from something the older two were doing earlier that was leaving him out.  Whenever one of the boys gets left out of a game I always find baking is a very acceptable consolation!

Oh, and of course we had the camera trap photos to explore.  There was quite a mystery attached to last night's photos.  The camera trap is triggered by motion, via a PIR sensor, so every time anything goes past, it is set to go off & take a quick succession of 3 pictures.  Well last night we know it was working, because first we had several lovely shots of our resident fox - and then there was a gap of an hour before another photo was taken.  Nothing unusual there - there are often gaps between creatures passing by.  However, when we checked the next photo, which seemed to have no visitor in the frame (it happens occasionally that the photo is taken a split second too late), a large number of the peanuts that we had sprinkled on the ground had mysteriously disappeared!  What a puzzle: we were baffled by how something managed to take the peanuts without triggering the camera trap.  A mouse was suggested as the culprit, but we know mice do trigger the sensor as we have a few photos of mice (well, photos of their eyeshine, anyway - they're too tiny to make out otherwise).

 

this is where the peanuts disappeared...

 and a visitor in daylight today... muntjac deer!

in fact not just one, but two!

Finally, as promised, I managed to take photos of Middle's fabulous lapbook that he completed the other day.  We used a combination of the excellent Homeschool share volcanoes lapbook templates (Middle loves the ready-printed ones), and some that we made ourselves. He is rightly proud of his work, as am I, so I'm glad to be able to share it here...

Re-focusing

Apologies for another long absence... last weekend Hubby "generously" brought home some nasty germs, and boy, did I ever succumb?!  I was completely floored for most of the week.  It was as much as I could do to get downstairs so the boys had some semblance of supervision.  They were little stars though - helped a bit more with housework, and tried not to be too noisy.  Eldest and Youngest were also fighting the lurgy for some of the week, so that slowed them down too.  So instead of the week of socialising with friends on half-term from school, we ended up at home all week, watching a lot of TV and the boys playing a lot of games.  As I said in Accidental Unschooling last month though, these kinds of hiatus are nothing to worry about.  The learning doesn't stop, just because of a change in routine.  In fact I am firmly convinced that rigid routine is more likely to hinder learning, than enable it.  It's been nice to refocus today - I think changes in routine seem to help us appreciate the routine even more...

A nice little example of this was today's MathsWhizz.  The boys - at least the older two - still have attitude issues regarding Maths from time to time - they really were put off it at school.  So today when I suggested they have a turn and they all readily agreed, I was pleased.  What I wasn't expecting was that Eldest and Middle would still be engrossed a couple of hours later on their respective computers.  They had done a few activities, and then both of them gravitated toward a kind of design board, that each of them played on for ages, coming up with quite involved games and patterns.

Eventually they left their computers to come and play with lolly sticks with Mummy.  I had read instructions in one of my favourite blogs, An Ordinary Life , for a potential & kinetic energy activity using said lolly sticks.  I knew we needed to do it asap because the minute the boys found the lolly sticks, they wanted to use them for art/ craft/ general playing.  Anyway, we laid them out as per the excellent instructions (see link above) - but didn't get all hundred sticks in place as many had been squirrelled away into secret hoards elsewhere - so we had a layout of about fifty, I reckon.  Still, it was enough - the boys were delighted with the springing action, and although I didn't get a decent photo, I think I've saved enough sticks that we can have another go soon :)

Very happily though, we do have photos of something else.  Eldest has been really inspired by watching Springwatch this year, and has got a camera trap (also known as a trail cam) - which is basically a camera, triggered to take photos when something moves past.  We gave it a trial run in the garden, and once we got it to work (it's not an expensive model), we got some lovely shots from a couple of nights ago.  Eldest is very excited (as am I!), and we can't wait to see what else we can capture on it next.  For now though, we're just pleased to have it confirmed that our local hedgehogs are still visiting the garden & it's not just the neighbourhood scavengers eating all their food!  Hopefully we'll have more exciting photos to share soon, but for now, maybe you might enjoy seeing these...

our first, naughty visitor...

hooray for the first hedgehog shot...

 

we had lots of hedgehog shots - I think two or three different hedgehogs, judging by the time stamps...

 

last one of the night (morning) - a surprise for us...

Accidental Unschooling

Apologies for not having posted sooner.  Not long after my last blog post, my much-loved Grandad died, and consequently our time since has been taken up with coming to terms with our loss.  Death is never easy - but I have been so grateful for Hubby taking time off work, and then working from home - and for friends who have come round to play with the boys so that I could be with my family during this time.  Obviously my priorities shifted for this season, and my focus temporarily moved away from the boys' education.  The lovely thing about this is that because we are not heavily structured, it had little impact on their routine. They were far more affected by my not being around so much - but having Daddy and other favourite people to play with definitely helped!
Hence today's title: we had been just starting to get back into the swing of things after the Easter holidays, but then ended up having a couple of weeks of un-planned-for 'unschooling'.  Apologies to unschoolers who know there's much more to it than just an absence of parental direction - but hopefully you know what I mean.  You see, although I wasn't able to give the boys my full attention, I was aware that even without my input, encouragement and suggestions, they were still busy learning.
They may not have done much by way of MathsWhizz or Reading Eggs, and they may have watched more Spongebob or played on the Wii more than I usually like, but they have also read a LOT of books, played in the fresh air, watched fascinating TV documentaries, applied maths to shopping trips and board games, played stimulating computer games, made their own animations, created models, had snuggly chats in the mornings, and learned more about the value of friends and family.  I LOVE this about home ed:  the learning never stops.  And on the times when the boys needed to pause to chat through their own grief or just distract themselves from everything that was going on - well they were able to do just that.  Yes I do like a bit of structure and routine.  But I also love flexibility and the way our education revolves around life, rather than the other way around. 
So this week will hopefully see a return to some kind of normal - but I will always be thankful for the blessing of accidental unschooling.

OK Days are Good

We had a real job to get going this morning.  We had arranged to go and visit friends, so no chance of a pyjama day today - not that the boys minded in the slightest, for once.  However, our usual routine seemed a bit stale today, so rather than nag them to do their 'work', when they finished their Reading Eggs(press) we had a day off lapbooking, and did some creating instead.  I asked Youngest if there was an art project on my Pinterest board that he would like to try, and he chose a lion painting, originally posted by John Post - so we all happily sat down and mixed paints, chose brushes (it's SUCH a big deal to get the right brush!?) and got started.  Youngest hadn't gone very far at all when he decided he'd rather do his own thing.  "Are you experimenting?" I asked.  His eyes lit up: "YES!", and he promptly splashed paint about, squished it between pages of paper etc, all the time checking that I could see how well his "experiment" was going... very cute.  Eldest, Middle and I dutifully finished the project originally chosen by Youngest!

 Eldest's Lion

  Middle's 'Vampire Lion' (hence the red teeth)

 Mummy's Lion

 Youngest's 'Experiments' (above and below)

Middle decided that part of belonging to his club (based in the fort, now happily situated in their bedroom) was to involve a "taste test", where everyone tries four different items of food and rates them 1-5. He wanted to make all four items at once, but as they were all dessert items (that's my boy!), I persuaded him to spread it over four days.  Today the boys wanted to make lemon and lime cheesecake from CBeebies 'I can cook', but as we had no limes, we did lemon and orange cheesecake instead.  Unsurprisingly enough, I was the only one who really liked it (it was very citrus-y), but at least they tried it!

Over lunch we watched a DVD on explorers from our Now You Know-About DVD set.  They were engrossed in the tales of Captain Cook (though Youngest wasn't impressed at his being killed by the natives) and Columbus.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: we find TV can be sooo helpful when it comes to sparking new interests.  Obviously we love books and I do strew them often - but I also love having the odd DVD up my sleeve for times when the boys feel the need to just veg out.

So today was OK!  Of course, if you just go on what I've written above (the "edited higlights" so common to blogs), you could think "wow, they do so much, I wish we could do that well" - and I'm tempted to think that myself when re-reading.  However, things have been a bit stressy here with various issues going on, and my patience level has definitely dropped.  Today hasn't been all bluebirds tweeting and harmonious laughter... there was also a fair amount of runny noses, arguing in the car, freezing temperatures and loads of mess to clear up after the 'creating'!  Anyway, just sayin': Our 'higlights' can look pretty impressive (and they do encourage me: after all, that's mainly why I blog, because it helps me to see written down what we're getting up to), but on balance, yes, today was OK.. and that's a good thing.

PS If you visit John Post's blog (follow link above), check out his "teaching philosophy" pdf - I found it quite inspiring.

"My First Lapbook"

Just a quick post today, but I had to share...

Super proud Mummy here: Youngest has completed his first ever lapbook, as started in Wednesday's post, Farty Arty.  He only took two days to do it, which was a deliberate ploy on my part as he can be impatient (he has only two settings: super-fast and focused, or asleep!) so I felt it was important for his first experience of lapbooking to not take him too long.  I was especially proud as he's not really done any "proper" writing before (I tried him on a 'learning to write' workbook a while ago, but he wasn't interested)  I'm not interested in pressuring him to write asap, but thought I'd see if he was up for it for the sake of having a lap-book that he had done most of for himself... so I did dotted lines for him to 'write' over to form his letters.  His lines are wobbly, as is to be expected really, but he sat there, little tongue stuck out in concentration, and did the whole jolly lot!  Did he form all the letters correctly?  Nope - but again, I felt it was more important that his first experience of writing was an encouraging one, rather than me insiting that he do it all "properly".  He was so chuffed with himself - he can't wait to show Daddy and the rest of the family... and for Mummy to put it in her blog to show everyone else (Daddy, don't look at the photos!)

That's it for today - I hope all of you lovely Mummies out there get properly spoiled this Sunday (I personally am thinking a lie-in would be nice - but even more than that, to not do any cooking or cleaning all day, AND not have any mess to sort out on Monday.... you're still reading, right 'Daddy'? ;)  Happy weekend, everyone!

Farty Arty

We've all been missing doing some art, and today we seized the opportunity.  Middle and Youngest couldn't wait, so first of all they grabbed the glue & glitter and had fun making a huge sparkly mess!  This led to much fun later, as Middle has started a tradition (apologies for this, but he is a boy!)  One day he decided that as Mummy is so joyful I must fart glitter!  I was so happy to be seen as joyful that I passed over the less refined (and physically impossible) aspect of the statement.  Anyway, since then, whenever he (or his brothers) see a pile of glitter in our house... well, you can guess the inevitable conclusion that is drawn!  After today's arty activities the glitter was positively heaped up, all over the kitchen, and trailed through the house... cue ecstatic laughter!  sigh.

Our art continued with some oil pastels and watercolour paints.  Previously the boys had mostly just used poster paints, so it was nice to experiment with something a bit different.  Eldest as always had a very clear idea of what he wanted to do - and he made one of my favourite ever pieces of art by him...

 Middle experimented for a while and came up with a couple of signs for his "Best Club In The World"...

 Youngest just had fun experimenting with colours, and producing his version of "modern art"...

I had a go at something that I had seen something similar to while browsing on the web the other day. Unfortunately I can't remember where I saw it, so apologies for the lack of link.  It's not how I wanted it to look,  but I've learned what to do for next time...

The rest of today was spent largely on Reading Eggspress - and in helping Youngest who has decided that he wants to do an 'Ocean Creatures' lapbook like his brothers (inspired at least partly by the glowsticks that they chose to reward themselves with for completing their lapbooks).  He is not one to procrastinate, so I spent much of the morning trying to help him find a level of activity that wasn't beyond him - and something that he could complete in a couple of days, so that he doesn't get too discouraged.  In the end we went for a simple folder that we stuck 26 flaps into (one for each letter of the alphabet) - in each flap he chose an ocean creature that began with the corresponding letter sound (the older boys and I helped with the more obscure ones like 'I for Icefish'), then I found clipart of said creatures to print on to paper, and he cut them out and stuck them into each flap.  Tomorrow we are going to write each letter onto the fronts of the flaps - and then he'll be done!  It looks great already, and he's really chuffed to have made a lapbook like his brothers!

Yesterday was much the same too - Mathswhizz, lapbooking, watching Eldest's Horrible Histories DVD over lunch at Youngest's request (hmmm, not stomach-churning at all.....) The enormous cardboard fort that still resides in the front room (blocking the view of my lovely, new, & organised shelving unit, mumble mumble) didn't get much of a look in because the weather outside was so lovely!  We were so happy to see the sun out - it feels like spring has been a long time coming this year!  We all spent as long in the garden as we could.  We didn't get to craft club again as Youngest is fighting off yet another bug, bless him, but fortunately he was well enough to get out in the garden and bounce for ages on the trampoline with his brothers - so although he can't move too far away from a toilet, his energy levels don't seem badly affected. 

Today was sadly not so warm again, (not that that stopped Youngest stripping off and streaking around the garden briefly), and we have been stuck in the house a lot more than I like lately - but no matter: we had a lovely bit of creativity together, and spring is definitely on the way!  The evenings are getting lighter, the noticeboards on facebook are starting to fill up with park visits and woodland rambles... I feel like our season of hibernation is coming to an end - hooray!

"A bad day home educating...

... is still better than a bad day at school!"  That's how the saying goes - and I'm so grateful that it's true!  To be fair, today wasn't really that bad - it was mostly down to my mood (isn't it always?)

You see, last week we had a good week.  I kept meaning to update the blog, but we were too busy or I was too tired.  Middle and Youngest started the week fighting off some kind of lurgy, but it wasn't too serious.  We had to cancel one playdate for Monday because Youngest was really miserable that day, but for the rest of the week they were OK and our time was chock-a-block full of socialising.  It was half-term for schools in Herts - and while I don't particularly feel the need to take breaks at the same time as the school holidays, it is a great opportunity for the boys to catch up with their friends who are still in school.  So we dropped all parent-led activities, and they had a lovely week full of playing with friends, playing computer games, watching TV, and just playing - while Mummy got to grips with some serious sorting out that was badly overdue!

It has been almost eleven years since I was able to just get on with tidying up etc, as ever since Eldest was born, I have had babies/ toddlers to keep an eye on.  To this day I maintain that if you have a child (or more) aged 3 or under, there is no point trying to keep a tidy house as they create chaos faster than you can sort it out!  Some children are reportedly good at entertaining themselves safely without requiring much supervision (apparently my brother-in-law as a baby could be left in a room playing with toys and when his Mum came back into the room he would be exactly where she left him... I cannot even begin to imagine it!)  None of mine were like that - and especially not Youngest!  However, now he has reached the grand old age of four, he is calming down slightly.  He even voluntarily took my hand and walked with me instead of running off the other day while we were out shopping (I was simultaneously shocked and thrilled).  So anyway, now he is slowing down a little I have found myself better able to get on with jobs around the house while he is happily occupied elsewhere.  Of course, my ears are on high-alert like ultra sensitive satellite dishes so that if it goes ominously quiet I can leap into search-and-retrieve mode immediately - but the fact is, last week I not only maintained the necessary level of housework but also got some boxes of stuff sorted (y'know - the "stuff" that gets shoved in a box/ cupboard/ shelf/ room somewhere in a hurry when people drop by, and then stays in said box for weeks... months... (years?) on end).  I was greatly pleased with myself!

By the weekend though, I confess I was really tired from all the hosting playdates, tidying/ sorting  and being solely responsible for the boys all week as Hubby had had a really busy week of very long days at work.  So by Saturday we were both fairly wiped out, and somehow managed to not only do hardly any tidying up all weekend, but also not have any family time together in the great outdoors.  Big mistake.  Today I woke up to a kitchen full of mess, an erupting laundry bin and a house-full of inhabitants who are going more than a bit stir-crazy.  Enter the "bad day home educating": I just want to be outside, walking through my beloved woods, not stuck indoors moving from dishwasher to washing machine and back again (although I am really grateful for said machines of course).  However, the boys are adamant that it is Monday and therefore pyjama day - grrrrrr, for once I am not having such a lovely Monday!  I'm trying not to be grumpy Mummy, but I do feel really cooped up.  Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle as to persuade the boys to get dressed and go outdoors would take a lot of 'jollying along' - and jolly seems to have disappeared from my repertoire today. I have suggested going to the park a couple of times but they're not keen (except Youngest, bless him) - and I know if I tried to force it, it would turn into a major battle.  Hey ho - at least we can go out tomorrow!

It has to be said - in "educational terms" the boys have done just fine: they've all had some time on Reading Eggs(press); Eldest and Middle have spent some time on their lapbooks; Youngest did a jigsaw puzzle and made a marble run; we all experimented with separating colours using felt pens and filter paper - a good day really.  However, the Reading Eggspress was more taxing than I expected as they all hit issues and needed my input (Eldest needed me to find the right books; Middle got too many answers wrong on his comprehension bit so had to redo it (which is never encouraging) - he did fine the second time though as doing it with me makes him slow down and read the questions properly; Youngest managed to accidentally switch off our ancient home computer three times!  Given that it takes 20-30 minutes to get from 'start' to having loaded an online programe, that was enormously frustrating)  Eldest is starting a new lapbook and even though he already knew what subject he wanted to do (Life in the Rainforest) it took him ages to get started as he kept hitting problems with loading Youtube clips of his chosen creatures or finding a good photo for the cover etc.  Middle is just finishing his 'My Body' lapbook - having had a week off he had run out of momentum on it, but we think it's important that they learn to see jobs through to completion, so I shamelessly bribed him with a glowstick from their treasure box of goodies-they-receive-for-doing-good-work (their idea, not mine), and eventually he did a bit more - hooray!  Hopefully it will be finished soon!  Oh, and the lovely ink/water experiment didn't work as well as the examples show in the book, although the boys thought it was cool - and it didn't go down well when somebody knocked over the glass of inky water all over Mummy's lap just when I was trying to tidy up!

Big sigh.  Never mind!  I hope I haven't depressed you... I wanted to be honest and faithfully record the ups and downs of home educating - but at the end of the day, that saying is true: a bad day home educating really is still better than a bad day at school.  Bad days at school never left space for precious cuddles with loving little boys; at school we couldn't make allowances for feeling tired/ fed up, and adjust our workload accordingly; if we'd been at school that mountain of washing-up & laundry would still have been waiting for me when I got back, even more exhausted than I started the day.  If Middle had had to redo a lesson in school he would have ground to a halt, he was so low in confidence.  At least today he was happy to try again with me next to him - that's real progress!  They are not being asked to do mindless exercises; they are not having their behaviour scrutinised; they are not subject to the anti-social pressures of hostile peers; they are not being tested on things that will be forgotten after the tests are completed.  They are free to learn through play and exploration; they have space to move about and stretch; if they want to spend hours on end just experimenting with their camera (Middle this afternoon) they can.  Even though Mummy has had her grumpy moments today, they are still in an environment where their worth as individuals is unquestioned and they are loved for being who they are.  It's got to be said - for all my petty complaints, that's still a pretty good day!

Gentle Pace = Time to Focus

I'm really enjoying getting back into the gentle swing of things.  Christmas and the New Year was even more chaotic than usual, with an increase in parties, plus a few family members needing surgery/ medical tests etc - oh, and we went to the local pantomime, which the boys loved, but then we lost Youngest after (it was late, and his tiredness combined with pantomime-induced excitement sent him even loopier than his normal energetic state.  He didn't want the experience to end, and the only way he found to protest at our leaving was to do a runner.  At least ten minutes of searching later, and he was eventually found outside the theatre!  You know, I really value his zest for life and unquenchable determination - they are such great qualities to have - but sometimes he makes me look with admiration (and sympathy) not at the great explorers and adventurers of history, but rather their mothers, who must have wondered at times if their unstoppable youngsters would ever make it to adulthood!

Anyway, I digress.  He was returned to us (still in full-on stroppy mode), we got the boys home and into bed as quickly as possible - and then sat and stared at inane TV while our adrenaline levels returned to normal!  Since then, things have calmed considerably.  The family members undergoing surgery and tests are all doing well, and I am really grateful for the slightly manic cleaning that I did right at the start of the year.  My house is clean and tidy (apart from the obligatory room-whose-door-must-remain-shut-at-all-times-to-hide-the-accumulated-junk) - and as I blogged in early September, it makes a HUGE difference to me.  We are back in our lovely routine of getting up; making sure bedrooms are tidy before going downstairs; having breakfast (without the TV going on first), and then having the day stretching ahead of us, full of possibilities, with only a few daily chores that we all share.  I can't really explain how peaceful it makes things for me, but I just knew from the beginning of last term that if this term was to get off to a good start, we would need a tidy house.  As soon as it gets beyond a certain level of mess, I seem doomed to spend my time endlessly trying to catch up on tidying and never actually getting to focus on the boys.

Anyway, so that is I've been doing: focusing on the boys.  Other than a mercifully successful (and therefore short) shopping trip this morning (Middle and Youngest have both suddenly and strangely ran out of socks), we have been at home, enjoying hanging out together.  Often this involves learning academically: such as my having one-on-one time with both Middle and Youngest at different parts of today, showing Youngest how to form letters, and helping Middle to make a start with cursive letters, and Eldest showing me part of a grasshopper leg and bicarbonate of soda (his favourite experimental material) through his new microscope (fab Christmas present).  There was also time spent learning valuable life skills: such as when wanting to negotiate for the game any one of them wants to play, they are (slowly) learning that gentle persuasion and kind words are more effective than shouting and dictating... also that working together makes a team more likely to conquer a certain difficult level on a computer game than getting frustrated and shouting if one's brother doesn't do what he "should"! (imagine that!).

Oh, and I received a parcel in the post that I'm very excited about... it's a nesting box with a built-in webcam!  We can put it up in our garden, hope for some bluetits (or similar) to move in - and then ideally via my laptop screen, watch them raise a family...!  We loved the nest cams that we followed last year - but how much more exciting to have our 'own' birds to follow!  I can't wait to get it up outside...

Things I Learned Today

I learned a few things today, some of which have changed the way I see things.  As you will know if you read yesterday's post, I have been feeling bad about how stressed I've been, shouting at the children at times etc.  Last night I was asking myself why I was so stressed, and came to the conclusion that as I didn't stop to process the whole asthma thing with Youngest when it happened, I just went into 'coping mode', and since the nurse has now said it was probably just a viral wheeze, not full-on asthma, maybe I'm just dealing with delayed stress.  Anyway, I was telling that to a friend this morning and I learned again the value of friendship, epsecially with people who know a bit of your history.  She looked straight at me and said, "well it is that time of year" - and the penny dropped.  You see, I've had two miscarriages - the first one saw me in hospital on Christmas Eve, with the staff trying to stop the hemorrhaging while a band played 'Away in a Manger' to the ward outside my room.  The second one was my baby whose due date was Christmas Eve.  So - it's a difficult time of year for me, and although I made a conscious choice at the time that I refuse to let all my Christmases be ruined for the sake of my children and everyone around me, it is true to say that every year the grief sneaks up and bites me on the bum, so to speak.  Grief manifests in so many different ways for every person, but for me in this case, it usually appears as a build-up of stress that sneaks up on me subconsciously, until I register what's going on, acknowledge my babies who aren't with me (usually have a little weep), and then usually feel more peaceful again.  So I learned again that it's time to be kind to myself.

I've learned that those who truly love you are really accepting of you, just the way you are - and boy, do I appreciate that!

I learned that even when you go back to the dentist to have another mould made for your new crown, it still doesn't guarantee that it will fit well.

I also learned that I've been so busy and preoccupied that I've gone and missed the last posting date for Christmas cards!  I guess our friends and relatives are going to be getting late ones this year.  Kicking myself a bit, but there's nothing I can do about it now  - I'm going to be kind to myself!

I learned that cancer isn't that easy to get rid of (not me, but a family member)

I learned that when someone shouts at Eldest, he looks like he's not bothered, but his behaviour goes a bit loopy afterwards.  I learned that when someone shouts at Middle, he takes it on himself to try to make everyone happy again (such a middle child thing!).  While this understanding makes me sad (especially in the light of this week), all understanding of how your child works is a positive thing.  I'm not going to give myself a hard time about the past few days, I'm being kind to myself - and actually, that makes it so much easier to be extra kind to the boys too.

So I'm taking a break (I learned that lesson in the summer, and am revisiting now).  Our holidays don't look all that different from term-time - the boys will still be free to explore and create wherever inspiration takes them, but I will be relaxing the expectation on the boys to do Maths-Whizz/ Reading Eggs, and basically just not being so much 'on duty', feeling the need to be aware of their 'learning' all the time.  Also I'm going to have time off blogging - simply because we're going to be very busy for a week or so now...

So that's me, I'm off for a bit.  I know this post hasn't been all sunshine and laughter, but don't worry, I have three 'babies' here to cuddle, I have good friends and family around me - and as Christians, it is a blessing for us spiritually too... and I simply love it!  So I leave you with my Christmas gift to you: the easiest recipe in the world for making a last-minute tasty snack (we made them the other day & were very glad we did - yummy)!

Cheat's Cheese Straws

Ingredients:
ready-made puff pastry
bowl of grated cheese

Heat the oven to 180C (ish)

Method:
1) roll the puff pastry into a rectangle shape
2) sprinkle grated cheese over half the pastry
3) fold it in half
4) repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 a few times
5) cut into straws or use pastry cutters to make shapes
6) bake for about 10 mins, or until they look cooked (golden-brown on top)

Try not to eat them all at once.

 

So wherever you are, and whatever you're dong, I hope you all have a happy Christmas, and a prosperous New Year!  See you in 2013...

PS This will make you laugh: I also learned that if you try to blog while making the tea, you could end up with soggy pasta and burnt pasta sauce!  Merry Christmas everyone :) xxx

 

Routine, please...

I saw a cartoon last week that goes as follows:
"I love routine.
Until I'm bored, then I love excitement.
Until I'm overwhelmed, then I love routine."
I can't think of any other way to sum up my experience of Home Education so succinctly - and right now I am well-and-truly in the 'overwhelmed & craving routine' phase.  For weeks I have been saying "next week we'll get back to normal"  Now I know there's not really any such thing as normal - but some good ole reliable routine is what I've been after - and no, I still haven't got it.  A series of downright inconvenient interruptions have conspired to keep me away from the routine I'm hoping for...

Firstly, my laptop broke down.  This is the main reason for my not being on here for so long.  I can use eldest's computer in the study, but this removes me from the front room where the boys do most of their hanging out, learning, playing etc - so that's not so good until after they are in bed, at which point I have had LOADS to catch up on & not enough time. 

Then the project I had on last week took even longer once my laptop died - finally being completed early this week, so I will hopefully have spare time again (well - spare time as in time to blog, clean, plan etc)...

Also, last week we had the most gorgeous interruption to routine that came in the shape of a hedgehog.  Knowing that hedgehogs are generally in trouble in this country, and being the lovers of wildlife that we are, we have been keeping an eye out for our regular nocturnal visitors, and weighing them (they have to be 600g or more for them to survive hibernation - if interested in helpng hedgehogs, you can get good advice here).  The first hedgie we weighed was over 900g, so no worries there - but the second one was 407g & therefore not big enough to survive without help, so we took him in & started phoning round for a place to take him.  What we hadn't realised was that there have been a great deal of late litters this year, and all the local shelters were full - so we realised we'd have to give it a go looking after him ourselves.  I wasn't keen on the responsibility of rehabilitating a wild animal with no previous experience, but we all fell in love with "Tiny" as we named him, and promptly researched as much as we could, drilled holes into the lid of a plastic storage box, lined it with newspaper plus hay and leaves, added some water and cat food + hedgie food - and committed to weighing him & cleaning him every night until he reached the desired weight.  Unfortunately he just didn't put weight on, and after a week without real success I regretfully decided he would be better off in a proper 'hedgehog hospital', so we rang around some more and finally found someone to take him in yesterday.  I'm relieved that he will be getting expert help, but we really miss him - and Eldest has been leaving forlorn little commemorations around the place. Talk about tugging at the maternal heart-strings!

As if that wasn't enough upheaval, we had a fun weekend away visiting some lovely friends, which was planned - so all well there, and much fun was had with tractors, fireworks and exploring the beautiful Pensthorpe Nature Reserve - but on Sunday Youngest started having problems with his breathing. I resolved to take him to our local out-of-hours surgery on the way home, but when we phoned them they wanted to send an ambulance.  As we were by then only ten minutes away we drove to A&E ourself, where I spent the next six hours while they stabilised his breathing again.  He had never been diagnosed with asthma, and it seemed to appear out of the blue... it was pretty horrid, really, even though it wasn't what one would call a bad attack.  Hubby has lived with asthma all his life, and we know it's manageable, but it still upset me.  Hopefully I will learn to resist the temptation to become an obsessive, over-protective Mama - but right now I'm still slightly traumatised from seeing my baby in a hospital bed, unable to breathe clearly.  Still, children that young don't know how to do 'being ill', so despite his wheezing etc he had a lovely time using the disposable sick bowl as a hat, charming the nurses, putting stickers over his new inhaler spacer, and eventually trying to work out what all the knobs and levers did on the bed - at which point I knew he was about well enough to go home!
Incidentally, while we were there one of the nurses made some comment about whether Youngest was in school yet, and when we mentioned home education there was a slight awkward pause - I could almost hear him mentally writing it on our notes for follow-up.  If we get a call from the LEA shortly, we'll know why!
Anyway, Youngest is doing much better now (my emotions are taking a bit longer to recover - I coped fine while we were there; as usual it was only afterwards that I just wanted to cry - delayed shock I guess), and he was thrilled when we went to the chemist today to get a new inhaler, and we found & bought a cheap toy doctors kit.  Bring on the role play!

So, all of the above has left me craving some "boredom"!  I haven't been paying attention to the boys' learning, so feel like I'm failing them somehow (not too seriously though - I'll get over that feeling soon enough, I'm sure).  Eldest has been devouring books and documentaries on TV; Middle has been reading too, and drawing endless pictures, and Youngest has just been exploring everything he can get his hands on.  I'm not sure I dare suggest that "next week we'll be back to normal" - but it would be nice!

"Iceberg Land" by Middle

- prompted by "Operation Iceberg" that we watched on catch-up TV today. 

You need to have seen the programme to appreciate the detail that went into this - eg that's not scribble on the left; it's an artist's impression of the enormous dirty, crumbling glacier about to give birth to an iceberg.  The fish, whale, narwhal & submarine are all artistic license, but proud Mummy moment for his putting them in the correct habitat ;)

 

"Owl for Mummy" by Middle