Mummy Joins In

Our days seem to have a much more enjoyable pace when we stay home in the mornings, and go out in the afternoons - when we go out in the mornings the boys seem to struggle to get into their groove for the rest of the day.  For that reason I decided first thing that even though we had shopping to do (which I would normally try to get out of the way early on), we would go into town after lunch, giving us the morning to relax & ease into the day, as mentioned in Finding our Natural Rhythm - and we really had a lovely morning. :)
DS1 wanted some computer time today, which presented me with a dilemma.  You see, Daddy found a great 'Clone Wars' game online (and DS1 LOVES Clone Wars) - so ever since then, he has only wanted to play on that rather than look at any of the educational games I had set up for him.  So my dilemma was: do I let him play what he wants in the spirit of deschooling, and miss out on my comfort blanket that is MathsWhizz, GridClub etc, or do I ask him to play MathsWhizz (or other educational game) and have the reassurance that he is doing something constructive, but go back on the decision to deschool?  Well, we had a brief chat about it (nothing heavy) so I could try to establish where he's at with it all, and he was really happy to split his computer time in two - first half on MathsWhizz and second half on Clone Wars.  So that's what he did.  I think as long as the boys are happy with learning, it would be daft to avoid it altogether just because we are "deschooling" - and I have to say I was relieved, not least because Maths Whizz was not cheap and I didn't want to waste the money we'd spent on the subscription!
It made for a lovely moment for us too, because somehow he got stuck on questions that he didn't understand (converting metres to kilometres, using decimal points - ie 2,450m = 2.45km)  He must have skipped the tutorial bit somehow, but it gave me the chance to sit down and explain it to him with pen & paper.  We went through a few examples and he got it easily within five minutes.  It was just a lovely one-on-one teaching moment, which was really successful! I've tried teaching him before when he had Maths homework he was stuck on and it didn't go well, largely because he had a defeatist attitude.  This time his attitude was so much better - he was relaxed, paid attention, & got it really quickly - it made my day :)
I also had a lovely time with DS2 & 3 this morning, making a zoo out of playdough and generally indulging in imaginative play.  There was a great assortment of randomly-sized animals in our zoo, (not to mention a giant bowl of soup and a "knocked-over dessert"), and three dinosaurs called Fred, Boris and Boris (!) who were having a lovely day out, until one of them did an enormous poo that got stuck to his bottom (lots of brown playdough involved).
Yet another benefit of Home Ed: I have time to play with my boys and to listen when they want to talk.  I read a quote today that goes as follows:

“Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”  - Catherine M Wallace

I always knew this was true, but while they (and I) were at school, there never seemed to be enough time to spend with each of them, just enjoying them, chatting together, and getting to know them better.  I LOVE that we get to hang out together most of the time now - and I believe that's one of the reasons why they're relaxing & becoming more secure :) 
Once we got home from our afternoon trip into town, the icing on the cake for the day was when DS3 learned to say 'humonguous' (relating to a very long piece of spaghetti), and the point when DS2 called in from the garden, "Mummy, look at this!" and I was able to go to the window immediately to see him triumphantly completing a somersault on the trampoline.  Little stuff or big stuff - however you see it, for me it just doesn't get much better :)

And that's OK because we're deschooling...

The problem with writing a blog is that your life is on display... and the problem with Home Educating is that you can feel like you have so much to prove (pioneers, aka 'those who go against the flow' are always being assessed by those around them as to the success of their venture) - so, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but publically exposing our journey into the unknown could be classed as a bit insane! I suppose I could just have kept a private diary, but I know I wouldn't have kept it up - and I really do want a record of the journey we've been on, for us to look back on, and maybe even to help anyone else starting out.  Not everyone's journey will look like mine, as I said in my introduction - but some of the questions will be similar, so I would love to think that other Home Educators are encouraged (or at least entertained) by what I write.  So I include the good and the bad here - the good in the hope that people will be encouraged that HE can and does work, and the bad so that other Home Edders having a trying day will know it's not just them ;).
Today has been absolutely fine, but to my over-analytical eye, my own attitude has been challenging.  We had a lovely time at the local HE craft club - it's just that hanging out with other Home Educators can bring on a chronic 'should' attack faster than you can blink (see my post, Attack of the Killer Shoulds).  It's really lovely hearing what others are doing, but when you are finding your own path, the temptation to compare your journey with that of others on a similar journey can be huge - especially when the 'pioneers' involved are mothers (the most self-questioning bunch of people on the planet - and those who are most desperate to 'get it right').
Anyway, my 'should' attack (you know: "should I be doing what those amazing Home Edders are doing?") this morning was fortunately very brief, as I have the decision to deschool to fight off the feeling of being obliged to do anything.  However, that didn't stop me from feeling a bit dissatisfied when we got home, and several times I had to bite my lip to stop myself asking DS1 to have a go on Maths Whizz instead of playing (yes, I'm rolling my eyes at my own impatience), and trying to persuade the boys to bake bread when they clearly weren't interested today.  I did it though - I let the boys do what they wanted to do.  So I don't have a nice enouraging list of achievements for today, but they all had a lovely time making stuff and playing games at craft club.  DS3 headed straight for Reading Eggs when we got home, and DS1 & 2 ran out for some exercise on the trampoline, but otherwise they have not been interested in anything other than messing about, watching TV or playing on the Wii today!
And that's OK because we're deschooling!  - this is becoming a bit of a mantra of mine now (more eye-rolling at my own inability to stay chilled).
To be fair, the boys did also make some lovely cards for Father's Day on Sunday, and DS1 was pleased to get his hands on his 'Bird Life' comic that just arrived from the RSPB (DS2 & 3 also get a comic each from the RSPB, aimed at younger ages, so I assume theirs will be here soon).  But having made the cards for Sunday, and put everything away (or so I thought), I went to open the door to the lady who had brought my Sainsburys shopping (I LOVE buying groceries over the internet & having them delivered!), and was quickly joined by my two youngest boys who had carefully coloured each other's noses using a lurid pinky-purple felt-pen. To her credit, Sainsburys lady didn't bat an eyelid - she must have kids of her own!  It was just one of those 'not having the best day' moments...
Anyway, I do now have one more weapon in my arsenal against the shoulds, and that was a result of this weekend's visit from grandparents who live quite a way away, and who only see the boys every 2-3 months.  One of the things that they commented on was how much the boys are relaxing.  It's true - they really are chilling and becoming less anxious/ prone to mood-swings.  Not that there wasn't a fair amount of squabbling - after all, visits from loved grandparents always get them hyped up - but even allowing for that heightened excitement, the difference between the boys from the last visit until now was remarkable.  And that is why I know we're on the right track (she says, typing while the boys are all hooked up to the Wii...insert mantra as appropriate).

Finding our Natural Rhythm

I saw this posted on a Facebook Home Ed group this morning: "happy not back to school day everybody!"  It really is!  Despite the non-stop rain outside, we were so busy last week, it was actually really nice to have a relaxing day at home today, chilling and getting back into our own rhythm.
Hubby and I both have very different body clocks... I am a morning person: my brain checks out by 10pm, but I can wake up in the morning and have an instant coherent conversation - he is a night person: he can stay up into the wee hours without seeming to suffer, but he really takes a while to come round in the mornings.  I had thought that the boys all seemed to take after me, but actually I think that it's because all children seem to just have loads of energy first thing in the morning - the blessing of youth!  I am now coming to the conclusion that DS1 may well take after Daddy... he slept in until 8.30 this morning! (DS3 was up just before 7am; DS2 not long afterwards)  He's not poorly; he's just finding his own rhythm.  It's a bit of a dilemma as that means he can probably handle a later bed-time (he never gets to sleep quickly) but I'm not ready to give up my 'child-free' evenings - I really need that space and time off!  I think I'll probably stick to him going upstairs at the same time, but let him read in bed (which he loves) until a later time.
I'm so glad that we got into HE before he hit the teenage years, when he could be even more likely to need to sleep in.  It's such an important benefit of Home Ed, that children can sleep until they naturally wake, making it much less likely that they will be too tired to concentrate or function socially :)
Another rhythm that we seem to be getting into involves kickstarting the morning.  Usually the boys come downstairs at different times, and like to chill with the TV for a bit, while Mummy sorts out the first load of washing, empties the dishwasher, makes breakfast etc.  They eat at different speeds, so sometimes the TV goes back on after breakfast for a short while.  I know many people look down their noses at television, and I concede the point that it can be a phenomenal waste of time - but it can also be a great educational tool, and I think that as long as it's under control, I'm happy for the boys to watch it.  Like the Wii though - it is the  'under control' bit that matters most to me.  So it's not a rule as such, but we tend to switch it off once the boys have all had breakfast, and that is an unspoken signal for them all to go and find something else to do (although often one or more will already have wandered off to find something).  It usually goes back on at lunchtime for the CBeebies 'love to learn' slot while we picnic in the lounge, and then goes off again.  Anyway, as long as I give them notice that it will go off once their current programme has finished, they usually make little if any fuss, and happily find something constructive to do...
For example, this morning DS3 was on Reading Eggs, played with his new Alphabet Puzzle and then made some Anzac biscuits with Mummy...

DS2 played Body snap with me, found an old Roman Things to Make and Do book from the days when I used to sell Usborne books, and made a couple of lovely pictures with the stickers, and then had a turn on Reading Eggs...

DS1 spent the whole morning sorting his lego and playing battle strategies in his room, before having lunch and playing on Grid Club...

The decision to deschool has definitely taken the pressure off, and I'm really encouraged by how much the boys are still learning of their own volition.  The only orchestration that is needed from me is to make sure everyone gets a turn on the PC, and to be ready with a suggestion if anyone runs out of ideas (no suggestions needed from me today, hooray).  It makes for such a relaxing pace of life!

Early night needed

Another busy day today... which started really early as DS3 woke up at something past 5 this morning, and I could not get him back to sleep... grrrr.
Anyway, we had a nice time with friends at our church group this morning, and another nice time with family visiting this afternoon - but by the time we had eaten out at teatime, DS3 had gone into Taz-mode, and we had to hurry to get him home.  The older boys were also on the verge of melt-down by the time we got home (but DS3 was already past the point of no return and just lay on the bed screaming while I got him into his pull-ups and PJs)  Bless him - I'm planning a relaxing day at home tomorrow!  He seemed to bounce right back from being poorly on Friday, but he really was very poorly, so I'm sure it must have taken it out of him :(
I am also very tired myself - so haven't got much more to write today.  Early night for Mummy, methinks - and then hopefully I'll have a bit more to say for myself tomorrow!

Recovering nicely

I'm so glad to have DS3 on the mend... he woke me up this morning telling me that he was hungry (always a good sign).  He had some apple juice & then a couple of bites of banana - although he declared it to be smooshy, so refused the rest & ate a piece of toast instead.  I would usually want him to eat the whole banana, but the day after sickness I tend to let them go with whatever they fancy.  His brothers had been given some mini doughnuts yesterday which he had been eyeing up before he went to bed, so I had told him I would save some for him (there's no way I was giving him any food yesterday - especially as he only liked the idea rather than actually wanting to eat!)  Anyway, having kept his breakfast down today, he had a small sandwich for lunch and then he got his mini doughnuts... happy boy :)  Happy Mummy too - he's normally such a bundle of energy, it was horrid seeing him flopped on my lap all day yesterday (much as I enjoyed the cuddles, it doesn't compare with seeing his cheeky grin this morning, persuading his brothers to come and play).
So we're almost back to normal now... and Mummy has LOTS of washing and tidying up to do after the big boys were left to their own devices for much of yesterday - DS2 found the pinking scissors & having tested out the pretty zigzag edging on endless pieces of paper, couldn't resist the temptation to cut off the ends of his pyjama sleeves, and Mummy's tape measure!  DS1's bedroom looked like he had gone through every single boardgame, not to play but just empty all the small pieces over the floor!  I'm not daft enough to clear up after all that though - they need to learn the consequences of making mess, however much they moan about hating tidying-up... and DS2 will also end up paying for a new tape-measure (not to mention having to wear shorter-sleeved PJs).  I did get out to buy a new broom today though (after they broke the handle off the old one), so was able to sweep up the enormous amount of crud that seems to have collected over just one day!
This afternoon we went out to feed the ducks at a local pond (we had planned to go out for a day-trip, but we decided to do something lower-key as DS3 was recuperating - plus we had LOTS of bread left over from the street party)  It was really nice to make the most of the dry weather, & get some fresh air, although all three boys came back with wet trainers from standing too close to the water's edge... in fact, DS3 had to have a complete change of clothes as he slipped down a little bank & ended up sat in the pond!  Fortunately we always take spare clothes with us for him, in case of accidents - bless him, he's not had the best couple of days!  He's nicely snuggled up with me again now, not in a droopy, poorly way, just having a cuddle - and that's the way I like it :)

poorly boy

My littlest is fighting off some kind of sickness today, which means he just wants to cuddle Mummy while the others are being left to their own devices. I'm sure there's nothing left in his stomach for him to throw up (he's not even keeping water down), but now he's fallen asleep on my lap (I'm typing one-handed on my laptop), I have to say I'm a little nervous about the possibility of him weeing on me in his sleep (he still wears pull-ups at night). Not nervous enough to put him down, though... when my babies are poorly, it brings out the strongest of my maternal instincts, and I am happy to provide all the cuddles required; I feel so helpless otherwise. I am really grateful that the older ones have got so much better at entertaining themselves... I feel a bit mean, not paying them much attention, but the fact is, they are playing really happily together. Every now and then DS1 pops downstairs to see how his "so cute" little brother is doing - and then he disappears again. It makes me very proud of them!
So, there will be nothing much to report today... and even if there were, it would take far too long typing with only one hand! So I will leave you with some of my favourite quotes on education - and here's hoping for a better day tomorrow!

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

I learned most, not from those who taught me but from those who talked with me. - St Augustine

Another merit of home is that it preserves the diversity between individuals. If we were all alike, it might be convenient for the bureaucrat and the statistician, but it would be very dull. - Bertrand Russell  

Deschooling: the pressure's off!

As I mentioned the other day, this week being half-term has eased the pressure on my subconscious mind that still thinks I need to be 'educating' the children Monday - Friday during term-time.  Other than that, there has been very little evident difference to our usual weekdays (not that we really have a 'usual' at the moment).  There has been a lot of socialising - but sometimes we also have very social weeks during 'term-time', just that socialising is often with other Home Edders, whereas during school holidays it's a great opportunity to catch up with the boys' other friends who go to school.  Even when Daddy was home (he is the single biggest factor in making a day feel like a holiday), the boys still liked to get on the computer, and/ or watch certain TV programmes (Deadly 60, Kid Detectives, Our Planet, Numtums, Alphablocks, Rhyme Rocket etc etc... as well as the inevitable Spongebob... who knows, maybe they're learning something useful from Mr Squarepants too...?!) I am seeing that lack of difference more clearly this week - and since the attack of the 'should's last week, I feel like I've come through a decision point without realising it.   I had been aware of the probable need to deschool, but hadn't fully committed to it.  I now realise that since last week I actually have made a clear decision.  We are deschooling.
Acknowledging that decision has taken such a lot of pressure off.  Like I said yesterday - I'll still be looking out for ways to encourage the boys' learning, but from now until probably September, it's going to look a lot like unschooling around here.  We have MathsWhizz, Reading Eggs and Grid Club when the boys want to go on them; we have endless opportunities to do science experiments, bake cakes, make arty things; we have lot of fantastic quality programmes on TV - educational as well as pure entertainment.  If the boys ask to do something learning-wise (or not), it is my hope and intention to say 'yes' to as much as possible.  BUT (and it is a big 'but') I AM NOT GOING TO STRESS ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE OR ARE NOT LEARNING.  I will be watching, (otherwise I may not have much to write in this blog), but just not stressing about it.  I will doubtless be thinking and evaluating - but the decision to deschool is really just recognising what we have effectively already been doing.  This is why their weekends & holidays look so similar to their weekdays.  And that is OK.  I don't have to make a decision yet about how we are hoing to do Home Ed.  I had been feeling like if we did nothing that it would mean I had chosen to unschool - and I haven't (although I haven't actively chosen against it either).  In deciding to deschool I have actually chosen not to make a decision yet.  And that is SUCH A RELIEF!  I don't feel experienced enough to make that decision yet - and now I accept that I don't have to - I have nothing to prove.
Actually if I want proof or reassurance that we're doing OK, I don't usually have to wait long... for example, DS1 has a friend sleeping over at the moment (well, sleeping for a small amount of the night anyway - by day they spend a fair amount of time wandering around in dressing gowns and wielding lightsabers).  While watching a cartoon based underwater, this friend asked me, "what's so great about a coral reef?"  Well I didn't need to even try to answer - DS1 launched into a nicely detailed explanation of why most of the life in the ocean depends on the coral reef.  Encouraging HE Mummy moment right there :)
Oh, and by the way, I must say that this relief-inducing decision of mine is in no small way thanks to the support and encouragement of some lovely people who I have met online. If there are any other new Home Edders reading this, I cannot recommend strongly enough that you get online and join a Home Ed group or two (Facebook and Yahoo are great places to start looking) - the support is absolutely invaluable.