Wednesday 27 March 2013

Orange Rhinos Rule!

It's been "one-of-those-days" with Youngest today.  In fact, he's been a total handful all week so far.  Towards the end of craft club yesterday morning I could see he was starting to go into hyperdrive, I so told the boys it was time to go.  Youngest had a trainer missing for some reason - so we located it and tried to put it back on.  I tried everything: I asked him to put it on; I told him to put it on; I counted backwards from three (which almost always works); I cajoled, and I threatened.  I ended up wrestling with him on the floor, trying to stop him from kicking me while I attempted (and failed) to put it on for him.  At that point I realised how utterly ridiculous it was, trying to force a rebellious child into complying and said, "Fine. You can walk to the car as you are (with one foot bare as his sock had come off as well while we were wrestling).  So that's what he did, complaining all the way.  I knew he wouldn't get hurt, it wasn't far at all - the car was parked about ten metres away from the front door - but still, it was freezing out there.  Cold enough for him to learn a valuable lesson... funnily enough he didn't resist at all once we got in the car.

Although the floor-wrestling was embarrassing, I counted the over-all incident as a personal victory, as I succeeded in not shouting.  You see, the other day I was introduced to the "Orange Rhino Challenge": a blog by an amazing (and brutally honest) woman who took up the challenge to not yell at her children for 365 days.  This is something I have wanted to change about myself for a long time - and had made considerable improvement, especially since starting to Home Ed: when our stress levels dropped, I didn't feel the need to yell anywhere near so often.  This year has been really stressful so far though, and I have definitely slipped into bad habits, so I was really ready to discover the Orange Rhino and take up the challenge... all of which is why I was so pleased with myself that even though I found myself wrestling on the carpet with a four year old (who was winning, it has to be said), I didn't lose my temper!  To be honest though, I have to admit did yell at them later in the car when they were fighting and screaming while I was trying to drive - but today is a fresh start, and so far, so good!

Youngest has certainly done his utmost to provoke, too,  He slammed the freezer door into my leg after I asked him to come away; he ran in front of an oncoming car (thank God the woman driving saw him and stopped in time) - of course I did shout 'stop' but I didn't yell at him for it afterwards; I stayed calm (at least on the outside) while trying to stop him rampaging through the barber's shop, messing with spinning chairs, turning the light-switches on and off and generally being deliberately annoying; he tried climbing a shelf unit, resulting in a broken shelf spilling an unprecedented level of chaos into the study; he snapped his big brother's retractable tape measure... aaarrrggghhh!  what a day!  And no, he doesn't have ADHD or anything like that - he's just a bundle of life and energy!

Actually I was thinking about it today, and remembered that when I was pregnant with him I used to pray for him daily and speak life over him deliberately (I had miscarried two of my babies at twelve weeks, so all through his first trimester I prayed a LOT, until we had that first beautiful scan showing a very much live-and-kicking baby in my womb).  I wonder now if I maybe overdid it a little... I mean, he really is full-to-brimming with life!!!  He's not usually this naughty though - I suspect a growth spurt and the need for extra reassuring hugs with Mummy.

Anyway, many of you lovely lot out there won't really relate to this "trying not to yell" post: there are so many who already manage to parent peacefully. I am posting this for those of you who do relate - and maybe you'll be encouraged to take the Orange Rhino challenge too, but orange rhino or otherwise, I hope you all have a peaceful evening!

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