So this is it: apart from the really unfortunate, children all over the country are now on school holidays. And home educators - who spend their normal lives bristling every time somebody suggests that Home Ed'ors are unsocialised - are retreating from the favoured haunts of playparks and cheap days out as there are 'too many people there'. Actually, it's not necessarily the volume of people that's the issue (although who wouldn't prefer to visit somewhere when it's not packed with crowds?) - it's the fact that the behaviour of some schoolchildren is distinctly anti-social. So we head to quieter places and playdates for the summer hols.
I have to say, even though we do still observe school holidays mostly as the boys have friends who are at school, so there are opportunities to play that they would otherwise miss out on - technically, our "term" has not quite finished. You see, at the moment, Eldest and Middle are still in the middle of their lapbooks (Youngest has finished his), so they are still doing a bit each day until those are finished (more because I want them to learn the character strength of finishing what they start than for an academic reason). Personally I can't wait for the boys' lapbooks to be done. If it were me I would just sit down and take as long as it took to get the whole things finished, all in one go. Not Eldest and Middle though - they are still plodding on a bit at a time while Mummy grits her teeth and learns more patience! But when they are finished? Well, then, we will all be on our "unschool holidays".
Unschoolers, I believe, see very little difference between term-time and holidays as dictated by the local schools: all play is learning, and all learning is play - their children are free to explore, play, create, any time of the day, day of the week or month of the year. However we, although we may not have much structure, we do have a very little as outlined in This is Our Home Ed Style. And that little bit of structure is what we drop during the holidays.
We will have six weeks (or maybe five if these jolly lapbooks take much longer) of no MathsWhizz, no Reading Eggs, no lapbooks, no 'educational' activities suggested by Mummy. The boys will be free to play and I will be free to not think about what learning opportunities they are experiencing. It will be our version of unschooling - a season of playing, exploring, creating etc, just as they like. It may not look very different to our usual days - their required "work" really does not usually take them that long before they're off doing their own thing - but it will be different enough.
And the thing that will make the most difference to me? I will hopefully get the chance to get back on top of the housework. There are a couple of mess-magnet areas that really need clearing, but I only usually have time free to just stay on top of the everyday housework - laundry, dishwashing, preparing meals etc (on a good day), not tackle piles of mess as well - because although the boys' required work doesn't take them very long, I need to be available to help all three of them every morning - and that is rarely conducive to getting any of my own work done.
So here's hoping that next time I blog the lapbooks will be done and we'll be on our Unschool Holidays!
Showing posts with label socialisation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label socialisation. Show all posts
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
You Can Do It Too!
It's that time of year again: Facebook walls covered with two main subjects: parents boasting on their children's unfailingly glowing school reports, and the onset of school holidays (viewed with great rejoicing or trepidation, depending on your age and/ or viewpoint).
I was going to write a "end of term report" for my boys, but all I could think to comment on was their 'creative' approach to school uniform, swinging as it does from PJs to Sith apprentice garb, to full-on nudity (what can I say? It's been hot!) Don't get me wrong: we've had a great year, I just don't have it in me to go back into teacher-mode as measurer of the unmeasurable (learning). So no 'school report' here this year.
One of the other phenomena familiar to home educators is the glut of new people considering HE at this time of year. It's like the 'back to school' signs which are already in the shops before the holidays have properly started have prompted some to say "Enough already! No more will your new books, sharpened pencils and pristine school uniform tempt me to send my child back to school". Their children's relief at the onset of the school holidays just shows how exhausted and discouraged they have become. Obviously not all... some thrive in school - but many don't. So this post is for those who may be considering Home Ed: to try to answer a few of the more common concerns, before the holiday is over and you fall for that malignant hope "maybe it will be better next term" (reality check: sorry, but that's unlikely).
Socialisation.
There is an important difference between socialisation (learning crucial social skills) and socialising (hanging out with their friends)
Your child will not experience socialisation (first definition) in school. They learn to run in a pack. They learn about peer pressure and conformity. Some (more than we care to admit) learn about bullying and victimisation. A child learns social skills primarily by the example of their family, and secondly by being given opportunities to mix with people of varying ages, abilities, passions. That is a definite strength of Home Education.
They may well have more opportunities to socialise (second definition) in school, and for those sociable children (like Eldest) who thrive on being with their friends every day, HE can take some adjusting. But in most parts of the country there are plenty of opportunities to meet and play with other home educators - just type your area into Facebook or Yahoo and you'll see what I mean.
PS If your child is not the obviously sociable sort that thrives on being with lots of friends, forcing them into a large group is more likely to make them even more introverted than bring out a previously unseen social side. Some children - and adults - are happier with the company of a few others at a time. That's OK.
Expense.
Home Education does not have to be expensive. Some of us (I hold my hand up here) don't always succeed in resisting the many bargains listed online by the Book People or in shops like The Works... and if you want to follow a certain programme (whether single subjects online or whole-year printed curriculum), then the cost can add up. BUT it can be done at very low cost: you just need paper, pencils, and somewhere to store their "work". A library card is a must-have, and I would find it very difficult to do what we do without an internet connection and printer. But other than that, the rest is really up to you. No uniforms, shoes, PE kit, lunch bags, school trips to pay for. You may even save money (and don't forget, we get to take off-peak holidays... not to be sniffed at)!
Qualifications.
Whose? The child's? It is perfectly possible for a child to be educated at home and still gain GCSEs, A-levels etc, if that is what you/ they want. There are plenty of people out there who have done just that and can help you to do the same. On the other hand some have skipped the qualification hurdle and gone straight into their area of interest/ expertise. No other education provides so much scope for being tailored to the child's individual needs and skills, right up to adulthood.
If you (or those around you) are concerned about your own lack of qualifications to teach - don't be. You can do it. Home Education is just an extension of good parenting in my opinion. You get to know your child: who they are; what their strengths are; how they learn best... and you do what you can to help them grow. If, as they get older, they reach an age where their abilities have outstripped your ability to learn with them, well that is what tutors are for. As long as you are interested in them, the rest just kind of flows. And don't forget, there is a HUGE home ed community out there, just itching to help and encourage you if and when you hit a sticky patch.
Stress.
I used to think (and say) that the parents who missed their kids when they went to school were the ones who were the most natural home educators. And that may still be true, to a degree. But a close friend recently confessed to me that they were always relieved to see their child go back to school - and I was confused because in my opinion that person is a great parent. Then a conversation with a friend helped me to see that my view had been too narrow. Yes, it can be stressful being 'on duty' all the time - pretty much every home educator I know dreams of having a couple of hours off every now and then. But the stresses of home ed are NOTHING like the stresses of parenting a child who is unhappy in school. From my experience (and the experience of others I know), when a child is struggling in school, it changes their personality - and that in turn changes the whole family's home life. When we took Middle out of school, within a couple of months he was a completely different person - relaxed, more confident, less "difficult", much less likely to argue or get upset. My relationship with him changed from one where I was always trying to manage his behaviour, to one where I just enjoyed hanging out with him, and got to see all his lovely qualities again. So although I never really experienced the relief of sending your children back to school (maybe because that always meant I was back at work too), I understand how people can feel a sense of gratitude for not having to deal with all the stress full-time. It's just that once you home ed, it's never the same. Life is so much more chilled now... and that's coming from someone with three young, very lively boys, and a husband who works long hours away from home. Stress schmess - I wouldn't miss my kids' childhood.
So those are the four obvious areas that seem to come up often. I'm sure there will be others that are more or less significant for different people, but as I said to a friend earlier, if you are getting stressed out about the negatives, you need to focus on your vision for your child. What is it that you want for them? To be relaxed? confident? free to follow their interests? Happy? Is their school experience helping them on their way? If yes, great! If not - then maybe Home Ed is for you... worth further consideration at least!
PS If further consideration is what you are after, I can gladly recommend Ross Mountney's excellent book "Education without School". As I have said before, it was the first book I ever read specifically on home education - it answered all of my immediate questions, reassured me that it was a viable form of learning, and encouraged me that I could do it. And if I can do it, you can do it too! Go for it!
I was going to write a "end of term report" for my boys, but all I could think to comment on was their 'creative' approach to school uniform, swinging as it does from PJs to Sith apprentice garb, to full-on nudity (what can I say? It's been hot!) Don't get me wrong: we've had a great year, I just don't have it in me to go back into teacher-mode as measurer of the unmeasurable (learning). So no 'school report' here this year.
One of the other phenomena familiar to home educators is the glut of new people considering HE at this time of year. It's like the 'back to school' signs which are already in the shops before the holidays have properly started have prompted some to say "Enough already! No more will your new books, sharpened pencils and pristine school uniform tempt me to send my child back to school". Their children's relief at the onset of the school holidays just shows how exhausted and discouraged they have become. Obviously not all... some thrive in school - but many don't. So this post is for those who may be considering Home Ed: to try to answer a few of the more common concerns, before the holiday is over and you fall for that malignant hope "maybe it will be better next term" (reality check: sorry, but that's unlikely).
Socialisation.
There is an important difference between socialisation (learning crucial social skills) and socialising (hanging out with their friends)
Your child will not experience socialisation (first definition) in school. They learn to run in a pack. They learn about peer pressure and conformity. Some (more than we care to admit) learn about bullying and victimisation. A child learns social skills primarily by the example of their family, and secondly by being given opportunities to mix with people of varying ages, abilities, passions. That is a definite strength of Home Education.
They may well have more opportunities to socialise (second definition) in school, and for those sociable children (like Eldest) who thrive on being with their friends every day, HE can take some adjusting. But in most parts of the country there are plenty of opportunities to meet and play with other home educators - just type your area into Facebook or Yahoo and you'll see what I mean.
PS If your child is not the obviously sociable sort that thrives on being with lots of friends, forcing them into a large group is more likely to make them even more introverted than bring out a previously unseen social side. Some children - and adults - are happier with the company of a few others at a time. That's OK.
Expense.
Home Education does not have to be expensive. Some of us (I hold my hand up here) don't always succeed in resisting the many bargains listed online by the Book People or in shops like The Works... and if you want to follow a certain programme (whether single subjects online or whole-year printed curriculum), then the cost can add up. BUT it can be done at very low cost: you just need paper, pencils, and somewhere to store their "work". A library card is a must-have, and I would find it very difficult to do what we do without an internet connection and printer. But other than that, the rest is really up to you. No uniforms, shoes, PE kit, lunch bags, school trips to pay for. You may even save money (and don't forget, we get to take off-peak holidays... not to be sniffed at)!
Qualifications.
Whose? The child's? It is perfectly possible for a child to be educated at home and still gain GCSEs, A-levels etc, if that is what you/ they want. There are plenty of people out there who have done just that and can help you to do the same. On the other hand some have skipped the qualification hurdle and gone straight into their area of interest/ expertise. No other education provides so much scope for being tailored to the child's individual needs and skills, right up to adulthood.
If you (or those around you) are concerned about your own lack of qualifications to teach - don't be. You can do it. Home Education is just an extension of good parenting in my opinion. You get to know your child: who they are; what their strengths are; how they learn best... and you do what you can to help them grow. If, as they get older, they reach an age where their abilities have outstripped your ability to learn with them, well that is what tutors are for. As long as you are interested in them, the rest just kind of flows. And don't forget, there is a HUGE home ed community out there, just itching to help and encourage you if and when you hit a sticky patch.
Stress.
I used to think (and say) that the parents who missed their kids when they went to school were the ones who were the most natural home educators. And that may still be true, to a degree. But a close friend recently confessed to me that they were always relieved to see their child go back to school - and I was confused because in my opinion that person is a great parent. Then a conversation with a friend helped me to see that my view had been too narrow. Yes, it can be stressful being 'on duty' all the time - pretty much every home educator I know dreams of having a couple of hours off every now and then. But the stresses of home ed are NOTHING like the stresses of parenting a child who is unhappy in school. From my experience (and the experience of others I know), when a child is struggling in school, it changes their personality - and that in turn changes the whole family's home life. When we took Middle out of school, within a couple of months he was a completely different person - relaxed, more confident, less "difficult", much less likely to argue or get upset. My relationship with him changed from one where I was always trying to manage his behaviour, to one where I just enjoyed hanging out with him, and got to see all his lovely qualities again. So although I never really experienced the relief of sending your children back to school (maybe because that always meant I was back at work too), I understand how people can feel a sense of gratitude for not having to deal with all the stress full-time. It's just that once you home ed, it's never the same. Life is so much more chilled now... and that's coming from someone with three young, very lively boys, and a husband who works long hours away from home. Stress schmess - I wouldn't miss my kids' childhood.
So those are the four obvious areas that seem to come up often. I'm sure there will be others that are more or less significant for different people, but as I said to a friend earlier, if you are getting stressed out about the negatives, you need to focus on your vision for your child. What is it that you want for them? To be relaxed? confident? free to follow their interests? Happy? Is their school experience helping them on their way? If yes, great! If not - then maybe Home Ed is for you... worth further consideration at least!
PS If further consideration is what you are after, I can gladly recommend Ross Mountney's excellent book "Education without School". As I have said before, it was the first book I ever read specifically on home education - it answered all of my immediate questions, reassured me that it was a viable form of learning, and encouraged me that I could do it. And if I can do it, you can do it too! Go for it!
Monday, 21 January 2013
Party Weekend
Wow, busy few days! It was Middle's birthday this weekend, so since Friday its all been about getting ready for the celebrations. He had a party on Saturday afternoon - I don't know whether that was more for him or me, as last year's party for him was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back for me, regarding school. It was when he invited his entire (small) class to his party - he's not the sort of child to leave anyone out - but to cut a long story short they basically (with one beautiful exception) boycotted his party. That was my penny-dropping-with-a-loud-clang moment: I knew of Home Ed and definitely liked the idea, but I had bought into the socialisation ideal of school life - and at that point (when I heard that one of his "friends" was persuading their peers not to go to the party) I realised what a fallacy the socialising argument was - I had sent the boys to school so they could make friends and have fun social experiences, but for Middle at least it was quite the opposite. It was tortuous to watch and obviously I still haven't quite got over it. Judging from his behaviour (showing increased social anxiety) in the few days leading up to his party I would guess that he hadn't forgotten either. So it was such a joy to have a really lovely party this year. Considering the dreadful weather and road conditions, the fact that only one of the invitees couldn't make it speaks volumes. He had so many people he wanted to invite, I even had to restrict numbers, as there's only so much our house will take! And they were all happy to come, happy to join in and make it a lovely day for Middle. Perfect!
Other than the party planning there have obviously been lots of wintry excursions: snowball fights, sledging etc. And speaking of making the most of the weather, a few weeks ago we made some giant ice marbles to put in the garden when the temperatures dropped below freezing - and we used them this weekend to decorate outside for Middles party. Making them was a bit trial-and-error - we eventually got them to work by putting a squirt of food colouring directly into the deflated balloon, then putting the neck of the balloon over the end of the tap and filling it with water that way (holding it so the weight didn't pull it off). We tied knots in the balloon necks and put them in our freezer. Friends who have also made them have tried freezing theirs in the garden once the temperatures dropped below zero, but I have heard that freezing them this way takes several days, and you can still risk having them explode due to not being fully frozen - so we recommend the freezer route (although of course, they may take several days in the freezer too)!
.JPG)
When not outside we've been enjoying lots of snuggly time indoors, including TV time, which led on Thursday to a lovely little project. As you may well know, we record plenty of programmes from the BBC2 learning zone, as well as CBBC and others, for learning purposes. Then it is up to the boys to choose whatever takes their interest. Last week it included an episode of "Finding Stuff Out" on volcanoes. Well that set off the day's activities nicely for Eldest and Middle. They drew some volcano pictures, they read the books we had at home, Volcanoes and Horrible Geography's Violent Volcanoes - and I found a lovely workbook resource on Volcanoes, from the TES website. (You have to be a member to download their resources, but it's totally worth joining for hundreds of great ideas, plus it's informative those of us who like to keep up to date with education in this country...). I said to the boys that they could do as much or as little as they liked of the workbooks, I just thought it would be interesting for them. Eldest whizzed through his, and loved it. Middle took his time and stopped when he'd had enough - he can pick it up again later if he likes. We could have made our own volcanoes (we have a bottle of red fizzy drink and mentos in the cupboard), but with all the snow on the ground expected to stay for at least a week, I didn't want the garden to look like a bloodbath for that long with red splashes all over the once-pristine whiteness! It sounds silly, but I know it would bother me... so we will be revisiting volcanoes at least once again soon, after the snow has all gone!
Following on from the theme, there's a programme on CBBC at the moment called "Fierce Earth" - the episode we watched today was about hurricanes,and we had a good chat about why the eye of the storm is safer than being on the edge, ranging from spinning tops to centrifugal force etc. Also today we watched some clips of my favourite owl, the great grey owl, like this one - and then we got the sketching pencils out. We've got a set ranging from 5H - 5B, and we definitely need to practice with them, to get the full benefit of the range. Youngest wasn't really in drawing mood today (he was off playing with some of Middle's birthday presents), but the others loved experimenting with the soft smudgy look, and produced some lovely pictures of the owl hunting in the taiga.
Other than the party planning there have obviously been lots of wintry excursions: snowball fights, sledging etc. And speaking of making the most of the weather, a few weeks ago we made some giant ice marbles to put in the garden when the temperatures dropped below freezing - and we used them this weekend to decorate outside for Middles party. Making them was a bit trial-and-error - we eventually got them to work by putting a squirt of food colouring directly into the deflated balloon, then putting the neck of the balloon over the end of the tap and filling it with water that way (holding it so the weight didn't pull it off). We tied knots in the balloon necks and put them in our freezer. Friends who have also made them have tried freezing theirs in the garden once the temperatures dropped below zero, but I have heard that freezing them this way takes several days, and you can still risk having them explode due to not being fully frozen - so we recommend the freezer route (although of course, they may take several days in the freezer too)!
.JPG)
When not outside we've been enjoying lots of snuggly time indoors, including TV time, which led on Thursday to a lovely little project. As you may well know, we record plenty of programmes from the BBC2 learning zone, as well as CBBC and others, for learning purposes. Then it is up to the boys to choose whatever takes their interest. Last week it included an episode of "Finding Stuff Out" on volcanoes. Well that set off the day's activities nicely for Eldest and Middle. They drew some volcano pictures, they read the books we had at home, Volcanoes and Horrible Geography's Violent Volcanoes - and I found a lovely workbook resource on Volcanoes, from the TES website. (You have to be a member to download their resources, but it's totally worth joining for hundreds of great ideas, plus it's informative those of us who like to keep up to date with education in this country...). I said to the boys that they could do as much or as little as they liked of the workbooks, I just thought it would be interesting for them. Eldest whizzed through his, and loved it. Middle took his time and stopped when he'd had enough - he can pick it up again later if he likes. We could have made our own volcanoes (we have a bottle of red fizzy drink and mentos in the cupboard), but with all the snow on the ground expected to stay for at least a week, I didn't want the garden to look like a bloodbath for that long with red splashes all over the once-pristine whiteness! It sounds silly, but I know it would bother me... so we will be revisiting volcanoes at least once again soon, after the snow has all gone!
Eldest's 'Volcano' (sadly we cant find Middle's)
Middle's 'Great Grey Owl Hunting'
Eldest's 'Great Grey Owl and Lemming'
Mummy's 'Great Grey Owl'
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
Can't Beat Experience
What a week!
Any feelings of boredom that were lurking from July are now well-and-truly gone! I'm exhausted & ready for a nice mundane routine - but it's been totally fab and worth all the chaos!
Our lovely Dutch friend went home today - we're missing her already. I was glad the boys loved her as much as I do :) I'm hoping their interest in the Netherlands will continue: we're planning to go out to visit at some point, to Eldest's surprise, who had assumed that we wouldn't be able to go there as everyone speaks a different language - great learning opportunity right there!
We also had another friend stay over who is originally from Jamaica - cue an impromptu geography lesson with globe at the kitchen table, finding UK, Netherlands and Jamaica (and then other countries) - I just love the way experiences can spark interest and prompt learning opportunities, right in the middle of life going on!
Anyway, we took a trip to West Wales with our two friends, dropping them off at a B&B & then finding our campsite: cue MUCH RAIN! Fortunately it was dry for long enough to get our outer tent over the inner tent - and then the heavens opened! That first night we had a massive downpour of rain followed by a thunderstorm directly overhead and then heavy hail. Apparently there was a river of rainwater running through the camp during the night, and when we woke in the morning we discovered more than one tent had been flooded... I' m so grateful our tent held strong! I'm also really grateful that the boys slept through it all! (I certainly didn't).
The following two days saw us meeting up with a group of friends (including those we travelled over with) to visit some nature reserves: Ynyslas nature reserve, RSPB Ynys Hir and Cors Dyfi. Thw weather held off and we all had a fabulous time. The boys were the only children there, but far from that being a handicap, actually they were a bit of a star attraction. They were totally confident and comfortable relating to the other adults, and behaved really well (apart from the odd over-tired melt-down when we tried to get them into their sleeping bags at night). Very proud Mummy here :)
So over the last few days and evenings Eldest has accompanied my friends and me on some evening nature experiences (a badger-watch where we saw eleven badgers, a fox, muntjac deer and rabbits, and a guided walk where we were hoping to see barn-owls but sadly didn't see any). He loved it all :) A couple of times he was 'shushed' by the others, but he handled it really well. (That was the main reason for not taking Middle and Youngest: they wouldn't have been able to be still or quiet enough - and would have found the puddles irresistible too).
The younger two joined in the rest of the weekend's walks though - and especially enjoyed trying to catch lizards, as well as spotting slugs, newts, pond-skaters etc, not to forget their impressive acquired collection of sticks, stones and shells (including Youngest's king-of-all-sticks that was alternately a gun, a camera, and a musical instrument) And then today we all had a fabulous shared experience when we visited the Shuttleworth Birds of Prey collection, where we listened to a talk on Eagles and saw various birds being flown - and then had the opportunity to hold a couple of owls. The most keen (after Mummy) was Youngest! He absolutely loved it, holding a tawny owl and then 'flying' a barn owl. Middle also flew the barn owl (as did I - hooray). Eldest wasn't in the mood, but I gave him a quick lesson in using my DSLR camera, and he thoroughly enjoyed getting some really nice shots of the rest of us holding the birds. After a quick stop at the shop where the boys all bought a little owl each, it was home-time (via the airport to drop our friend off).
So today was pretty full-on, with not much chance to "teach", but the boys absorbed so much! Eg after putting them to bed I went to check on them and found two of them in bed wearing a single knitted glove each on their 'flying hand'. It was so cute when I realised they had been trying to replicate the bird flying experience, hawkers glove and all - using knitted gloves and cuddly toys. Eldest even whispered to me that he's found some feathers to stick together to make a 'lure' that he could spin around to train his (toy) bird.
So that's my quick catch-up from the last few days - I wanted to write down how grateful I am for the boys' increased confidence around adults they'd not previously met, and for the opportunities that are expanding their minds and their imaginations. Given the choice between having them stuck in a classroom being force-fed facts or being out in the fresh-air (in all forms of weather) meeting new people and having new experiences - well, I know which form of education appeals the most! We may be tired but we're all very happy: it's been a great and memorable week :)
Any feelings of boredom that were lurking from July are now well-and-truly gone! I'm exhausted & ready for a nice mundane routine - but it's been totally fab and worth all the chaos!
Our lovely Dutch friend went home today - we're missing her already. I was glad the boys loved her as much as I do :) I'm hoping their interest in the Netherlands will continue: we're planning to go out to visit at some point, to Eldest's surprise, who had assumed that we wouldn't be able to go there as everyone speaks a different language - great learning opportunity right there!
We also had another friend stay over who is originally from Jamaica - cue an impromptu geography lesson with globe at the kitchen table, finding UK, Netherlands and Jamaica (and then other countries) - I just love the way experiences can spark interest and prompt learning opportunities, right in the middle of life going on!
Anyway, we took a trip to West Wales with our two friends, dropping them off at a B&B & then finding our campsite: cue MUCH RAIN! Fortunately it was dry for long enough to get our outer tent over the inner tent - and then the heavens opened! That first night we had a massive downpour of rain followed by a thunderstorm directly overhead and then heavy hail. Apparently there was a river of rainwater running through the camp during the night, and when we woke in the morning we discovered more than one tent had been flooded... I' m so grateful our tent held strong! I'm also really grateful that the boys slept through it all! (I certainly didn't).
The following two days saw us meeting up with a group of friends (including those we travelled over with) to visit some nature reserves: Ynyslas nature reserve, RSPB Ynys Hir and Cors Dyfi. Thw weather held off and we all had a fabulous time. The boys were the only children there, but far from that being a handicap, actually they were a bit of a star attraction. They were totally confident and comfortable relating to the other adults, and behaved really well (apart from the odd over-tired melt-down when we tried to get them into their sleeping bags at night). Very proud Mummy here :)
beautiful Ynys Hir
So over the last few days and evenings Eldest has accompanied my friends and me on some evening nature experiences (a badger-watch where we saw eleven badgers, a fox, muntjac deer and rabbits, and a guided walk where we were hoping to see barn-owls but sadly didn't see any). He loved it all :) A couple of times he was 'shushed' by the others, but he handled it really well. (That was the main reason for not taking Middle and Youngest: they wouldn't have been able to be still or quiet enough - and would have found the puddles irresistible too).
The younger two joined in the rest of the weekend's walks though - and especially enjoyed trying to catch lizards, as well as spotting slugs, newts, pond-skaters etc, not to forget their impressive acquired collection of sticks, stones and shells (including Youngest's king-of-all-sticks that was alternately a gun, a camera, and a musical instrument) And then today we all had a fabulous shared experience when we visited the Shuttleworth Birds of Prey collection, where we listened to a talk on Eagles and saw various birds being flown - and then had the opportunity to hold a couple of owls. The most keen (after Mummy) was Youngest! He absolutely loved it, holding a tawny owl and then 'flying' a barn owl. Middle also flew the barn owl (as did I - hooray). Eldest wasn't in the mood, but I gave him a quick lesson in using my DSLR camera, and he thoroughly enjoyed getting some really nice shots of the rest of us holding the birds. After a quick stop at the shop where the boys all bought a little owl each, it was home-time (via the airport to drop our friend off).
So today was pretty full-on, with not much chance to "teach", but the boys absorbed so much! Eg after putting them to bed I went to check on them and found two of them in bed wearing a single knitted glove each on their 'flying hand'. It was so cute when I realised they had been trying to replicate the bird flying experience, hawkers glove and all - using knitted gloves and cuddly toys. Eldest even whispered to me that he's found some feathers to stick together to make a 'lure' that he could spin around to train his (toy) bird.
So that's my quick catch-up from the last few days - I wanted to write down how grateful I am for the boys' increased confidence around adults they'd not previously met, and for the opportunities that are expanding their minds and their imaginations. Given the choice between having them stuck in a classroom being force-fed facts or being out in the fresh-air (in all forms of weather) meeting new people and having new experiences - well, I know which form of education appeals the most! We may be tired but we're all very happy: it's been a great and memorable week :)
Friday, 17 August 2012
What Socialisation Issue?
Pretty much any Home Educator that you come across will acknowledge that one of the most frequent questions they are asked by non HE-ers is the "But what about socialisation?" one. It was even one of my concerns before we took the leap into our own HE experience and came to realise what a complete non-issue it is.
One of the reasons behind the fallacy of a socialisation issue is that, as a Facebook friend wisely commented in her blog here, there is a difference between the meanings of socialising (as something you do with someone) and socialisation (something you do to someone): socialising is mixing socially with others in a friendly way; socialisation is a process that a person goes through where they learn how to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.
The problem most people have with HE when they talk about socialisation is actually not that of learning to behave in a socially acceptable way. I think (I hope) we all acknowledge that children learn socially acceptable behaviour primarily at home. Home is where they are taught to say 'please' and 'thank you'; home is where they are taught to share, to respect authority, to treat guests with courtesy, to put rubbish in the bin, to be gentle with those younger or more fragile; home is - in the UK at least - where they learn how to queue (I'm thinking of trips to the shops with your toddlers, in case you were developing a mental image of me making my children queue for dinner like some modern-day Oliver Twists). The list could go on and on. Yes, teachers in school sometimes need to step in to referee, eg when on playground duty in primary school, but they expect their duty to be reinforcing social skills that children have already been taught at home.
When the 'socialisation issue' is raised, I think what people are actually concerned about is the opportunity for them to make friends and play together (as if by keeping our children out of school we are cloistering them, making them dependant on us, their parents, and depriving them of the chance to meet people they can get on with - all of which couldn't be more untrue). Certainly my concern for my boys was that I wanted them to have "friends their own age". As I wrote about in The Socialising Myth, where this 'issue' was my main reason for originally choosing to put my children into school, it became the catalyst for us taking them out of school: one of them in particular had become depressed and anxious, largely because of his inability to handle the school social dynamics. Also, if I take my own experience, I have to say that the socialising aspect was the thing that made my school life so miserable. I was not comfortable in my own skin: was insecure and completely baffled how people seemed to make friends so easily. As mentioned in Lessons in Socialising, the socialising lessons I remember learning were almost entirely negative. I still have to overcome self-doubt when in social situations - but at least I think my own experiences at school were why I recognised the damage being done to the boys (Middle in particular), and why it was then such an easy decision to remove them from school.
So the next time I'm asked "what about socialisation", first of all I'm going to try to establish what is meant by the term: socialising or socialisation? Depending on the answer, I have answers ready (some may call them rants)...
Regarding socialising, it's true that the only time my boys ever say that they miss school is when they miss seeing their friends every day (although this isn't enough to make them want to go back to school, I hasten to add!) However, they still have friends. All the boys have friends over to play - some friends that they made at school, and they have also made some new friends who they get on with really well (wouldn't have met them outside of HE), and we tend to meet up with different friends at least once or twice a week - plus they have each other, and their bond as brothers is generally getting much stronger (allowing for fraternal squabbles & such like).
Regarding socialisation (brace yourselves), I have a question: what positive social skills do you think children learn at school nowadays that they don't learn at home? I can think of many negative ones, but not a single positive one. As part of our Home Education, they are learning to relate to people of all different ages, which will be far more useful in the real world than being segregated into groups of a narrow age-margin; they have frequent opportunities to meet new people, which has helped their confidence in entering unfamiliar situations, rather than being restricted to the same group of people for several years and being generally stuck with the identity given to you by group consensus from the outset. They are learning to form their own opinions and are developing their own interests, rather than feeling to obliged to follow the crowd or the latest trend.
Finally, at the start of the summer holidays I was introduced to a new phenomenon: I was fairly used to parents complaining about the school holidays - what were they going to do with their kids etc etc - I never related, but I was used to hearing it; the new bit was the amount of Home Edders who weren't looking forward to the school holidays either (including me). There was one reason for this negative feeling: we had to share the parks and public play areas with schoolkids. This isn't just cos we selfishly don't want to share - well OK, it is a little bit: we are pretty spoilt when it comes to having the play areas to ourselves and a few preschoolers - however it's mainly (speaking from my own experience) because so many of the big groups of children in the parks have such bad social skills!!! There is so much more pushing, shouting, insult-throwing and general showing-off than we are used to, so much pack-mentality. It's horrible, at times almost feral - and certainly not what I call 'socialised' behaviour. In fact I'm now so convinced that the social skills the boys are learning through HE are better than otherwise, I kind of feel a bit like asking those whose children go to school, "but what about the (so-called) socialisation?". Of course I wouldn't ever say that really, I have a horror of sitting in judgement over the decisions of others that are none of my business - but it makes you think...
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